phone calls are all spam. emails are all spam. text messages are all spam. if you want to reach me, pin a note to my door with a jeweled dagger or don't waste my time.
@VeryBadLlama How about one pinned to your pillow?
@VeryBadLlama - Notes which use daggers without jewels are also spam.
@VeryBadLlama It's kind of obvious that you're a paid shill for the jeweled dagger industry.
@jik @VeryBadLlama ...or desperate in their search of that one particular jeweled dagger and, since there have been no news reports of mass disappearances of white cats or great orange clouds in the shape of a gecko's head, quite aware that whoever has the dagger is not at all aware of its power, so hoping against hope it would just literally turn up at their door...
@VeryBadLlama And it must include your family's crest embossed in wax
@johne @VeryBadLlama To be fair digital signatures provide this service, its just that the digital equivalent of melting a candle, finding the little stamp and not making a mess is just too much faff when I only want to say thanks.
@VeryBadLlama There is a 95 theses / Jay Z joke there but I’m coming up blank.
@VeryBadLlama @briankrebs If you want to debate me, write out your arguments and nail them to the cathedral door like a grownup.
@VeryBadLlama brb starting an unsolicited bulk dagger company
@VeryBadLlama Sounds like you're going to love my new venture, jeweled-daggers-as-a-service, on the blockchain.
@VeryBadLlama
Many apologisings. Regret lack of jewelled daggers. Will befeathered spears do?
@VeryBadLlama They're working on a drone for that.
@VeryBadLlama is this just a way to expand your jeweled dagger collection?
@VeryBadLlama Conversations are spam!
@VeryBadLlama I also accept messenger animals with little notes affixed to a paw or foot with a ribbon.
@VeryBadLlama I can only be reached by whispering in a primordial language across the valley winds
@VeryBadLlama Wait — you open your door to look for notes?
@VeryBadLlama Would you settle for mystical rune carved in your door. It's a very special one, it's ancient elvish for "your car warranty is about to expire."
@VeryBadLlama Please post your address.
@VeryBadLlama by this logic I declare having friends and family who care and like to chat with you :SPAM!

@osfast @VeryBadLlama

howe do you get them to answer your texts tho

@VeryBadLlama nah you're really weird...
you should use birds instead
@VeryBadLlama I'm only available via Pictochat
@VeryBadLlama [returning to my quarters to find dozens of messages all pinned to the door with jeweled daggers]
@VeryBadLlama Does it need to written on the back of a tarot card?

@VeryBadLlama

Please leave a message with the swamp creature and they can bring it to me in my bog house. Thank you.

@VeryBadLlama This will be the only way I'm responding in 2024😂
@VeryBadLlama Now it is very important to filter information. You don’t download everything onto your computer, it’s chaotic. In the same way, all other information must be filtered
@VeryBadLlama
I'll have to pass that on to my HOA since they tend to use boring ol' painter's tape while I think I'm totally worth a jeweled dagger. 😜
@VeryBadLlama Runes scratched in the door surface?