Mastodawn

What did the sea say to the sand? "We have to stop meeting like this." #dadjoke

Q: Why do fuel tankers have to pay to pass through the Straight of Hormuz?

A bartender broke up with her boyfriend, but he kept asking her for another shot.

Eyeroll #comic number 1.

#Snow Pants

She was a roman catholic.

I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something. #dadjoke

What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
BREATH!!

I'm practicing for a bug-eating contest and I've got butterflies in my stomach.

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

At the bottom! #dadjoke

My New Years resolution is to stop leaving things so late.