Mar 12, 2023 - Day 71 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 77

Game: Monster Slayers
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Mar 24, 2017
Library Date: Nov 3, 2022
Unplayed: 129d (4m9d)
Playtime: 39m

Monster Slayers is a roguelike deck builder, and I actually went back through my emails hoping I hadn't paid for it.

Turns out it was a freebie with a Fanatical order, so I don't have to go back in time to ask past me what I was thinking.

It's just a middling deck builder with nothing that made me want to keep playing. It's not bad, it's not good, it just is. Maybe it was revolutionary back in 2017, but there are just so many better options now.

Monster Slayers?:

2: Meh

#MonsterSlayers #DeckBuilder #Roguelike #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 13, 2023 - Day 72 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 78

Game: Citizen Sleeper
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: May 6, 2022
Library Date: Dec 24, 2022
Unplayed: 79d (2m17d)
Playtime: 42m

Citizen Sleeper is an RPG.

It's just unlike other RPGs I've played, and I don't know whether that's because of a lack of experience on my part, or whether Citizen Sleeper is just unique.

You are synth who's gone rogue from the corporation that apparently now owns the human body you signed over to them. A consciousness bound to a synthetic body.

Having stowed away on a ship, you now find yourself on a space station where you need to try and stay alive, as without regular chems from the corporation, your synthetic body will reject your bio-organic components.

There's no third person or first person views here. The station is a scrollable map, where you can interact with various locations, and each day you get a literal "roll of the dice", up to six dice you can spend on different things to try and survive and build a life.

I might even stream it for a while later today, if I can get my streaming setup running properly, because Citizen Sleeper is:

4: Good

#CitizenSleeper #RPG #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 14, 2023 - Day 73 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 79

Game: I Am Bread
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: April 10, 2015
Library Date: Mar 14, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 32m

This is a game like no other.

I suppose it's an RPG.

The role you're playing is that of a sentient piece of bread, trying to find a heat source to become toast.

No, you're not high, that's the game.

You're not an anthropomorphic piece of bread, either.

Just a piece of bread that flops around from side to side, and end to end, grabbing and climbing things, to reach your goal of becoming... toast.

My word, this is a weird game. I Am Bread is...:

3: OK

#IAmBread #RPG #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 15, 2023 - Day 74 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 80

Game: Mini Ninjas
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Oct 9, 2009
Library Date: May 1, 2018
Unplayed: 1780d (4y10m15d)
Playtime: 19m

The 15th was my birthday, and while I played this on my birthday, I spent the evening with my family, so the review is much later than I planned.

Mini Ninjas is 13 years old, and feels like a 13 year old game; while it plays at full 2K resolution, it just feels kind of empty, and a little frustrating.

It's a third person action-adventure game in which you play... mini ninjas. You're the last remaining ninjas in the dojo, sent out in desperation to find out what happened to all of the other ninjas sent out to investigate strange events.

Mini Ninjas is just barely:

3: OK

#MiniNinjas #ActionAdventure #ThirdPerson #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 16, 2023 - Day 75 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 81

Game: Saints Row: Gat Out Of Hell
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Jan 23, 2015
Library Date: Sep 7, 2020
Unplayed: 921d (2y6m10d)
Playtime: 22m

I appear to have possibly broken my "no sequels" rule, because it appears that this is a sequel to Saints Row IV. (Checked before posting, and it's actually a standalone expansion).

I realised this too late, and so this is, unfortunately, my NewPlay for the 16th.

If you've played Saints Row IV, this is basically Saints Row IV in hell. Not in a "this is terrible" way, but literally the Saints Row version of hell.

It too is a third person action-adventure game, in which you play one of the characters from SR:IV, trying to rescue your boss from Lucifer, where he(!) is being married off to Satan's daughter Jezebel Morningstar, because he's so chaotic, that the devil decided he was perfect husband material.

I think my head is going to explode from writing that sentence. If you enjoyed SR:IV, you might enjoy this, if not, well... you probably won't.

Saints Row: Gat Out Of Hell is:

3: OK

#SaintsRow #GatOutOfHell #ActionAdventure #ThirdPerson #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 17, 2023 - Day 76 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 82

Game: M.A.R.S.
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Nov 21, 2021
Library Date: Nov 21, 2021
Unplayed: 481d (1y3m24d)
Playtime: 21m

M.A.R.S. is a free-to-play third person cover-shooter. I'm glad I didn't pay for it.

This is a game with gameplay that feels like it came straight from the early 2010's... which is a problem for a game that was released in 2021.

A cover shooter in a world where Gears of War, The Division, and Outriders exist, has to bring something to the table in terms of gameplay that other cover shooters don't offer.

Technically, they've done that. Poorly animated characters, sluggish movement, and utterly woeful voice acting, is definitely something I haven't seen in the other cover shooters I've played, particularly all at the same time.

Some games are so bad they're entertaining; The developers of M.A.R.S. seem to have taken one look at the mountain of mediocrity, and decided to set up base camp about three feet up.

M.A.R.S. Not even once. It's:

1: Nope

#MARS #CoverShooter #ThirdPerson #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 18, 2023 - Day 77 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 83

Game: Horatio Goes Snowboarding
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Jul 10, 2021
Library Date: Jul 23, 2021
Unplayed: 603d (1y7m23d)
Playtime: 16m

There are some games that are difficult for me to review, that are not necessarily bad games, but I feel like my wiring makes it hard to assess them properly.

Horatio Goes Snowboarding (HGS) is one of those games.
HGS is a reasonably simple score attack game. You play a blue sphere in snow gear, who goes snowboarding.

It feels like a modernised mashup of Frogger, and Ski or Die, with a DnB soundtrack.

The first part of the game (or Frogger) has you crossing several roads and trying to avoid cars, to pick up a snowboard, and then get to the choppa!

The second part (Ski or Die), has you snowboarding downhill, trying to chain slaloms, and avoid obstacles, until you reach the end... and do the same thing again, until you run out of money (crashing results in medical bills, and the snowboards must be purchased).

And that's it.

My fine motor control isn't fantastic, and I end up missing most of the slaloms, but collecting a lot of trees. The controls (L & R triggers, or the LH stick) feel a little sloppy.

I just find it a little too frustrating to remain interested, and was counting down the minutes.

I'm sorry, Horatio Goes Snowboarding. It's not you, it's me. It's just a bit:

2: Meh

#HoratioGoesSnowboarding #ScoreAttack #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 19, 2023 - Day 78 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 84

Game: Magrunner: Dark Pulse
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Jun 21, 2013
Library Date: Aug 26, 2020
Unplayed: 935d (2y6m21d)
Playtime: 47m

Magrunner: Dark Pulse is a 3D puzzle game, with a dark secret behind it that is revealed as you play the game. You must use your mag-glove to manipulate the world around you, to get from one door to the other door on each level.

Unfortunately for Magrunner, it's a victim of time. While obviously inspired by Portal, as I played, I had the sensation I'd played it before.

In the past few months, as I've played through my library, I've played Q.U.B.E. 2, Relicta, and The Entropy Centre. All of them have a similar gameplay loop, it's just that they do it better, because it has not aged well in comparison to those more recent games.

It meant that I largely found the puzzles a frustrating interruption to the storyline - which apparently "confronts the Cthulhu Mythos". After 45 minutes in-game, it didn't appear to have gotten anywhere even close to being in the same timezone as Cthulhu, let alone confronting it, which doesn't bode well.

Magrunner: Dark Pulse is just kind of:

2: Meh

#MagRunner #3D #Puzzle #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 20, 2023 - Day 79 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 85

Game: Evil West
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Nov 22, 2022
Library Date: Mar 20, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 34m

Evil West is third-person rails shooter (for want of a better term?), set in the USA's old west. This old west, however, is full of supernatural monsters that you have to kill in increasingly bloody ways.

This is not (at least so far) a game that will test your brain with complicated puzzles, and deep ethical questions.

See Jesse. See monster. See Jesse punch monster with gauntlet, or shoot monster. Rinse and repeat.

What the combat does test, however, is your coordination, and this was where I found myself struggling. I currently have it on Normal difficulty, but I'm stuck on one fight, and just can't get my timing right to beat all of the mobs.

Running around punching monsters into a mess of gore isn't usually my kind of game, but when I spent the weekend knowing there were Nazis running and transphobes saying the vilest things about trans folks just because we have the temerity to exist, sometimes punching a few monsters into piles of goop hits the spot.

The old west atmosphere and landscape is well done, and the game comes together very nicely.

Evil West is:

4: Good

#EvilWest #ThirdPerson #RailsShooter #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 21, 2023 - Day 80 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 86

Game: Filament
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Apr 23, 2020
Library Date: Mar 21, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 119m

A couple of long-awaited deals popped up on Fanatical overnight, and if I added a A$7 game to my cart, I got a potential free game.

I am a sucker. For free games, but also in general.

Filament looked interesting, and so I grabbed it, and oh no what have I done?

I put nearly two hours into this addictive little puzzle game today.

Pretty much diametrically opposed to Evil West, this is almost all puzzles all the time.

You control a small robot with a light filament that he pulls along, and the filament needs to be wrapped around a series of light-up poles, without crossing the filament, until the level exit opens, and I cannot stress how it sent floods of dopamine through my system watching everything light up.

Right now Filament is A$5.98 for the standard version, and A$7.08 including the soundtrack, and this addictive little puzzler is:

5: Excellent

#Filament #Puzzle #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 23, 2023 - Day 82 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 87

Game: Heal
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Apr 11, 2020
Library Date: Jul 27, 2022
Unplayed: 239d (7m24d)
Playtime: 17m

Heal is 2d puzzle game. You play an old man, walking through an old house, solving a series of puzzles so you can leave the room you're in, and move onto the next one.

There is no dialogue in this game, no explanatory or flavour text, just some icons you can click on, and some puzzles that were not even entirely clear were puzzles at first.

Because I went in without preparation, it took me a little bit of time to assess what it was I was supposed to do.

There are 7 levels, and in 17 minutes I'd already cleared the first two, but I didn't really enjoy the process. It wasn't really challenging, and the only reason I'll complete it is because it won't take long to do, and I'll get some trading cards I can sell off for a few cents each.

Sadly, Heal is just kind of:

2: Meh

#Heal #Puzzle #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 24, 2023 - Day 83 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 88

Game: Toybox Turbos
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Nov 12, 2014
Library Date: Dec 27, 2021
Unplayed: 452d (1y2m25d)
Playtime: 17m

The first PC racing game I played was Test Drive, some time in the late 1980's, on a PC clone, and was incredibly frustrating to steer with the keyboard.

It was still more fun than Toybox Turbos.

Toybox Turbos was released in 2014, and is still for sale on Steam in 2023, at the price of AUD$21.50.

If you have the misfortune of mistakenly buying Toybox Turbos and installing it, it will crash immediately. Turns out that if your screen is running at any resolution higher than 1280x720, it crashes.

To fix this crash, you need to change your screen resolution to 1280x720, restart the game, and in the options, set the game to the resolution you want to run it at (my screen is 2560x1440).

At this point, the game will crash. Again.

However, you can now reset your desktop resolution to your preferred resolution, and then run the game, at which point you can start playing.

This was more entertaining than the actual game.

On paper, it seems like a fun game, but for reasons probably rooted in a boozy lunch with a PM who really liked handheld camera shots in movies, instead of the camera being behind the car, it follows you around in near-isometric view like a drunken one-legged sailor in a storm.

Toybox Turbos:

1: Nope

#ToyboxTurbos #Racing #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 25, 2023 - Day 84 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 89

Game: Aragami
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Oct 25, 2016
Library Date: Aug 23, 2022
Unplayed: 214d (7m2d)
Playtime: 23m

Aragami is a stealth game, set in Japan, in which you play an assassin summoned from death to put right a terrible injustice.

Your powers come from staying the shadows, allowing you to teleport from shadow to shadow, with your power levels indicated by a design that lights up on your cloak.

I am traditionally terrible at stealth games, and I got stuck on the second level, restarting multiple times before deciding it was time to call it a night.

I suspect, however, this may be due to my overall state of weariness.

There's a definite rush of adrenaline as you teleport into a shadow behind one of the bad guys, assassinate them, and them teleport away into another shadow, but I just couldn't seem to press the right buttons at the right time.

Definitely a game I'll come back to, Aragami is:

4: Good

#Aragami #Stealth #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 26, 2023 - Day 85 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 90

Game: Tomb Raider: Anniversary
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Jun 5, 2007
Library Date: Mar 4, 2018
Unplayed: 1848d (5y22d)
Playtime: 22m

The Tomb Raider series has a long and storied history, as I learned when I reviewed Tomb Raider (2013) on March 4th.

Tomb Raider: Anniversary was released in 2007, by Crystal Dynamics. It's a sequel that's a prequel to "Tomb Raider: Legend", and is a remake of the original Tomb Raider from 1996.

Released 4 years after the second Tomb Raider movie, I got an Angelina Jolie vibe from the character design, and it's entirely unclear to me whether Jolie was just well cast in the movies, or whether the design team were making a deliberate callback.

Unfortunately, as with a lot of older games I've tried to play this year, this Tomb Raider has not aged well. Graphically it feels rather bland, but more critically, the follow-camera seems like it's never quite sure what it's following, and shimmies & bounces all over the place, making me feel slightly queasy trying to navigate.

The initial tomb-opening sequence sees your helpful "native" guide die; it's entirely unclear whether it's the wolves who came running out of the freshly opened tomb, or a stray bullet from Lara's dual-pistols, but Lara's "shrug-and-move-on" left me cold.

I don't think I'll be coming back to Tomb Raider: Anniversary, it's just:

2: Meh

#TombRaiderAnniversary #ThirdPerson #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 26, 2023 - Day 85 - NewPlay Bonus Review
Total NewPlays: 91

Game: Lost Castle

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Sep 1, 2016
Library Date: Mar 12, 2018
Unplayed: 1840 days (5y14d)
Playtime: 20m

There are some games, that when I play them for the first time, I'm terribly disappointed to discover something that I have missed in my library that I could have been enjoying all this time.

Lost Castle is not one of those games.

It's a 2.5D "action RPG" with roguelike elements. Apparently the devs looked at the table of roguelike elements, scooped up a bunch, looked at "fun" and went "Nahhhh".

Repetitive mobs, repetitive soundtrack, 20 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Pity Lost Castle didn't remain lost, because:

1: Nope

#LostCastle #ActionRPG #RogueLike #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365

Mar 27, 2023 - Day 86 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 92

Game: Call of Juarez
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Jun 12, 2007
Library Date: Jul 4, 2018
Unplayed: 1727 (4y8m23d)
Playtime: 26m

In an odd twist, this game was released only one week after yesterday's game, Tomb Raider: Anniversary.

Call of Juarez is a first-person shooter set in the old west. Developed by Techland, who went on to create Dying Light, it suffers from similar problems to yesterday's review of Tomb Raider: Anniversary.

It's an almost-16-year-old game, and it just hasn't aged well. The graphics are bland, the voice acting feels cheesy, but the pimp offering "30 minutes free with Suzy" to anyone who captures the protagonist just pushed me into "ick" territory

I kept going, and gave it a shot, but found myself dying repeatedly, with a non-obvious stealth mechanic required to get through the second level (I had to Google a walkthrough to work out what I was doing wrong).

In the end I just wasn't having any fun to keep me going. If I want to play a game set in the old west, I now have far better -and more fun- options available to me, and I can't see any good reason to spend any more time trying to make my way through this game.

Call of Juarez? I can't hear a thing. It's:

1: Nope

#CallOfJuarez #FPS #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 28, 2023 - Day 87 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 93

Game: Splasher
Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Feb 8, 2017
Library Date: Mar 12, 2018
Unplayed: 1842 (5y16d)
Playtime: 22m

Splasher feels like a dev somewhere asked "what would happen if we took Portal 2's paint gun, and made a 2D platformer?"

It's one of those platformers that requires near perfect split-second timing, and my autistic fine motor skills just don't want to play along.

I made it through a couple of levels, but I kept one eye on the clock.

Splasher is not a bad game, I just find it a little bit too frustrating to keep playing.

Splasher is:

2: Meh

#Splasher #Platformer #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 29, 2023 - Day 88 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 94

Game: Arcade Mayhem Juanito

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Aug 4, 2017
Library Date: Mar 13, 2018
Unplayed: 1842 (5y16d)
Playtime: 15m

Arcade Mayhem Juanito (or Juanito Arcade Mayhem, it can't seem to decide), is a well made pastiche of retro arcade games.

It feels like someone threw early 2000's Nickelodeon, Wreck-It Ralph, and a bunch of arcade games into a blender, and hit frappe.

The gameplay mechanics are basically straight out of Space Invaders. Use the controller's A button to shoot upwards at the things falling out of the sky. You can also dash with the B button.

That's it.

The problem is that that much single button mashing *very* quickly takes a toll on my thumb, and as for yesterday's platformer, timing is everything, and mine is rubbish.

The graphics are great, the sound effects a little overwhelming, and I have some questions about the game assets in the first set of levels that seem to be a straight rip from a certain falling-blocks game, Comrade.

This is a well-made game, but while I feel interested in continuing to see how the story (such as it is) develops, it's just a little too frustrating for me to push forward.

Juanito Arcade Mayhem is:

2: Meh

#ArcadeMayhemJuanito #Arcade #HappyBirthdayPhil #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 29, 2023 - Day 88 - NewPlay Bonus Review
Total NewPlays: 95

Game: Zombie Army Trilogy

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Mar 6, 2015
Library Date: Jan 30, 2019
Unplayed: 1519 days (4y1m29d)
Playtime: 17m

In the past six months I unexpectedly discovered that I'm seemingly gluten-intolerant. I've spent most of the last few months avoiding gluten, and subsequently enjoying not having my gut feel like a broken garbage disposal.

This evening when my son got home from work, he arrived a large bag of various types of hot cross buns, including my all-time favourites, apple & cinnamon. They were most definitely not gluten-free, and I'd forgotten the near immediate effect it would have on me, leaving me feeling like I need to puke.

"Zombie" games tend to spike my anxiety through the roof, and I generally avoid them, particularly at night.

This is to say, I made two terrible decisions tonight. 17 minutes of Zombie Army Trilogy at 11:15pm might be almost as bad for my sleep tonight as that hot cross bun.

Which is a shame, because Zombie Army Trilogy is effectively a reskinned Sniper Elite III, with all the fun and gore that comes with it; with the constant groan of zombies around you, and spikes of terror as they appear from the ground in front of you, it's a great zombie game.

Zombie Army Trilogy isn't wrong, it's just wrong for me; it's:

3: OK

#ZombieArmyTrilogy #ThirdPerson #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365

Mar 30, 2023 - Day 89 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 96

Game: Seraph

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Sep 21, 2016
Library Date: Mar 13, 2018
Unplayed: 1843 (5y17d)
Playtime: 20m

Seraph is a platform shooter, with auto-aiming.

It's the kind of platformer I prefer to play, it's a bit button-mashy at times, and a few times I mashed the wrong button to shoot, but it doesn't rely on perfect timing with lots of unexpected deaths.

In Seraph you play a wingless angel who's spent 30 years in angel prison (I guess?), and who may or may not be responsible for the horde of demons roaming the levels that you have to shoot with your dual-wielded pistols & "gun-fu".

That's some classical angelology right there.

As platformers go, it's much closer to the kind of platformer I prefer, but it's not a great game that's got me rushing to play it again.

For a bit of demon-shooting mayhem, Seraph is:

3: OK

#Platformer #Shooter #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Mar 31, 2023 - Day 90 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 97

Game: Panzer Corps Gold Edition

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Jul 10, 2011
Library Date: Mar 13, 2018
Unplayed: 1844 (5y18d)
Playtime: 23m

It should have been obvious from the name that I would not enjoy this game.

Any game that has me playing as the Nazis is not a game I want to play.

This is a hex-based strategy game AND I have to play as the Nazis? Ugh.

I got to 23 minutes because I try to at least finish the tutorial missions I start.

I finished the first two tutorials and dipped. Panzer Corps Gold Edition is over 11 years old, feels older, and again: you're playing as the Nazis, and that just feels a bit too on the nose in 2023.

Panzer Corps Gold Edition is a big old:

1: Nope.

#Hex #Strategy #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 1, 2023 - Day 91 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 98

Game: Slice, Dice & Rice

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Apr 28, 2017
Library Date: Mar 13, 2018
Unplayed: 1845 (5y19d)
Playtime: 20m

I have to assume that the games I've been playing all came in a bundle back in 2018, but I can't find any evidence that I purchased it.

Slice, Dice & Rice is fairly basic, but quite atmospheric beat-em-up.

The quirky thing about it is that as your character(s) are armed with some pretty sharp and pointy weapons, there's no health bars. A couple of hits, and your opponent is dead.

Win four matches, and take the round. There are four simple hit types, you can jump, but it's not entirely clear what triggers the jump (it might be pressing down on the left joystick?), and no complex series of button presses to remember.

If I'd paid the full price of A$14.50 for this game, I'd still be disappointed, but as it came in a bundle, I'm not judging it as harshly.

The stylised graphics and blood-spurting death animations, combined with a fairly quick load time make this a bit of fun to pick up, and lay the smack down for five minutes.

Slice, Dice & Rice is:

3: OK

#SliceDiceAndRice #BeatEmUp #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 2, 2023 - Day 92 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 99

Game: Monster Crown

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Jul 31, 2020
Library Date: Apr 2, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 16m

For reasons that escape me now, last July I decided to purchase an annual subscription for Humble Bundle.

I think my reasoning was "I've been paying USD$11.99 per month, I can switch to AUD and pay $16.95 per month, or pay up front, and effectively pay $14.92 per month! If I get one good game each month that normally costs more than $15, I'm ahead."

I am not ahead. There have been some good games - and I already owned every one of them. Most of the others I haven't played, so at this point, I am not ahead, at all.

What do have is a particular collection of games, games I have acquired over the last nine months, unplayed games that make managing storage on my gaming PC a nightmare for... me.

So... I'm going to try and play them as well.

I started with Monster Crown. I did not grow up with Nintendo, and I had trouble grasping the purpose of this game.

My son (also a Humble Choice subscriber) walked in while I was playing it and said "Oh! I saw that game. It's just shitty Pokemon."

Indeed, it turns out that Monster Crown is, apparently, "inspired by" early Pokemon games.

The 8-bit style "retro" graphics, & chiptunes had already put me off, and the gameplay didn't grab me at all.

Monster Crown is:

2: Meh

#MonsterBattler #Retro
#Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 3, 2023 - Day 93 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 100

Game: Demon Turf

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Nov 4, 2021
Library Date: Apr 2, 2023
Unplayed: 1d
Playtime: 30m

Firstly, an apology if you watched this #NewPlay live on Twitch.

Something was applying a voice-effect to my mic, and I was unable to work out the source, which is why it was so heavily reverbed.

This is another game from March 2023's Humble Choice.

It was not initially obvious to me what kind of game I was playing; Demon Turf is a 3D platformer.

The thing about a new game, is that if I need to go through a tutorial to familiarise myself with the controls, I have to want to finish the tutorial.

I did not want to finish the tutorial. I kept going because I was streaming it, but I didn't enjoy this game. You play Beebz, a demon girl with the goal to take over the Demon Turfs and wrest control away from the Demon King to become the Demon Queen, and I just don't care.

I can't quite explain why this game grated on me, but after 30 minutes of frustration, I was done.

Was it fun? Not for me. Would I play Demon Turf again?

1: Nope.

#3DPlatformer #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 4, 2023 - Day 94 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 101

Game: Hot Wheels Unleashed

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Oct 1, 2021
Library Date: Aug 31, 2022
Unplayed: 216d
Playtime: 29m

OK, tonight's live #NewPlay went a lot better than last night's and I don't even hate my voice. I should add the link to my Twitch account somewhere.

Anyway, Hot Wheels Unleashed.

It's a racing game, where you race Hot Wheels cars on Hot Wheels tracks, which is also Forza Horizon 5's first expansion pack (and was also Forza Horizon 3's second XPAC).

If you were the kind of kid who loved Hot Wheels cars, and I was, licencing Hot Wheels to appeal to nostalgia only gets you part way there.

There's got to be a good racing game under the hood (pun intended).

Fortunately for Hot Wheels Unleashed, it IS a good racing game. It's a lot of fun drifting your way around the corners, and boosting past opponents, and that's what I want in a racing game, or any game.

If you love a fun racing game, have a nostalgia for Hot Wheels, and you don't already have Forza Horizon 3 or 5 with the relevant XPACs, then Hot Wheels Unleashed might be right up your loop-the-loop.

(Do not get me started on the DLCs though.)

Hot Wheels Unleashed is:

4: Good

#HotWheelsUnleashed #Racing #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Tonight's stream: https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1784343096

Apr 5, 2023 - Day 95 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 102

Game: Super Mega Baseball: Extra Innings

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Aug 22, 2015
Library Date: Mar 13, 2018
Unplayed: 1849d (5y23d)
Playtime: 20m

I live in Victoria, Australia, where you MUST barrack for an Australian Football League (AFL) team. One of the first questions you'll be asked when meeting someone new is "who do you barrack for?"

So I kind of understand how people feel about sport; I do not feel those things.

It was obvious exactly what kind of game this was, because it's right there in the name.

Super Mega Baseball: Extra Innings is a cartoonish baseball game, where you alternate between batting & pitching, & yelling at the balls you strike out.

I have no idea what the secret is to correctly hitting the ball, because I was virtually unable to do so. I managed to hit a few balls in the whole game. I got someone to first base once (kissing, right?)

What annoys me is that I had a riotous amount of fun for something I found so frustrating. Watch the video, and you'll find me laughing while declaring "I hate it".

If the game hadn't ended when it did (and I don't know WHY it did), I would have played through the whole innings, and hated every minute of it.

Maybe this would work for someone who understands & enjoys baseball, but for me Super Mega Baseball: Extra Innings is:

1: Nope

#SuperMegaBaseballExtraInning #Sport #Baseball #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1785314425

Apr 6, 2023 - Day 96 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 103

Game: Orwell

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Oct 28, 2016
Library Date: Mar 22, 2018
Unplayed: 1841d (5y15d)
Playtime: 22m

Orwell is (apparently) the first chapter of five in a game that's about investigation and surveillance after a terrorist attack.

You're gathering information on a person, who seems to have been pre-judged as being guilty of the crime; the "advisor" you're working with seems to have made up his mind already.

I've played a lot of games over the past few months. While it's only been 103 I've reviewed, there were a couple of hundred more late last year before I decided on this little project.

I have played games that have delighted me, annoyed me, frustrated me, frightened me, bored me.

This is the first time that a game has made me feel *bad* about playing it. This game might be something others would enjoy, but given the current political climate, and the overreach of government into people's lives, particularly trans folks, this was just a little bit too fascism-adjacent for me to feel comfortable.

I did not enjoy Orwell at all:

1: Nope

#Orwell #Surveillance #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1786225691

Apr 7, 2023 - Day 97 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 104

Game: Dredge

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Mar 31, 2023
Library Date: Apr 7, 2023
Unplayed: 0d
Playtime: 3h

Dredge was released a week ago, and I think this is the fastest Released -> Purchased -> Played #NewPlay this year.

Dredge describes itself as "a single-player fishing adventure with a sinister undercurrent".

I'd describe it as a cozy work simulator with a subtext of horror.

Here Be minor #spoilers:
---
The game's intro has you (intro makes it clear you're a man) out to sea in your fishing boat, which gets shipwrecked near a small fishing village, whose previous village fisherman has disappeared under unclear circumstances.
---

You are pressed into service as the new village fisherman, and given an old boat, and a loan you must repay. The village & villagers are all slightly unsettling.

The game then revolves around catching & selling fish, & dredging the bay to upgrade your boat so you can go further & faster to ensure you can get back safely to dock each night.

Fish are all different sizes & shapes, so part of the game is a puzzle minigame to arrange the caught fish in the most efficient way.

If you don't get back to dock before 6:30pm in-game, weird stuff starts happening, & your "panic" levels increase.

I played Dredge for 3 hours straight last night, because Dredge is:

5: Excellent

#Dredge #Adventure #puzzle #Cozy #Horror #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/1787098972

Apr 8, 2023 - Day 98 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 105

Game: Terra Nil

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Mar 29, 2023
Library Date: Apr 7, 2023
Unplayed: 1d
Playtime: 3.3h

I first played the Terra Nil demo about 9 months ago during the Steam Next Fest.It had a lot of rough edges, but it was quite charming, and there was definitely something there.

It was released on the 29th of March; it then popped up as part of Fanatical's Easter sale.

Take a dash of ADHD, a touch of exhaustion, and a habit of buying new games as a coping mechanism; shake them all up, and I found myself the owner of both Dredge & Terra Nil (there went my savings towards a new motherboard).

Terra Nil is an "environmental strategy game". You find yourself in the middle of a wasteland, with the job of terraforming the land to restore the biomes and biodiversity that are long gone, and finally removing all traces of civilisation.

While Dredge is "cozy horror", Terra Nil is just cozy. There are challenges to achieve during the rewilding process, but there are no threats, no impending doom, just a delightful experience of watching a dead wasteland brought to glorious life, accompanied by a delightful soundtrack that seems to slowly fill in as you move towards the goal.

It did not feel like 3 hours had passed; Terra Nil is:

5: Excellent

#TerraNil #Environment #Strategy #Cozy #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 9, 2023 - Day 99 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 106

Game: The Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Jul 15, 2009
Library Date: Mar 13, 2018
Unplayed: 1853d (5y27d)
Playtime: 31m

I went into today's #NewPlay just trying to stay upright, and I slept for a couple of hours afterwards. This may have contributed to my feelings towards TSoMI:SE.

I've said it before in these reviews: I'm not a huge point-and-click adventure fan.

TMI time: for a lot of my life I struggled to admit that I didn't like some things, and it's only in the past few years that I've been able to let myself say "Actually, I don't like this."

Some of my earliest computer gaming experiences were The Colossal Cave on a rebuilt mainframe we had at home (that's a whole other story), and a pirated copy of Zork.

When I started on PC, I played all of the Quests (King's, Police, and Space), and I'd usually get to a point of frustration and abandoning them.

I didn't play any the SCUMM-based adventures, and so I have no nostalgia for them; sadly, for the most part, they just do nothing for me.

TSoMI:SE isn't a bad game. I can see the love that went into rebuilding it, but maybe (in the immortal words of Fozzie Bear) "It's not that it's wrong, it's just wrong for me."

I will try it again when I'm more awake but at best, The Secret of Monkey Island: Special Edition is:

3: OK

#TheSecretOfMonkeyIsland #PointAndClick #Adventure #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 10, 2023 - Day 100 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 107

Game: Kingdom

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Oct 22, 2015
Library Date: Mar 22, 2018
Unplayed: 1845d (5y19d)
Playtime: 68m

Kingdom is a pixel-art based, sideways-scrolling strategy/resource management game. Pretty much everything I dislike, in a single package.

As soon as I saw it load in, I was sure I'd be clock-watching, just itching for my 15 minutes to be up.

An hour later I was still playing.

Sometimes the gameplay is so good, the art disappears, and this turns out to be a great game, but you have to work for it.

It does very little to hold your hand; the first ten minutes were spent trying to intuit what was going on.

You're a king or queen, mounted on a horse. You can ride in either direction, and pick up and spend gold coins, and... that's about it. You cannot attack or fight back if attacked.

You use your initial few gold coins to hire a couple of beggars, and build a tiny village.

The tiny village allows you to provide each person you hire with a tool (hammer) or a weapon (bow & arrow).

During the day, the armed villagers kill rabbits and earn gold coins for you, while the working villagers can build defenses. At night, the armed villagers defend you. Each new day, you earn more gold coins, and the cycle continues, for just one more day.

My initial impressions of Kingdom were wrong; it's:

4: Good.

#Kingdom #Strategy #2D #SidewaysScroller #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 11, 2023 - Day 101 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 108

Game: Obduction

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Aug 25, 2016
Library Date: Mar 22, 2018
Unplayed: 1846d (5y20d)
Playtime: 47m

As Obduction loaded up, it seemed like the kind of game I'd like. Kind of the polar opposite of yesterday's game, Kingdom; it's really pretty... and I found it deeply frustrating.

At its core, it's a first-person 3D puzzle game. I like puzzle games. Right off the bat, the interactions with the in-game characters annoyed me. You activate these projected pre-recorded video bites, and something about them just set my teeth on edge.

When you interact directly with an "in-game" character though, that really broke my concentration. The character appears pre-recorded & pre-rendered, and it's almost impossible to make out the critical info they're saying.

On top of this, interacting with the various devices in the world momentarily locks your view on the object you're interacting with. Consequently, with one of the early puzzles, I gave up in frustration, only to find that I was *so* close to solving it, and it would have been obvious, had cause & effect not been disconnected by the locked view.

There might be a reasonable puzzle game underneath the frustration, but I'm not sure I want to spend the time finding out.

Obduction also works in VR, so I'm reserving a final rating until after I try VR, but right now, it's:

2: Meh

#Obduction #Puzzle #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 12, 2023 - Day 102 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 109

Game: Subterrain

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Jan 21, 2016
Library Date: Apr 9, 2018
Unplayed: 1829d (5y3d)
Playtime: 73m

Subterrain is a top-down sci-fi horror survival game.

Apparently.

You play an imprisoned scientist who has to break out of his cell, and finds that the entire prison, and apparently, base on Mars has been overrun by zombies, maybe. Based on some flavour text, on something I picked up.

It's moody & atmospheric, and I spent 73 minutes exploring all of the nooks and crannies of the prison, waiting for something to happen.

There's next to zero guidance, and you need to discover your way forward, which is why I explored every nook and cranny; all the while collecting things until I hit my carry limit. There's a recycle-and-build system in there somewhere, but by the time I got close to it, I'd had enough.

The game itself is well designed, and the sound design kept me thinking that something was just about to happen... but no. I killed two zombies in the first two levels.

There's a hint of something interesting in there, but it's buried under so much drudgery, that for a moment I questioned why I'm doing these reviews at all.

Ultimately Subterrain felt like style without substance, and I'm genuinely disappointed; it feels like I wasted 73 minutes of my life that I didn't enjoy, and won't get back. It's just:

2: Meh

#SciFi #TopDown #Survival #Horror #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 13, 2023 - Day 103 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 110

Game: God Eater Resurrection

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Aug 29, 2016
Library Date: Mar 31, 2018
Unplayed: 1839d (5y13d)
Playtime: 45m

God Eater Resurrection is a bit of an odd duck of a game.

Firstly, you cannot (and never have been able to) buy it directly on Steam, as it comes bundled with God Eater 2: Rage Burst

Secondly, it felt a bit like another game I'd played in the past six months, and it turns out that Code Vein is (apparently) set in the same universe.

Unlike the soulslike world of Code Vein, though, GER is a hack-n-slash.

As for the game itself, it would have been difficult to stop the game at 15 minutes, because at that point, having spent a few minutes in the character creator tweaking my avatar, it was *still* in the intro video, setting up the universe. All up, it was 19 minutes from when I'd started the game, until I could first move around in-game.

The between-mission area has a fixed camera, and I couldn't find a comfortable playstyle on K/M or with controller, but in-game fighting has a free-movement camera, and I ultimately settled on K/M.

There is a LOT going on in switching weapon modes, and managing the different options in-battle, but it feels like it might be worth getting to know it a bit better.

God Eater Resurrection is:

3: OK

#GodEaterResurrection #ThirdPerson #HackNSlash #MastodonGaming #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 14, 2023 - Day 104 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 111

Game: Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Aug 16, 2017
Library Date: Jun 6, 2018
Unplayed: 1773d (4y10m8d)
Playtime: 25m

I feel like I should tread carefully here; while a voracious reader when younger, I've not encountered the works of Ken Follett, but apparently The Pillars of the Earth (henceforth, "Pillars") was a "worldwide best-seller".

Pillars came in a Humble Bundle, and it's not a game that I would have purchased on its own. I'm not familiar with the source material, or the author, so the branding isn't a hook.

However, if the storytelling and gameplay game can grab me early, this isn't necessarily an issue. Unfortunately, Pillars very much seems to lean into an assumed familiarity with the source material which was strike one.

Strike two was "Oh. It's a point-and-click adventure."

I've made no bones about my feelings towards point-and-click. The Full Throttle remaster hooked me. Deponia was a bit hit and miss.

Strike three was the game pacing. It's... slow. There's a lot of slow moving from place to place, a lot of things to click on that don't seem to do anything.

The thing that tipped me over the edge, though: the game made it almost impossible to quit out. In the end, I alt-tabbed and closed it.

Ken Follett's The Pillars of the Earth is a solid:

1: Nope.

#ThePillarsOfTheEarth #PointAndClick #MastodonGaming #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 15, 2023 - Day 105 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 112

Game: Satellite Reign

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Aug 18, 2015
Library Date: Apr 20, 2018
Unplayed: 1822d (4y11m27d)
Playtime: 28m

I have a soft spot for cyberpunk themed games, and one of the unexpected side-effects of this project is discovering how many cyberpunk-themed games that aren't *Cyberpunk 2077* I already own.

Satellite Reign is a cyberpunk-themed class-based real-time strategy game.

So far, at the point I'd reached in the game, part-way through what just may be a lengthy tutorial, there's not a lot to critique.

It's a nice, solid little game, and I'm part way through a rescue mission. It captures the dystopian cyberpunk aesthetic nicely, without feeling like a straight rip from Blade Runner, but does feel like it draws from that well, as well as Cyberpunk, and William Gibson.

I'd love to make this a long deep review, but I'm wrestling with fatigue today in a way that seems to have fried my ability to write.

In any case, I'll definitely be going back to play it again, just to see how it unfolds.

Satellite Reign is:

3: OK

#SatelliteReign #RealTimeStrategy #MastodonGaming #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 15, 2023 - Day 105 - NewPlay Bonus Review
Total NewPlays: 113

Game: Fortified

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: Feb 4, 2016
Library Date: Jun 7, 2018
Unplayed: 1773d (4y10m8d)
Playtime: 29m

Fortified is 1950's-inspired alien-invasion third-person 3D tower defense game.

It's boring.

I played across two characters, over three levels, and it was just just... boring.

A good tower defense game needs your weaponry and income to scale up appropriately to whatever you're fighting. That balance can be difficult to achieve. Orcs Must Die manages it. Fortified does not.

The "attack" buildings feel incredibly slow and underpowered, and the monsters feel generic and annoying, rather than threatening.

I like to at least reach a checkpoint, or finish a level in a game, and not quit out mid-level, but in all seriousness, I should have, because playing longer to complete the last level didn't make it any more entertaining, which is a fundamental issue. If a game isn't challenging, then it needs to at least be fun.

I can't even offer a hope that there's something under the surface. While 1950's-style the interstitial graphics and interface would feel at home in a pulp sci-fi magazine, the in-game assets feels like generic cut & paste models from a free unreal library.

Could Fortified be more than the sum of it's pulpy parts?:

1: Nope

#Fortified #TowerDefense #MastodonGaming #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

Apr 16, 2023 - Day 106 - NewPlay Review
Total NewPlays: 114

Game: Old Man's Journey

Platform: Steam PC
Release Date: May 18, 2017
Library Date: Dec 4, 2018
Unplayed: 1594d (4y4m12d)
Playtime: 26m

I am struggling to write about Old Man's Journey, and so this review will be short, and long, and strangely personal, and out of order.

Old Man's Journey is a puzzle game, and a work of art. It reveals itself as you attempt to understand how to play it.

Old Man's Journey is:

5: Excellent

#OldMansJourney #Puzzle #MastodonGaming #Gaming #Project365ONG #Project365 #NewPlay

I had to get that out of the way, because this game went unplayed for a very different reason to normal.

It came as part of the October 2018 Humble Bundle, and the idea of playing it terrified me.

When I was a child, for a few years, my dad used to take us into nursing homes on Sunday afternoons, as he visited people and played guitar and sang hymns for them.

I hated it. I hated the smell, and it frightened me, and I could not explain why.

I've worked in an aged care adjacent role for over a decade; I've spent far more time in the company of folks in aged care than I ever expected I would.

But I understand now what it was I hated; I hated being around old men, because I was terrified of becoming an old man.

I mean, I know you can't "catch" old man, it's just part of living as a man... and for years I found the idea of myself as an old man terrifying, as in "I would rather be dead". (cont...)

In hindsight, it feels obvious to me why I was so terrified; I'm not a man.

As I struggled over the past seven years to accept myself as trans, I finally came to understand that gut-level, lifelong fear was rooted somewhere deeper.

How do you explain that to others? How do I explain that I have a fear that seems utterly irrational, but is so deeply rooted that I hoped I would die before I reached that age?

Yet... as I worked to come to grips with accepting my gender incongruence, I discovered that if I imagined myself as an old woman, I was fine. No fear. Even a sense of peacefulness about it.

In hindsight, it now seems blindingly obvious that my subconscious was trying to communicate something to me.

So when I saw Old Man's Journey on the list today, I decided to give it a try.

It is an exceedingly beautiful game. To borrow from Bruce Cockburn, "every place it touched me, is a laceration now."

Coming out as a trans woman at this stage of my life means that there are life experiences that I will never know. As I've written elsewhere recently, I've lived with longings and yearnings that I had no words for, for most of my life.

They were desires that had no context, because I was trying to play the role of a (cisgender) man; a role that did not come naturally, but an alternative was literally inconceivable for most of my life.

As you play through Old Man's Journey, you reach points where the titular character sits, and remembers his life as a young man. (cont...)

He remembers being at a party, and seeing a woman across the room. He remembers a date, as they watched the sun set. His proposal to her. His first kiss with his new bride.

I will never know those things. I will never be that young woman, seen across the room; I'll never know what it is like to be romanced; never have someone who will look into my eyes, and ask me to spend my life with them. I will never be a bride.

These are the things I attempted to do for another, things that I knew I should do, but felt like a role that I was playing; "me", but not me.

I do not regret any of the choices I've made, because I did the best that I could, with what I knew.

However, this does not mean that I do not feel grief at the loss of a life that might have been.

Old Man's Journey was deeply frustrating to play. There are no written instructions, no guidance on how to play. It's not even initially clear what you're trying to achieve... and to embody an old man? It was an extra layer of discomfort.

As I persevered, and the nature of the puzzles revealed themselves, I found myself becoming lost in the game.

And then... his memories. Each one a bittersweet wound, as his life opened up before him, and a life unlived opened up within me.

This beautiful puzzle game touched me in ways that no other game I've played this year has touched me.

These reviews have been about how I've felt about games, and how they've made me feel.

Old Man's Journey is a beautiful, painful work of art.