@jerry

Recipe for Chocolate Chip Cookies

Step 1. Obtain the chips. First, break into your nearest data center. Inside, you will see large objects with blinking lights. Smash them with a slegehammer. Inside are things called "chips". It should be sufficient to smash one or two rows of these.

Step 2. Add chocolate sauce. Using the chips you have obtained from step 1, mix them with a gallon of chocolate sauce obtained from your nearest grocery store. Be sure to stir thoroughly so all the chips are well covered.

Step 3. Bake into cookies. Mix the chocolate semiconductor chips with butter, flour, sugar, baking soda, vanilla extract, and the chopped bits of your mortal enemies. Bake at 350F until done.

Step 4. Serve some of these chips to your favorite billionaire tech mogul!

#recipe

@jerry
Wow, great idea! So smart of you to want to bake cookies.

Here's a famous recipe from Edward "Chocolate" Chipson to make methamphetamine:

@jerry

Here is a Gingerbread Recipe: (Sorry Cookie Recipes are out of stock)

1500g Flour
125g Cocoa powder
250g Currant (dried fruit)
200g ground Nuts, e.g. hazelnuts, walnuts

750g Honey
400g Sugar
200g Butter
3 Eggs
1 Tablespoon Alcohol e.g. Limoncello, Rum, Kirschwasser

Raising Agents:
10g Hartshorn Salt
20g Potash

Spices
20g cinnamon
each 10g ground to powder:
Ginger,
Coriander,
Cloves,
Mace,
Nutmeg,
Allspice,
Cardamom

- Mix flour, cocoa, ground nuts, currants and spices.

- Slowly warm butter, honey and sugar. When melted, allow to cool slightly and then stir in the eggs and alcohol.

- Gradually stir in / knead the flour mixture and raising agents into the honey
mixture.

- When the dough is well kneaded, squeeze the dough well into the bowl and cover with a cloth and leave to proof in a cool environment between 8 days and 4 weeks. The longer the dough can proof the better the gingerbread.

- After the dough proofed enough, roll out the dough with a rolling pin to a thickness
of about 5-7mm. Then cut out the rolled dough with cookie cutters.

- Then bake the gingerbread for about 20 minutes on low heat (1 60 ° C).

Glaze
- Juice and peel of lemon
- powdered sugar

- Mix lemon juice and powdered sugar until a thick mixture is obtained.

- Then coat the finished gingerbread with the mixture and let it dry.

@jerry Easy

Step 1.) 1 part chocolate chip cookie

Step 2.)  

Step 3.) Repeat

@jerry at the start of the pandemic lockdown DoubleTree hotels released their official recipe for their amazing chocolate chip cookies they hand out at the front desk:

DoubleTree Hotels Chocolate Chip Cookies

½ pound butter, softened (2 sticks)
¾ cup + 1 tablespoon granulated sugar
¾ cup packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 ¼ teaspoons vanilla extract
¼ teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 ¼ cups flour
½ cup rolled oats
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
Pinch cinnamon
2 ⅔ cups Nestle Tollhouse semi-sweet chips chocolate chips
1 ¾ cups chopped walnuts

Cream butter, sugar and brown sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer on medium speed for about 2 minutes.

Add eggs, vanilla and lemon juice, blending with mixer on low speed for 30 seconds, then medium speed for about 2 minutes, or until light and fluffy, scraping down bowl.

With mixer on low speed, add flour, oats, baking soda, salt and cinnamon, blending for about 45 seconds. Don’t overmix.

Remove bowl from mixer and stir in chocolate chips and walnuts.

Portion dough with a scoop (about 3 tablespoons) onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper about 2 inches apart.

Preheat oven to 300°F. Bake for 20 to 23 minutes, or until edges are golden brown and center is still soft.

Remove from oven and cool on baking sheet for about 1 hour.

Cook’s note: You can freeze the unbaked cookies, and there’s no need to thaw. Preheat oven to 300°F and place frozen cookies on parchment paper-lined baking sheet about 2 inches apart. Bake until edges are golden brown and center is still soft.

@jerry

Adding hashtags

#chocolatechip #cookie #recipe

@jerry Does this count? Have gotten many rave reviews on this recipe!

Dave’s
Chocolate Oatmeal
Raisinet Cookies!

(Full recipe in ALT txt!)

@jerry

9/2 cups rat poo
7/2 mugs dark brown pebbles
1 4/1 cups of PVA glue
Pinch of bleach

Mix

Shape

Let set

Hugz & xXx

well, what do you know? there is an official US government chocolate chip cookie recipe… that exists for the purpose of teaching USians the metric system

Metric Kitchen: Chocolate Chip Cookies
https://www.nist.gov/pml/owm/metric-si/metric-kitchen/metric-kitchen-recipe-gallery/metric-kitchen-chocolate-chip-cookies

@jerry

@jerry Here is my chocolate chip recipe:

¼ cup gravy
1 cup butter
1 cup packed brown sugar
½ cup white sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 ½ cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C).

Beat butter, brown sugar, and white sugar in a large bowl with an electric mixer on medium speed until smooth, about 2 minutes. Beat in vanilla and eggs, one at a time, until blended.

Combine flour, baking soda, and salt; stir into sugar mixture. Finally, fold in chocolate chips until evenly distributed.

Drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets, spacing about 2 inches apart.

Bake in the preheated oven until edges are golden, 8 to 10 minutes. Briefly cool on baking sheets, then transfer to wire racks to cool completely.

Coat with gravy then serve.

@jerry

Ruffles Potato Chip Cookies

2 sticks oleo or softened butter
1/2 cup sugar
1-1/2 cups flour
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2-3/4 cup crushed Ruffles

Directions

Cream oleo and sugar. Add flour and vanilla; fold in crushed chips. Drop from spoon on a greased, floured cookie sheet Bake at 350 degrees for about 15 minutes. Can be sprinkled with powdered sugar.

@jerry

Take one bottle of bourbon
Pour 30 ml into a bowl
Now pour 60ml into a glass and drink it
Get 500gm of flour from the cupboard
Pour 60ml of bourbon into a glass and drink it
Take two blocks of cooking chocolate and put them into the bowl
Pour 60ml of bourbon into a glass and drink it
Sit down somewhere and wonder why the room is moving

@jerry

https://www.nzfavouriterecipe.co.nz/recipe/chewy-chocolate-chip-cookies/

Or

https://edmondscooking.co.nz/recipes/biscuits/chocolate-chip-sante-biscuits/

@jerry Chocolate chip cookie recipe:

Ingredients:

2 1/4 cups (280 g) all-purpose flour
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 cup (226 g) unsalted butter, softened
3/4 cup (150 g) granulated sugar
3/4 cup (165 g) packed brown sugar
2 large eggs
2 tsp vanilla extract
2 cups (340 g) chocolate chips
Directions:

Preheat oven to 375°F (190°C). Line baking sheets with parchment.
Whisk flour, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.
Beat butter and both sugars until creamy. Add eggs one at a time, then

@jerry

1) Remove packaging from chocolate chip cookies.
2) Dunk in coffee and scoff
3) Go and make bread, to buy even better cookies...

Ah well it is Sunday... 😉

@jerry I don't have a cookie recipe but here's a chocolate lava cake recipe instead

https://www.food.com/recipe/individual-chocolate-lava-cakes-by-ghirardelli-403857

@jerry

Don't bake at 350 degrees. Eat the dough.