I wrote a piece over on my substack about how it feels a couple of years on from getting my autism diagnosis.
spoiler: Harder than advertised!
Love you to read/share/sub etc
https://matricardo.substack.com/p/i-didnt-always-know
#autistic #autism #actuallautistic #disabled #adhd #neurodiverse
I'm starting to realize how the complexity of my personality was totally incompatible with the relationship between my former wife and myself. Realizing that I am AuDHD, aromantic, asexual and nonbinary provides answers to so many conflicts we've had throughout the years and which finally lead to our divorce.
My wife always wished for a partner with "manly" features and I've always had problems to deliver that, because I didn't feel it. In turn, I never knew (and still don't) what I wished from her. For me, respecting and caring for each other has always been enough. I don't have any feelings toward any roles that one should have to fill inside a relationship.
I also don't know what I would wish from a new partner, which currently amplifies my feeling that I actually don't want any kind of close relationship. Sometimes I start thinking about how it would feel to be in a relationship again. And then all those questions, about how that relationship would need to be for me, rise up again. Which leads to my conclusion that it wouldn't be worth the spoon investment. I'm happy being alone.
#ActuallyAuDHD #ActuallAutistic #ActuallyADHD #aromantic #asexual #nonbinay
@anna @aral Oh Lordy. Does this meet criteria yet for asylum visas in any countries yet? *any* countries-I’m a quick study at foreign languages.
Asking for an #ActuallAutistic me
@docjohng "Children who get an autism diagnosis — even in its mildest form, what used to be called Asperger syndrome — can get allowances and special consideration in both the academic resources available to them, as well as their academic performance."
Milder form? You mean "less disturbing form"?
And pushing the narrative that Autistic kids get preferential treatment? That's just untrue. I don't know what reality you live in, but in the UK, it's slow, uncertain and painfully unhelpful.
"autism doesn’t have a drug to treat it" nor does lefthandedness... do you mean a drug that makes us more socially acceptable? Or a drug that makes us "normal" by rewiring our neurodivergent brains? Or maybe a drug that makes "normal" people not bothered by our differences?
"Yet I don’t know of any good mainstream media stories that have covered all the secondary (usually academic) benefits children with these kinds of disorders can get." pity we're not all savants with an amazing superpower, right? Going through school as an Austistic person was a bundle of laughs. Not. My neurodivergent kids have also not found any particular "(usually academic) benefits" either.
This takes the absolute biscuit: "Autism, like ADHD, remains a serious and often debilitating mental illness".
It's not a mental illness. It's a neurological difference and you should (and I suspect do) know better.
I also feel lucky that there is so much more awareness and community around neurodivergence. The older generation really didn't have any support.
It took me until my late 30s to realize the feeling that I was different from everyone else is something real that other people experience. But then I could tap into all the great community and resources that are out there now.
@actuallyautistic @autisticbookclub
I love learning about what fellow autistics experience when using hashtags or groups as a way to connect and share. I also love hearing about or valuable community history. More of that, always, please!
I hate reading fellow autistics criticizing the ways that other autistics using hashtags or groups as a way to connect. Less of that, boo!
By the way, "I use this becuase like this and not that" or "when I use that I am uncomfortable about what it implies to me" - those are not criticisms. Criticisms are "It will work best if autistics only use this" or "autistics should not use that".
#Autism #Autistic #ActuallAutistic #AllAutistics #AutisticMe
Mat Ricardo
V'ger
🇵🇸 Amanda
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ADHDAlly
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Ed Yother 