Mastodawn

Bigpoppadrunk

148 Followers

117 Following

98 Posts

All bribes must be in form of a taco

Hanukkah is the original Kaitlyn. There is 500 ways to spell it and no one ever tells you it's spelled wrong

When no one else will tell you the hard truths, Duolingo is there.

*wakes from nap*

*yawns*

*stretches*

*rests head back on the pillow for a moment*

*naps*

My husband bought harmonicas for our kids and now I need to find a new family

Marriage is sometimes apologizing for stuff you did in your wife's dream

The last time I slept well, the golden girls were alive and Pete Davidson was a virgin

I still remember the day my father promoted me to general disappointment.

Ya all be liking the bad boy until he starts doing bad boy bullshit.

Ok let's give this a whirl...

*ahem*

IT'S THEROPOD THURSDAY! SEND TOOOOOOOOOOTS!!!!!1

(link them in the replies for favs and boosts)

...starting a sentence “with all due respect” means you’re about to drag someone to hell!