🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄)

They told me Jesus would open doors, but I decided to try him on smaller padlocks first.

(some Christian organization sent out bulk Jesus ads that contained little metal crosses, so I decided to make a holy jiggler)

#AlicePics #Locksport #Jesus #Challenge

Mar 30 at 5:35pmWeb
Show threadkwayk42Mar 30

@alice to this day, I think one of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard was :

Locks are for honest people

Easily in the top 10 pieces of advice I've ever received

Show threadNot a Spring OnionMar 30

@alice

Jesus is a shaped charge for when lesser tools fail.

Show threadAgnieszka R. TurczyńskaMar 30
@alice Sister Steve from Father Dowling Mysteries comes to mind.
Show threadTalia VayasMar 30
@alice The Holy Jiggler! Right next to the The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
Show threadDizzy 0069 Stiff Assed Crip Mar 30
@talvayas @alice The number of the jiggles shall be three. Three shall be the number of the jiggles.
Show threadЯ⊛ḶḶ model ☭Mar 30

@alice

time to take this show on the road.

Show threadColes Street PotholeMar 30

@alice
Holy Jiggler is my new band name. #IMNBN

First album: Jesus Is My Lock Pick.

Show threadThe Witch of Crow BriarMar 30
@ColesStreetPothole @alice Holy Jiggler sounds like a Batman villain 😂 BIFF! PICK! POW! EVENSONG!
Show threadJanetMar 30
@ColesStreetPothole @alice I did once hear a real sermon in a real church about how we all had holes in the walls of our hearts and the minister exhorted us to allow ‘Jesus to fill your hole.’ To my shame (or pride) I was the only person sniggering 🤭. There’s no metaphor like a mixed metaphor I say…
Show threadNot a Spring OnionMar 30

@Janet_52square @ColesStreetPothole @alice

Personally, I put my thrust in Jesus.

Show threadColes Street PotholeMar 30
@wakame @Janet_52square @alice
Hello, and welcome to the We Are All Going To Hell thread! 😂
Show threadJanetMar 30
@ColesStreetPothole @wakame @alice Speak for yourself. This story *comes* to you from one who attended her mother’s church and was a good daughter who hid her fit of the giggles. Personally I think that puts me up there with the nicest of the damned if not on the naughty step in heaven…
Show threadJanetMar 30
@ColesStreetPothole @wakame @alice though perhaps I also lose points for sharing on mastodon… 🙄😇
Show threadColes Street PotholeMar 30
@Janet_52square Also, do I sense a feeling of . . . PRIDE? @wakame @alice
Show threadJanetMar 31
@ColesStreetPothole @wakame @alice in the proper sense. I might have stayed in a church that was inclusive and embraced Pride.
Show threadColes Street PotholeMar 30

@Janet_52square @alice I think the minister knew what he was doing.

See also:

Show threadAI6YR BenMar 30
@Janet_52square @ColesStreetPothole @alice 😬
Show threadDave RahardjaMar 30
@Janet_52square @ColesStreetPothole @alice Get ready, for he’s coming soon!
Show threadDanielle CrawfordMar 30
@ColesStreetPothole Holy Jiggler, sung to the tune of Holy Diver by Dio
Show threadThird spruce tree on the leftMar 30

@aizuchi @ColesStreetPothole

Holy Jiggler
You've been down too long with that padlock, see
Oh what's becomin' of me
Unchain that bikelock
You like pickn locks but your're not a theif
Just want to see if you succeed

Gotta pick that lock, holy jiggler, yeah

Cylinders and tumblahs
Like the gears in the bowels of an oiled machine
Police is coming for you, look out
Race for subscribers
Lock pickn lawyers got nothin on you
Oh we we'll mash Like on Youtoooobe

Gotta pick that lock, holy jiggler

Show threadDanielle CrawfordMar 30
@tezoatlipoca @ColesStreetPothole 🤩
Show threadDizzy 0069 Stiff Assed Crip Mar 30
@tezoatlipoca @aizuchi @ColesStreetPothole 🤘🏻
Show threadDizzy 0069 Stiff Assed Crip Mar 30
@ColesStreetPothole @alice The Methodist in me can think up enough stuff for an idea of a sermon entitled Jesus Is My Lockpick.
Show threadDizzy 0069 Stiff Assed Crip Mar 30
@ColesStreetPothole @alice A quick resubtitle of a scene from the Hammer film Captain Clegg....
Show threadEve ✧ brainmaxxingMar 30
@alice that's my favourite Dio song