Mastodawn

amy tech (bones)May 21, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick (fwiw it resonated with me a fair amount)

Emily Moran Barwick [archived]May 21, 2025

@amy I’m never sure what to say when something like this resonates with someone. I mean, I’m always encouraged when anything I put out there connects with someone. I also am sorry that this is a thing you resonate with. It’s a big bag of bummer town. But I also know I’m not alone in it. And that does make a difference. And I hope it does for other people too.

amy tech (bones)May 22, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick it does help :) And I really appreciate your writing style.

@amy aww thank you! I was (and am) really nervous about this one. For many reasons…but one is which was it doesn’t meet whatever weird-ass self-imposed bar of “writing style”/caliber I felt I’d set with my website posts thus far. (So. Much. Angst.) Really appreciate your appreciation!

nannnsss🌱🏴May 21, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick hugs ❤️ (or fist bump, or slight head nod... Whatever feels right)

Emily Moran Barwick [archived]May 21, 2025

@nannnsss or perhaps a big-ass mutual middle finger (or collective throat punch?) to the universe in solidarity…🙃

nannnsss🌱🏴May 21, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick Abso-fuckin-lutely yes.

Kristell L.May 22, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick Almost cried when I read this. I feel it on so many levels. My chronic pain is far from the most disabling thing I have (I'd say most days are a 2-3), but it's still exhausting. Plus a lot of it relates well to MH struggles.
I very much appreciate this post, along with all of your posts

@klymilark Thank you for sharing this with me. I teared up reading your message…that “I get it” connection. And yes…it can apply to so many things. I’d wanted this piece to be more. I had planned to include mental health and other issues. For it to be…more. But it came out as it did, through an ongoing pain flare up. And I’m letting it into the world as it is.

I’m encouraged that you still felt it could be applied to more. I’m also sorry you could relate, given the subject. 💜

Bibi May 22, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick I cried reading your post. Because sometimes there is only pain and darkness... 🖤 Can't shut my mouth properly today because my teeth shifted so much. Will be hard work to relax it enough to be able to eat.

@lebeninbunt I’m so sorry to hear what you’re dealing with. And I do wish I could take it all away. It’s never fair. And it means we have to fight so hard to even get to a “baseline” of semi-functionality. My heart hurts for all the lost joy, the lost…us. For all we could be and could do if free of this. But we are here as we are. And sometimes it just fucking sucks and that’s all we have in the moment. I’m there with you, at least. 💜

Evan Light May 22, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic I'm sorry that you hurt 🫂. My nervous system has been wrecking me for months now.

Late-diagnosed with trauma here. You?

I'm working on an app that may help me—at least early prototypes are showing some promise. If it works, I'm going to turn it into a product and keep it as affordable as I can. Currently unemployed here and could use the income! 🤞 that I can help myself come to terms with being autistic and then, just maybe, others like you.

In that: thank you for sharing! You just gave me the motivation to get the nose back to the grindstone today!

Best wishes for relating to your body. It's a struggle but it's a worthy struggle. 💜

@elight Thank you so much. I do think there is, of course, deep links between trauma and physical pain. Not that it accounts for all of it…but I know my trauma has nested itself in my very sinews.

Unfortunately this can also be used as an “it’s all in your head” approach, which I find dismissive and problematic (which is not what you’re saying!)

Awesome that you’re working on an app to help people!

@actuallyautistic

Evan Light May 22, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic Not a doctor so can't speak to whether there is a natively physical component. However, emotions are felt in the body physically; it's why we call them "feelings". Neurological studies demonstrate this.

My hope is to help with identifying how it hurts, maybe where it hurts, and revealing the correlates of why it hurts. With knowledge comes (maybe some?) power.

Bernie Luckily Does It May 23, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic

Quote:
At my core, I'm still the little five-year-old who cried herself to sleep thinking of all the injustices and suffering in this world—asking to take it all into her tiny little body if it would bring relief to everyone else.

Relatable. So very relatable. And not just to me. One of my mini mes is this way too.

Emily Moran Barwick [archived]May 23, 2025

@BernieDoesIt

Yet further examples of how many #ActuallyAutistic people are hyper-empathetic to a debilitating degree…

…and how perversely absurd and damaging the conception that “#Autistic people lack empathy” has been and continues to be…

@actuallyautistic

Bernie Luckily Does It May 23, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic I could say I don't feel like the state of the world is my fault, but I'd be lying.

Lynn McAlister UE

May 23, 2025

@BernieDoesIt @EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic I've never felt that it was my fault, but I have painfully grieved for people in the news, even as an adult.

@lmgenealogy @EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic I know it's not my fault. It just doesn't feel that way. I feel like if I had lived my life differently maybe things would be better. I know that's very unlikely.

Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama May 24, 2025

@BernieDoesIt @lmgenealogy @EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic
.
I didn't think it was my fault, but the problems seemed obvious, I thought I could figure it out for everybody 🙄

@punishmenthurts @lmgenealogy @EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic Some people like the problems, unfortunately.

Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama May 24, 2025

@BernieDoesIt @lmgenealogy @EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic
.
yeah 💜

Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama May 23, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic
.
everything is upside down and backwards in the Allistic cult of punishment, good is bad, you make people good by treating them bad, it's the opposite of real life and evolution, and so empathy is upside down too, the empathy they want is empathy for them "having to," suppress their natural empathy and "do the hard thing," what they call the "grown up thing," - they want empathy for the pain of "being grown up," and "having to" be "cruel to be kind."
.
I swear to gawd. We, "lack empathy," if we don't feel sorry for them for "having to," be cruel.

Goiterzan/Amygdalai Lama May 23, 2025

@EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic
.
so we complain about ABA, we lack empathy for the Tylenol moms and the practitioners, if you try to save the trees, you lack empathy for the loggers
.
because deforesting the world is the grown up thing to do

https://neuroclastic.com/autistic-people-care-too-much-research-says/

@EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic article on point

Autistic People Care Too Much, Research Says

A research article concluded that autistic people cared too much about others, citing inflexibility to be an issue by following moral code even when individual gains are high. In my personal opinio…

NeuroClastic

@filmfreak75 @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic

Jax UK May 24, 2025

This is explains so much! I’ve recently posted about how I’m struggling with the direction my employer is going in terms of partnering with a fossil fuel giant and encouraging the use of AI. I am so angry and sad about it and looking for another job. I’m dangerously close to lashing out and rage quitting, and feel completely alone and unheard. Thank you for sharing this!

Emily Moran Barwick [archived]May 24, 2025

@filmfreak75

Definitely my life experience! I have “missed” many “opportunities” to advance with a career, financially, or even with the “online reach” of the nonprofit I formed because I refuse to compromise my ethics.

Even when it comes to people I disagree with or even people who have outright wronged me—I still cannot act in any way but what is just.

Must be the #Autism “at fault”, you guys…🙃

#ActuallyAutistic

@BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic

@EmilyMoranBarwick @filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic The world needs more people like you.

Emily Moran Barwick [archived]May 24, 2025

@BernieDoesIt

😊 I think the world needs more of “us”—the very people it marginalizes , gaslights, pathologizes, oppresses, and otherwise grinds under its boot.

@filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic

@EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @filmfreak75 @actuallyautistic

Dziadek May 24, 2025

Because our "less than" can often be "more than." I learned yesterday that GCHQ (UK intelligence, cyber, and security agency ) employs seven times as many #neurodivergent people as the population average. And one fav fact@ People who are dyslexic can find patterns in enormous chunks of text (like code, phone numbers, texts) precisely because it's hard for them to discern all the words and understand the meaning.

@filmfreak75 @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic I've only read a paragraph thus far - it points out what I already knew. Autistic people are more likely to be exactly who they show themselves to be in public. Everyone has secrets, sure... But if an autist seems kind and caring in public, it's unlikely they'll stab me in the back months later. If they're a shit person, and some are, you'll know it fast.

Kevin Davy May 24, 2025

@hellomiakoda @filmfreak75 @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic
What you see is what you get. Mostly, because not only don't we understand being performative, but it is not how we communicate.

Miakoda

May 24, 2025

@pathfinder @filmfreak75 @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic This is why I get fired from sales jobs so fast. I CAN'T pretend to be excited about a product. If it's not in my special interest, or a tool that changed my life, I won't be able to muster enough of a shit about it to meet corpo standards. ....and if I dislike the product, there is 0 hope. I cannot upsell, and that's a deficit I actually have some pride in. Yeah, no, you do not need the security package offered.

@pathfinder @hellomiakoda @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic performative has been my word of the year for the past 2 years since my workplace is riddled by it

Kevin Davy May 24, 2025

@filmfreak75 @hellomiakoda @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic
Most NT communication is riddled with it, mostly for bonding purposes. But, it is always prone to going toxic.

@pathfinder @hellomiakoda @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic the NTs at work talk in riddles to maintain power and control of every situation so they can never be in the wrong

Miakoda

May 24, 2025

@filmfreak75 @pathfinder @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic That insistance in "never being wrong" is weird. I don't need to be right, I need to be correct. If you bring me from incorrect to correct, this is in line with my goal and I am pleased and appreciative.

@hellomiakoda @pathfinder @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic for mine correct is whatever they decide it is at any given moment

Lance, Enjoying Copious Pollen May 24, 2025

@filmfreak75 @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic This confirms my experience as an autistic person.

The only times many NT people care about doing the right thing by others at work is when they're completing their annual ethics training.

@filmfreak75 @EmilyMoranBarwick @BernieDoesIt @actuallyautistic

Dziadek May 24, 2025

I'm not sure I like the idea that the headline says "too much," as if it's a bad thing. I would argue that I care just the right amount (and could care more) and act on principle.

@DziadekMick @filmfreak75 @EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic There's some nuance there. The author obviously doesn't think it's too much, but they're quoting someone who does.

@BernieDoesIt @filmfreak75 @EmilyMoranBarwick @actuallyautistic

Dziadek May 24, 2025

They've risked the reader taking away that it's a criticism.

@DziadekMick @filmfreak75 @EmilyMoranBarwick That's fair.