Reflective Geek
Girl on the NetIDEA: extrovert train carriages. Like those ‘chat to me’ benches, but a whole carriage of the train dedicated to people who wanna talk rather than just read a book or listen to music (through headphones, of course) and enjoy the scenery. Introverts can drop their extrovert mates off in those carriages so they have people to chat to, and extroverts will leave us alone to enjoy our quiet time.
Extroverts do this ‘I’ll keep you company!’ thing at really distressing times imho. Like, just as I’ve managed to extricate myself from the group and I’m getting ready to go out for a walk, someone will go ‘I’ll come with you!’. Oh noooo I’m only walking to get AWAY from people! Or I say I’m nipping to the shops or out for a vape ‘I’ll keep you company!’ - I don’t WANT company that’s why I’ve found an excuse to go away!
When I was working I’d get excited about lunch breaks on a nice day: plan which bench I’d head for in the park, look forward to the specific Tesco Meal Deal sandwich I’d eat on it and the book I’d read while there. Then half the time some random colleague would pop up at last minute to ‘keep me company’, and I’d miss out on my plan. Instead I had to TALK to a COLLEAGUE for the WHOLE OF LUNCH. And that’s basically work. Extroverts stole my lunch breaks.
Graham Downs@girlonthenet I can probably count on one hand the number of "proper" lunch breaks I've taken in my 26 years of working. I've never liked them, I've always felt they were a waste of time, and I've pushed back every time I've worked at a company that's tried to force me to get up from my desk and go somewhere else to eat.
It's just not me. I'd rather just munch down a sandwich at my desk and get on with it. Getting up and taking a proper "lunch break" is just such a disruption in my life. Plus I've found that when I have gone somewhere over lunch, I find it very difficult to get back into "work mode" upon my return (not to mention how much productivity we lose by people returning late from lunch).
YMMV, of course. That's just me. :-)
Crocodile Slattern@girlonthenet this used to happen all the time to me. Sit in the break room reading a book and then it comes, "what are you reading then?" and then I'd realise there was no way out and I wasn't going to get to read it. It was a library job as well so we were talking to strangers all shift.
@tobyleaf gutting, you have my sympathies 😢
samiamsam
Final Round Player 😷🇪🇺🍸@girlonthenet Sounds like you need this.
Jacob Something@girlonthenet I used to have a colleague I went on lunch breaks with, and we had a deal: We each bring our books. And we read the whole time. No word was spoken.
Ms. Denie@jkanev @girlonthenet we also need a word for "people you can be quiet with"
Interpipes 💙@girlonthenet I still feel some kind of giddy way about the memory of the first time I went to a restaurant for a sit down lunch on my own with the paper and the accompanying realisation that I could actually do this whenever the hell I felt like it.
Abhiram@girlonthenet and to make matters worse, THEY TALK TO YOU WHEN YOU HAVE HEADPHONES ON
econads@axel @girlonthenet can't you just keep the headphones in?
@econads @girlonthenet You can, yes.
But then you're the asshole for refusing to engage and people get really high school about it. 
But then you're the asshole for refusing to engage and people get really high school about it.
@axel @girlonthenet
Aww. Life is hard at times. :-(
Learning to stand up for yourself takes time, but it's often not as bad as you think it's going to be..
Of course I don't know your situation so sorry if I'm coming across patronising.
Aww. Life is hard at times. :-(
Learning to stand up for yourself takes time, but it's often not as bad as you think it's going to be..
Of course I don't know your situation so sorry if I'm coming across patronising.
Naiyer@girlonthenet Well, you can always don a pair of headphones and pretend you are listening to something. Works well for me but yeah, it is a chore.
i eat in my car
coldclimate@girlonthenet some sort of internationally recognised symbol for "enjoying quiet time" would be great. A hat you pop on and people quietly just fuck off. I wish hats suited me.
Piers Cawley@coldclimate @girlonthenet the way to get hats to suit you is to keep wearing the bloody things until you stop being self-conscious about wearing a hat. It's a long road.
Stella C 🇨🇦@girlonthenet Why didn't you say - I need some alone time so thanks but no.
Jay@SCampbell @girlonthenet Because 98% of the time, even if they claim they understand, extroverts take this as an insult, that they aren’t good enough company for others to want them around, and a colleague’s resentment is not fun to navigate in a workplace.
@WhiteCatTamer @girlonthenet I don't get it but everyone sees the world a little differently
Fulleraaron@girlonthenet I read somewhere that one of life's sadnesses is that introverts understand extroverts better than thr other way round.
One of my nicest experiences at one job was when an extrovert colleague thanked me for coming with her on her sandwich run one lunchtime because she recognised my sacrifice of solitude. (She was a good egg, and worth it.)
follerflausen@girlonthenet In german trains you can select the „silent area“. You could say all other areas of the train are extroverts territory.
@follerflausen @girlonthenet Never encountered those areas, sounds like a great idea. Are they only in ICEs?
Also the announcements "Welcome to our train to..." are way more distracting than useful.
Also the announcements "Welcome to our train to..." are way more distracting than useful.
Andreas D.
naught101@theandi0815 @talinx @follerflausen @girlonthenet
Sydney also has these! Approximately half the carriages. You're allowed to have muted conversations, but not loud convos or music. It works surprisingly well. I use different carriages on different days, depending how I'm feeling.
@talinx @girlonthenet Yeah, ICEs have it. And unfortunately you hear the announcements there, too.
DJDarren@girlonthenet Extrovert crèches is a great idea.
Nvram【 Fuck FNSEA era 】@girlonthenet This actually exists in low-cost SNCF trains (Ouigo brand).
The main goal is to isolate families with children though
The main goal is to isolate families with children though
Darryl RammI'd like a voting system in the introvert carriages that can detach the extrovert carriage and let it roll into a siding.
Maaike@girlonthenet hah!! Let's fantasize about this further. What would the ratio of carriage types be?
Do you think the extroverts are in the majority?
ʙᴇɴ ᴄᴏᴛᴛᴇяɪʟʟ@girlonthenet @Lazarou Wish I could just start talking to people. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0013zmp/episodes/player
cuan_knaggs@girlonthenet the carriage may need minders though. so when you drop your extrovert off, you let the minder know which stop they need to get off at and the minder can hurd them out in time
New Views@girlonthenet I'm an introvert but nothing much bothers me. I manage to always find alone time.
Hola mundo@girlonthenet creo k lo mejor es convivir en armonía pero es difícil eso implica autogestion
Don Raved Tips@girlonthenet don't extroverts want to chat to introverts tho
@girlonthenet we have designated "quiet" train carriages, and they are overwhelmingly a failure. People ignore the "quiet" designation during rush hour, and when it's not rush hour people are more likely to be calm and quiet.
Zaknafein@A_denie @girlonthenet there's an expression in Japanese (空気読めない - kuuki-yomenai) which refers to the situation where someone fails to "read the air/room".
Ironically, it seems "extroverts" are less likely to read those signs (esp. body language).
(I don't see myself as an introvert, I just don't like many people)
@ElectronicAcorn @A_denie that's a delicious phrase, thank you!
@girlonthenet that is actually the default, but we do have the reverse of this idea called "quiet zone" carriages (at least in germany). the difference is you shouldn't go there with little kids or even talk on the phone - creating atmosphere where it feels really weird to even talk to your neighbour at all...
Hamish The PolarBear@girlonthenet There will always be one though, you know the type - they will insist on going to the other carriage to "bring people out of their shell" 😒
Duck Marshall 🚲@girlonthenet as an extrovert who loves introverts, I love this idea. I always feel bad when I realise I'm intruding on someone's peace because I've forgotten to ask first if they wanted a chatterbox for company!
Kim@girlonthenet Similarly, dedicated carriages for drunken sportsball fans.
@girlonthenet Behind the engine though, so that no one else has to pass through it right? and just in front of the buffet car, so that we don't have to pass through their car to get to the grub and they don't have to pass through ours to get to the food :)
@girlonthenet Also, can we make a rule that anyone talking loudly on their phones, the kind of volume where the person on the other end doesn't actually need a phone to hear them, can we throw those people in the chat carage please?
Andre Louis@ednun_p @girlonthenet I think *under* the carriage is better...
@FreakyFwoof @girlonthenet I have no objection to this idea.
@ednun_p @girlonthenet There needs to be a Triple L, A Legal Loud Limit that if you go over it for more than 90 seconds, you get fined.
If you happen to be someone who sneezes loudly for example, that's likely to exceed the limit so no fine, but a loud phone call, no. You're done. Leave the train immediately.
If you happen to be someone who sneezes loudly for example, that's likely to exceed the limit so no fine, but a loud phone call, no. You're done. Leave the train immediately.
@girlonthenet That'd be a fun time. I'd get to talk with a whole bunch of people and hopefully not eat crappy train food in the process unless I got business class which I would honestly.
lemgandi@girlonthenet Heh! I toggle between the two. I'd deffo go into that car sometimes, and quietly sit others. Most of the time on public transport I'm quietly reading a book tho. I may be extrovert-inclined, but I try very hard to be a gentleman.
The Witch of Crow Briar@girlonthenet This is a FANTASTIC idea!! *hand on earpiece* wait, I’m getting told that carriage *wouldn’t* be disconnected from the rest of the train before it leaves?? That can’t be true 😅