NickJan 30
How I plan to spend the weekend, on the Rottentomatoes page for #Melania. #USpol
Show threadNickJan 30
It begins. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 30
I don’t know who the CEO of RottenTomatoes is, but I hope they’re safely hidden away in a secret bunker somewhere. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 30
lol. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 30
The only film ever made where every member of the crew, other than Brett Ratner, is credited as “Alan Smithee”. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 30
Guardian and Independent #Melania #USpol
Show threadNick
The Evening Standard has given it four (4) stars. Reminder that the Standard is a weekly freesheet owned by a Russian oligarch whose father was a KGB agent #Melania #USpol
Jan 30 at 6:55pmWeb
Show threadNickJan 30
Variety, Daily Beast. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 30
Literally just the Standard. Pricks. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31
That’s the stuff. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31
The Wrap, Decider (down to 7% now) #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31

The Decider review is worth reading #Melania #USpol

https://decider.com/2026/01/30/melania-trump-documentary-movie-review/

Show threadNickJan 31
Sure, Jan. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31
And everyone in the theatre stood up and applauded and a pregnant woman immediately gave birth and the baby came out applauding and then all the seats in the theatre came to life so they could applaud too and the tips of my fingers grew little hands of their own so they could applaud too and they themselves grew little hands on the tip of each tiny finger and we applauded and applauded and applauded until someone stopped applauding and they were dragged away and shot #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31
The Irish Times #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31

You gotta pump those numbers down those are rookie numbers.

Reminder that this would literally be 0% but for Evgeny Lebedev’s Standard. #Melania #USpol

Show threadNickJan 31
Fuck me, the Standard has actually REVISED ITS REVIEW, knocked a star off the original four-star rating, and is corncobbing wildly. Look at this shit. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31
#Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31
One of those insightful audience reviews from someone who HASN’T BEEN TO THE CINEMA IN A DECADE. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31
Imagine nothing compelling you to go out to the cinema for 10 years but being dragged from your cinematic coffin by the fucking #Melania documentary, Jesus Christ. This fandom is both unhinged and cringe as anything. #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31
Please note that this review is being written by a creative: writer, pianist, singer,
perfectionist, lover of classical music and art. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31
Can you provide some more examples of “a classical art” please Monique? #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickJan 31

A second positive review has hit the #Melania rottentomatoes rating. It’s by the Epoch Times. What the fuck is the Epoch Times, you ask? Well…

Also, lol, “warmth and compassion”, and they chose that photo.

#USpol

Show threadNickJan 31

In case you think this is a purely political division, it‘s worth noting that even a shallow right wing rag with a readership of ancient bigots like the Daily Express gave #Melania a negative review.

#USpol

Show threadNickJan 31

The audience really enjoyed the scenes of #Melania filmed with a tiny surgical camera.

#USpol

Show threadNickJan 31
One (brown) star from Empire. #Melania #USpol
Show threadNickFeb 1

I’m non-biased: I don’t have an opinion on fascism and genocide, and I willingly paid money to watch a dull documentary about a fascist’s moll picking an outfit.

Also “Quincy”: “pretty good” is not a five star rating. #Melania #USpol

Show threadCuriousJan 31
@Nickiquote [buys ticket to Rush Hour 3]
Show threadDavid CohenJan 31
@Nickiquote Chef’s kiss.
Show threadNickJan 31

@Nickiquote

peaks (sic) inside

🙄

Show threadNickJan 31
@ratcatcher Who knows,
maybe she contains mountains.
Show threadJaeFeb 2
@Nickiquote "Additional cinematography by Gaspar Noé"
Show threadGiflianJan 31
@Nickiquote 2 stars seems rather forgiving
Show threadfor a day, while . . . 🗽Jan 31

@Nickiquote

. . . maybe she thinks 'classic art' means 'classy cart' . . .

Show threadphraktalzJan 31

@Nickiquote

Trolling is a art.

Show threadNixanadoo and You tooJan 31
@Nickiquote what a lovely example of a chat gpt response.
Show threadMarcus Marcius MarcellusJan 31
@Nickiquote It “opens her inner sanctum”? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
Show threadNickJan 31
@marcas They’ll give any old filth a PG rating nowadays.
Show threadStoneface VimesJan 31
@marcas @Nickiquote well I for one would rather not see her inner sanctum thank you very much. Some things should remain concealed. I mean, eeeuuw!😉
Show threadPer Haps ✅✔✓☑Jan 31
@Nickiquote the sycophants, they yearn for the boots.
Show threadJordi (Tubal Hippy)Jan 31

@Nickiquote

Okay, but the real question is have is...

IS IT KAREN OR KATHY PICK ONE

Show threadNickJan 31
@Jorsh KathGPT.
Show thread3Jane Tessier AshpoolJan 31
@Nickiquote “refined without artifice” suggests a lack of sophistication in the viewer imo
Show threadfor a day, while . . . 🗽Jan 31

@Nickiquote

perfect, sure, but how I keep punching the 'see less' button at the bottom . . .

Show threadCrowjaneJan 31

@Nickiquote
The reviewers name is Karen, nuff said.

(Apologies to all the nice Karen’s out there, we know you’re out there and we love you for bucking the trend)

Show threadDavid CohenJan 31
@Nickiquote ‘opens her inner sanctum’ - Ratner is gonna Ratner
Show threadNicovel0 🍉Jan 31
@Nickiquote the “it has been a long time…” line shows they are happy to ignore Michelle Obama, and that is maybe the most revealing sentence in the whole review.
Show threadAnneHFeb 2
@Nickiquote 😂😂😂
Show threadKBJan 31
@Nickiquote
Anyone who uses this as her Xitter avatar tells you exactly how much credibility you should give to her review of a puff piece “documentary” about the wife of a lying, scheming, vengeful, bullying convicted felon, court adjudicated rapist and close friend of paedophile Jeffrey Epstein; said wife having only migrated to the USA from Slovenia to find a rich husband—regardless of age or lack of human qualities—and thereby to get a visa.
Show threaddonJan 31
@Nickiquote I mean, it helped them overcome their incel agoraphobia.
Show threadEleanorJan 31
@Nickiquote Not so much a review as a hostage video. Blink twice if you need us to come and get you.
Show threadCubeRootOfTrueJan 31
@eleanorrees @Nickiquote
I gave up after "I don't care, do you?"
No, I don't
Show threadAethelstanJan 31
@Nickiquote ugh. Just like the daily show skit with Ronnie Chieng.
Show threadDavid CohenJan 31
@Nickiquote Is it the anxiety and shame that’s making the Standard nibble at its paws?
Show threadBytebro 🇬🇧 🇺🇦 🇬🇱Jan 31

@Nickiquote

Did you see the CraigsList thing where people were being offered $50 to go to that movie, *and not leave their seat for the duration*?! Sheesh! It MUST be worse than even I can imagine...

Show threadInnocuous In Innisfil Has MovedJan 31

@Nickiquote

Best quote I saw, and I wish I could credit the author but I couldn't find the original post...

"If they showed this film on an airplane, people would still walk out..."

Show threadScary AustinJan 31

@Nickiquote

Show threadBrad RosenheimJan 31
@Nickiquote Hilarious.
Show threadAM💙🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿Jan 31
@Nickiquote
Yeah and heavenly angels sang🤮
Show threadDavid CohenJan 31
@Nickiquote The review sounds less like a cinema showing and more like a ‘rally’
Show threadChrisJan 31
@Nickiquote original review ended "can I have my $50 now please?"
Show threadChrisJan 31
@Nickiquote also a technical point - everybody clapping in an audience of 1 person isn't hard to achieve
Show threadkat donegan 🇵🇸✊Jan 31
@Nickiquote (*home theatre, seating for one)
Show threadDavid CohenJan 30
@Nickiquote Surely with the fine tradition of independent editorial staffing in journalism these factors are irrelevant? 😉
Show threadNickJan 30
@davidbcohen I was just noting that the Standard doesn’t even have a permanent editor these days.
Show threadDavid CohenJan 30
@Nickiquote I think that’s what the Russian oligarch does as a side hustle
Show threadсерафими многоꙮчитїиJan 30
@Nickiquote one of the select few films where stars overtake ticket sales!