I did it. I finally ate chicken and waffles.
And I need to talk about it, because what I experienced was not just a mealβit was a maple syrup hate crime.
Let me break this down for my fellow Canadians. Chicken and waffles is an American dish where they take a big, fluffy waffleβalready loaded with butterβand drop a hunk of deep-fried chicken on top. Bone-in, bone-out, doesnβt matter. Then, as if that werenβt chaotic enough, they drown the whole thing in maple syrup. Sometimesβnot always, but often enough to be a patternβthey mix in hot sauce, like Frankβs or Louisiana Red Hot, right into the syrup.
Hot sauce. In maple syrup. And then they pour it on chicken. And act like this is completely fine.
I donβt know how to process that. I grew up treating maple syrup with reverence. We tap it from sacred trees. We serve it in little ceramic pitchers. We donβt mix it with hot sauce and use it as a marinade for poultry. What am I, a monster?
And yetβI ate it.
First bite: okay, this is wrong. The flavors donβt belong together. The chicken is hot and salty and crunchy, and the waffle is soft and sweet and buttery, and then thereβs this weird, sweet heat from the maple-hot-sauce concoction that feels like my mouth just got hijacked by a NASCAR driver.
Second bite: still wrong. But in a⦠compelling way?
Third bite: oh no.
Itβs happening. Iβm enjoying it. Iβm complicit now. The syrup drips down the side of the chicken, mixing with grease like itβs auditioning for a Food Network segment called βDeep South Degeneracy.β And I canβt stop. Itβs like brunch and dinner got drunk and started making out on my plate.
Iβm not proud of this. I feel like Iβve betrayed my nation. Somewhere, a Mountie is weeping. But Iβll be honest: it was delicious. Infuriatingly, offensively delicious.
Still, I want it on the record: syrup goes on pancakes. Not chicken. Not ever. Whatever that was, it wasnβt breakfast. It was a maple-fried identity crisis.
Final score: 8.5/10. Iβll never be clean again.