This week's blog post is a conversation with an abuser introject of my twin. It starts with:

🐀 I just... I just want this pain to stop... *sobs*

🐑 Do you know where this pain is coming from?

🐀 FROM YOU!!!!!

🐑 *holds up hands* I am not hurting you.

🐀 BUT I'M IN PAIN!!! IT MUST BE YOU!!!! >:///
IT IS ALWAYS YOU.
You are the weakest link. If you just measured UP, we'd ALL be ok!!!

later:

🐑 You didn't disintegrate from pain, despite the fact that I kept my boundary. Me having boundaries is not an attack on you or constitutes abuse.

🐀 it does

🐑 No, it does not.

We did get somewhere in the end. Felt very enlightening about how our abusers think, how abuse works in our corrupt family system. Granted, this is only coming from an introject, but still.

⚠️ TW for incest, rape, CSA

https://aurin.mataroa.blog/blog/inner-helper-talks-to-the-abuser-introject/

#rapeSurvivor #AbuseSurvivor #Introject #parts #DID #persecutor #ShadowWork #RapeCulture #incest #cocsa #AurinBlogs

This week's blog post is the continuation of a conversation with my Inner Helper about intrusive thoughts/introjects. Excerpts:

"Getting that memory out... it was buried so deep. Dion is right, it was like digging out a splinter from a wound, it hurt a lot but it was necessary."

"I am staying me. And I am holding on to that idea... how did Dion put it? "Your true self is not "being a martyr"" :')"

"And I am looking at the abuser introject or whatever it is, and holding steady.

I can do this."

"I don't know what this means but it feels right. It feels like a triumph of sorts - we didn't just heal a wound, we allowed something to grow stronger than ever before."

You can tell how invaluable having a trusted, supportive, loving friend – Dion – is! I couldn't do this alone! ❤️

https://aurin.mataroa.blog/blog/intrusive-thoughts-2/

#AurinBlogs #MentalHealth #neuroSpicy #NeuroDivergent #trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #DID #multiple #AbuseSurvivor #rape #RapeSurvivor #incest #CSA #CoCSA #IntrusiveThoughts #introject #AbuserIntroject #Persecutor