ebel aurora
Me: I need a "personal massager"
Hitachi: No problem, here's our Magic Wand. Anything else?
Me: You wouldn't happen to know where I can get a 20-ton industrial crawler excavator would you?
Hitachi: You're not gonna believe this
Mar 22, 2023 at 7:28pmWeb
Show threadSeiðrMar 23, 2023
@ebel All's laughs and jokes until they place the engine of one on the other by mistake.
Show threadMOVED:They faux'd around & found out!Mar 24, 2023
@[email protected] @[email protected] Hitachi: Well… actually… we did. And it’ll jack you up.
Show threadKnud JahnkeMar 23, 2023

@ebel

"Or a nuclear power plant?"

"Sure, we got you"

Show threadapophisSep 29, 2023
@knud @ebel sometimes the knot in your back is just that tough
Show threadElon Musk stickMar 23, 2023
@ebel just don’t get them mixed up. Learned that lesson the hard way.
Show threadAngus McIntyreMar 23, 2023
@masterdon @ebel No shit. If you've ever had to dig out the foundations for a skyscraper using a Magic Wand, that's not a mistake you'll make again.
Show threadElon Musk stickMar 23, 2023
@angusm @ebel amen brother. Amen
Show threadElon Musk stickMar 23, 2023
@angusm @ebel *bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*
Show threadMOVED:They faux'd around & found out!Mar 24, 2023
@[email protected] @[email protected] Hitachi: Oops.
Show threadfdrMar 23, 2023
@ebel Now I need a recording device to store images and movies for "inspiration" when I do the "personal massaging"
Hitachi: Hold on...
Sorry we closed that division years ago 
Show threadOfficially Tara 🕷️  🌹Mar 23, 2023
@ebel i work in industrial cybersecurity and was once briefly confused when i saw some coworkers discussing a Hitachi vulnerability 😅
Show threadarclightMar 23, 2023
@ebel Me: Just on the off-chance, I also need some nuclear reactors. Big ones.
Hitachi: As a matter of fact...
Show threadJavier Henderson 🇦🇷 🇺🇸Mar 23, 2023

@arclight @ebel Me: I'm also gonna need some transistors, a few thousand disk drives, and a big container ship to send them all.

Hitachi: SAY NO MORE

Show threadJez 🍞🌹Oct 2, 2023

@javierk4jh @arclight @ebel Me: This is pushing it, but can you provide a train to ship them on?

Hitachi: As luck would have it...

Show threadFlamekebabMar 23, 2023
@ebel just don't go to them for slogans. I still have no clue what "Inspire the next" means, particularly as it applies to watching stuff on my Hitachi telly. Someone got paid a lot for that crap.
Show threadIan McLeanMar 24, 2023
@Flamekebab @ebel I think it means ‘we do so many things we can’t make a slogan that means anything without excluding something’.
Show threadMartin Vermeer FCDMar 23, 2023
@ebel Me: and I need to replace my old Motorola 6809 microprocessor
Hitachi: wait a minute... we used to have the thing for you. Go to eBay...
Show threadrail enthusiast wife DariaMar 23, 2023
@ebel @brokengoose same idea same company 😅 https://twitter.com/shadow/status/1335442552615526403?s=46&t=yjwZTQht8mr3jSVGmRsjqw
Tweet / Twitter

Twitter
Show threadWill OrrMar 23, 2023
@ebel What if I need a mainframe? 🤔
Show threadrandom thoughtsMar 23, 2023

@ebel
Me: I need a bike, a guitar, a grand piano, a nice Hi-Fi, an inflatable boat and an outboard motor to carry them all.

Yamaha: Of course, are you also interested in some mixing consoles for your new LP?

Show threadJeffMar 23, 2023
@hittitezombie Just going to have to be that guy. That's two different companies. They're related, but the motor side of the company got spun off in the 50s. (Full disclosure: I own stuff from both companies. I might really like their motorcycles)
Show threadrandom thoughtsMar 23, 2023
@overeducatedredneck "The former motorcycle division was established in 1955 as Yamaha Motor Co., Ltd., which started as an affiliated company but later became independent, although Yamaha Corporation is still a major shareholder."
Show threadrandom thoughtsMar 23, 2023
@overeducatedredneck still it makes a good story. I own a bike and a blockflute by 'Yamaha'.
Show threadTwobiscuits🚴‍♂️ Mar 23, 2023
@ebel scanning fluorimeter anyone?
Show threadsynMar 23, 2023
@ebel see also: Samsung, Yamaha, etc.
Show threadJinna the bureaucracy witchMar 23, 2023
@syn @ebel Samsung will also sell you battle tanks and artillery, so they may have the rest beat technically.
Show threadsynMar 23, 2023
@jinna @ebel they wouldn't last time I went to the Samsung store :(
Show threadFake Duchess of MinneapolisMar 23, 2023
@ebel an old coworker had a story of a san failing that was made by Hitachi and said "yeah we got fucked by Hitachi"
Show threadNed YeungMar 23, 2023

@ebel

Why are there quotes around "personal massager"? Is there another use for them?

Show thread🍁Maple🍁Mar 23, 2023

@ned @ebel

セックス

Show threadNed YeungMar 23, 2023

@MobileMaple @ebel

lol! :D

Show thread🍁Maple🍁Mar 23, 2023

@ned @ebel

Glad to make you laugh 😃

Show threadHannekeSep 30, 2023
@ned @ebel taking out the pavement
Show threadCthulku has movedSep 30, 2023
@h5e @ned @ebel And a new euphemism is born!
Show threadMichael PorterOct 1, 2023
@cthulku @ned @h5e @ebel “High” setting not for use by untrained personnel
Show threadLimey_TankMar 23, 2023

@ebel @cstross

Or my personal favourite, a 1.1M€ cold field emission electron microscope.

https://www.hitachi-hightech.com/uk/en/products/microscopes/sem-tem-stem/fe-sem/

FE-SEM (Field Emission Scanning Electron Microscopes) : Hitachi High-Tech in UK

Reliability-Proven Ultra-High-Resolution Field-Emission Scanning Electron Microscopes (FE-SEM)

Hitachi High-Tech in UK
Show threadyuvipandaMar 23, 2023
@ebel yamaha seems similar
Show threadDoctor MemoryMar 23, 2023

@ebel

Me: Hey, by any chance do you have a--
Hyundai: I'ma stop you there. Yes.

Show threadDweniusMar 23, 2023
@memory @ebel s/hyundai/yamaha/g also works for this...
Show threadDoctor MemoryMar 23, 2023

@dwenius @ebel generally yeah although Yamaha oddly doesn't have an automotive division.

They make great pianos though!

Show threadDweniusMar 23, 2023
@memory @ebel Cars and trucks, no. Motorcycles, ATVs, boats...yes 😂
Show threadsbszineMar 23, 2023
@ebel Back in the day I coded the Asia Pacific website for Hitachi's heavy construction equipment. The Hitachi rep kept asking us to make it 'more butch'. Eventually our graphic designer (a sensitive minimalist), was so offended that he submitted a sarcastic mockup where the whole site was covered in oversized rivets. The Hitachi rep loved it and it went into production.
Show threadNothings MonsteredMar 23, 2023
@ebel https://youtu.be/6913KnbMpHM
Carole King - I Feel the Earth Move (Official Audio)

YouTube
Show threadINCOMar 24, 2023
@ebel Reminds me of how Mitsubishi would be the other conglomerate that could launch a car of their own making into space on their own rocket.
Show threadAvisJay Mar 24, 2023
@ebel Me: I need a new Smartphone
Samsung: Sure
Me: You wouldn't happen to know where I can get a 600000 ton floating natural gas liquifier
Samsung: You are not gonna believe this
Show thread(car '(potato lisper))Mar 24, 2023
@avis_jay Mitsubishi enters the chat https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitsubishi_Group
Mitsubishi Group - Wikipedia

Show threadJaddyMar 24, 2023

@potato_lisper

Works with others as well:

"OK, I have this telephone now. Where can I buy a wind turbine and a high speed train?"

Siemens: "well, actually..."

@avis_jay

Show threadEmily SMar 24, 2023

@avis_jay @ebel ok, I'm going to need to defend my new gas platform from an invading army, who can you recommend...

Samsung: let me introduce you to Samsung airspace industries

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K9_Thunder?wprov=sfla1

K9 Thunder - Wikipedia

Show thread\~Sleep~/Sep 30, 2023
@avis_jay @ebel
Me: Hey, I want to buy a calculator for math class
Texas Instruments: Sure thing, anything else you need?
Me: Yeah, the math class is in Ukraine. Do you know where I could get an anti-tank missile system?
Texas Instruments: You’re not gonna believe this
Show threadvaliant8086Mar 25, 2023
@ebel You: "No kidding, what about a hard drive?" Hitachi: "Sold that off ages ago." You: "Now I need a power drill" Hitachi: "Screw you, but here you go!"
Show threadHina's Kabukimono ArcSep 29, 2023
@ebel
Me: Do you also know where I can get a TV?
Hitachi: I got you covered, fam
Show threadMementoMoriSep 30, 2023
@ebel 😆😆