Mastodawn

I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday...the rest are weekdays. #dadjoke

Because of all the knights.

Nice belt.

If you’re struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it. #dadjoke

I'll just go on ahead.

Ha!

Do you know why zombies put the tomato on their sandwich before the brains?

Mind over 'maters.

Happy Monday, everyone.

I removed their shells to make them more aerodynamic, but they became sluggish.

Bed: ‘Rest your case!’ Me: This is over. 😆 #DadJoke #SoftTruth #OverThisDay