“Check it out, I got a Trinitron for my new retro gaming rig. Just listen to the satisfying clunk it makes when I turn it on.” *BLONG*

“Uh, is your rig connected to the internet?”

“Duh, it’s for strea—ooof.”

“Stay down!”

“Get off me! Why did you do that?”

“The BeamGleam worm is still live, you utter wardrobe handle”

“Wjuh, uh what’s that?”

“A cathode ray tube is just a friendly ion cannon; the Worm makes them…unfriendly”

“Don’t be paranoid tha”—*BZZZT*

“Told you. Unplug it before you get up, Ima crawl to the kitchen and get the fire extinguisher.”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot

NEW YORK (AP): Shares in Manhattan based SPAV “Ethereal Services LLC”—which last year acquired a number of occult-related businesses including pioneering startup Ghostbusters Inc—have been suspended from trading after the District Court of Appeals upheld a ruling that found the capture and imprisonment of spirits to be a violation of the first, fourth and fifth amendments. ESI’s removal of spirits from the GI containment grid for use in so-called Afterlife Intelligence processors was challenged by a class-action brought by the relatives of deceased persons who claim that the personality of their lost loved ones could be observed in the output of AI data centers. Lawyers for the plaintiff class have called for immediate release of illegally imprisoned VEPs (vital essence persons).

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Class_Action

I’ve always treated the modern world like a marvel. I carry an imaginary 15th century peasant in my head, and when I wash a teflon pan, or take an ibuprofen, I experience their appreciation of these everyday miracles. Whenever I use a new piece of technology I mentally explain how it works. If I can’t explain, we should go find out. Sometimes they talk back to me.

Today, in a moment of crisis, they said “I’ve got this; let me drive. Where’s our pitchfork?”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Everyday_Miracles

Serious offer: i know how to make electric bicycles, electrify analog bicycles and repair broken electric bikes/scooters. If you are in #Brisbane, feeling fuel pinch, and want to get (back/newly) on two wheels, hit me up. Parts to electrify a bicycle cost a few hundred dollars, no need to spend $4000 on a store bike if you don’t want to. I even have some analog bikes we could use for parts. If you have access to ex rental scooters from defunct rental companies, i can also help resurrect these.

Will hold a weekend #ebike #escooter #micromobility workshop if there is interest.

ETA: if not in brissy i can recommend parts to buy

ETFA: if you have a good bike but a dead battery, this can be resurrected for around $100

ETEFA: your replies tell me I'd better pump out a blog post on this subject pronto.

ETYFA: Blog series https://accelerando.com.au/news/

“Wait” the bicycle said.

“Who said that?” the person holding the bolt cutters lowered them.

“My owner is a wizard,” the bicycle continued, “who is tired of losing bicycles.”

“Bicycles don’t talk” Mx bolt-cutter counterfactually replied.

“Speak the words ‘I would like a bicycle’ and you will receive a bicycle”

“Uh, I would like…a bicycle?”

*glingglinggling* “There you go. On your way”

“Uh, thanks I guess”

“Leave the bolt cutters. or else.”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Universal_Bicycle_Income for @ash

The biannual equinoxes are the only times that the south polar access shaft—leading to the planetary engine room—can be safely navigated without the elevator car, which the late former custodian had left at the bottom. Now that we have regained access, orbital adjustment will commence as soon as Dr Croft retrieves the Spare Key.

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Spare_Key

“Our carbon capture and sequestration process links carbon with light elements to form a viscous liquid which can be pumped deep into the planetary crust, where it will remain indefinitely”

— decoded transliteration from a fragment of diamond memory wafer, tentatively dated 9.4x10¹⁷ ±10% seconds BCE (approx 316 MYa)

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Viable_CCS

“Wow nice boots, they must take ages to lace up though”

“Sure did, I just unbolt my hips rather than unlace them”

“Ooooo-kay, perk of being synthetic I guess”

“It’s not all wins, I couldn’t find one of my spare legs so had to scoot round the flat on my roomba, til i finally located it”

#Tootfic #MicroFiction #PowerOnStoryToot #Title_Hinky_Boots