jessica by the bayI used to think I was cis and assumed that all dudes want to be girls. Now I know I’m trans and still assume all dudes want to be girls.
AlexTheRetroChicken@rooster all dudes do want to be girls <3
Staren, the Last Stardaughter
zeno's paradox speedrunner@rooster speaking for all of cis-dudes... na we're good not dealing with half the shit you women have to deal with
also, sorry for making a world where that's the case. i'm trying to help change it.
@pixelnull this is still so weird to me. Like, I love it for you but I spent my whole life thinking every dude was like “god. I wish I could just be a girl”
@rooster projecting is a hellovadrug
Drazi CrendravenSome of that shit would be better if cis dudes didn't think they knew better that woman how we should run our lives and bodies.
Chaos Dragon Lizzy 
@rooster This is why I offer to get dudes skirts. Just in case I run into another trans fem, or maybe dude who likes to wear skirts. Both are good outcomes. =3
Vyr Cossont 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️@rooster the replies to this thread are gonna be girls, either now or later
but for real if i'd thought to ask some of the cis dudes in my life how often they thought about being girls before i transitioned, i could have saved myself some time. had the conversation after with a few, and the one that i'll remember went like this:
"so have you ever thought about what it'd be like to be a woman?"
"yeah, of course. once or twice."
"a week, right?"
"no. like… ever."
Hanneke
Octavia con Amore
@OctaviaConAmore @Staren @rooster @vyr @zmbush Move fast and break things. And by things I mean eggs.
@OctaviaConAmore @h5e @Staren @vyr @zmbush I love the idea of someone being so powerfully trans that they just spontaneously break eggs around them
@OctaviaConAmore @h5e @zmbush @rooster @Staren torn between the feminine urge to point out that "egg-cracking" culture is as good a way to shove someone back in the closet as any other unwanted interrogation of gender, and the reasonable feminine assumption that anyone in this thread is asking for it
just be a good and loud example, ladies 😇
@vyr @OctaviaConAmore @h5e @zmbush @Staren doing my best to show the world that you can be a parent and in your late 30s and still transition and thrive.
Zoey 
@rooster Honestly seeing you on mastodon was one of my inspirations for exploring gender for myself beyond just "not guy". So I'd say you're doing a good job at that. 
🥹@zmbush @h5e @OctaviaConAmore @Staren @rooster for the record, i had no egg phase. i fled from any space where people were playing with gender. it pissed me off more than it should have, and didn't realize that most people don't care that much until later.
@OctaviaConAmore @Staren @h5e @rooster @zmbush and then i followed a bunch of game devs on Twitter, which included some women who posted funny relatable stuff and just happened to also post a lot of complaints about something called "spiro",
recursive 🏳️🌈
Ellie, Limited Edition@recursive @vyr @zmbush @h5e @OctaviaConAmore @Staren @rooster oh that's a mood. I was still so incredibly drawn to queerness that I ended up in an intensely "no labels, we're just whatever" group of queer friends.
Surprise, 6 years later basically all of us have labeled ourselves and transed our genders.
@tldrellie @vyr @zmbush @h5e @OctaviaConAmore @Staren @rooster Yeah, it's like, I wanted to be in that kind of space, while at the same time, all sorts of internalized transphobia made it too scary. If there's something that's gonna crack a lot of eggs, it's ... find a way to make people feel more comfortable with being different about their gender
@recursive @vyr @zmbush @h5e @OctaviaConAmore @Staren @rooster Absolutely. I'm really happy seeing teenagers today fuck with gender more than I ever felt safe to. My partner's brother is currently in one of those "no labels" queer groups, and I'm just 👀👀👀
@recursive @vyr @zmbush @h5e @OctaviaConAmore @rooster Since I knew I couldn't be a masculine guy but being a feminine one would make me an object of ridicule, I avoided a lot of the explorations other eggs did. 😔
...Wait, Vyr, how are you using the word here? Usually it means "a trans person who doesn't know it yet" by which definition all of us who didn't know we were really a from youngish age were eggs at some point.
@Staren @recursive @zmbush @h5e @OctaviaConAmore @rooster someone presumed to be trans and in the last stages of denial who keeps hanging out in trans spaces but is "still cis tho" if asked
there's a difference between not knowing or not being sure, and trying really hard to suppress it once you know but have convinced yourself that you could never transition for bullshit reasons, and i hear egg used to describe the second set of people more frequently than the first
@Staren @recursive @zmbush @h5e @OctaviaConAmore @rooster https://comicsbyxan.com/comic/disgruntled-catgirl-in-moment-of-impact/ this is the epitome of eggy behavior
@Staren @recursive @zmbush @h5e @OctaviaConAmore @rooster incidentally, the artist is finally on Mastodon! https://mastodon.lol/@comicsbyxan
Comics by Xan (@[email protected])
168 Posts, 67 Following, 380 Followers · It's ya gal Xan, creator of trans-catgirl-versus-the-world webcomic Pandora's Tale
@vyr @recursive @zmbush @h5e @OctaviaConAmore @rooster Ah, yeah. I've only seen that definition of egg used on r/egg_irl, which I viewed as "closeted trans people calling themselves eggs sarcastically/humorously"
I didn't have a 'closeted' phase, (more on how my journey went here: https://cathode.church/@Staren/109561166319695134) but in retrospect I had a lot of those 'just a trans ally who is obviously trans themselves' behaviors in the few months leading up to my cracking, except for not actually being in queer spaces and not having much to say about trans people since I only knew like one and followed a couple others on birdsite.
Staren, the Last Stardaughter (@[email protected])
@mouse @[email protected] My own story is... well I can talk about the clues from when I was a kid, or from when I was in my teens, or my 20s… but… Compared to others, I didn't "always know" and I barely knew any trans people… I had one online trans friend who I didn't begin to talk to a lot (or learn she was trans) until a few months before cracking, but her experience was so different from mine that didn't clue either of us in to me… A sad near miss when I looked up gender dysphoria in 2004 but the gatekeepy description used at the time didn't fit me… I concluded trans must be a hyper-rare medical condition... An ace friend encouraged me to question my sexuality in March 2021, and I concluded I was aegosexual; thought "while I'm here at the big box store, now that I've finished in the sexuality aisle I may as well check the gender aisle" and put words to how I'd always felt about my gender: cis-by-default or "cis-genderless male". I decided to present neutrally online, but I wondered why and how anyone would present neutrally *offline*, heard about agender people, and wondered what the difference in subjective experience was between that and cis-by-default. Over the following week I read trans memes on reddit, and then I saw transition timelines the day after my 36th birthday and thought "if trans people can do *that*, whatever *I* need must be achievable too"; that night at midnight I learned I'd had dysphoria since my teens. (Also, seeing all this I subconsciously learned that being trans didn't have to make you a pariah.) I frantically studied and tried to piece together my gender like a paleontologist digging up bone fragments. I speedran to HRT in 44 days, and by 2 months my identity had slid from 'agender' to 'girl'. So I kind of skipped the "I'm not a *real* trans" and closeted phases myself; as soon as I found out the potion of gender-bending was *real*, I sought it out. I had too many memories to doubt my trans-ness, only whether transition would *work*. So that's my journey, briefly…
@OctaviaConAmore @vyr @h5e @zmbush @rooster I'm new at this, having thought I was a boy until 20 months ago; I don't go out of my way to look for eggs but sometimes I find someone who just clearly wants to be a girl so badly it pulls on my heartstrings, and sometimes a friend says some stuff that makes me want to encourage them to explore...
But also, now I just have to post this:
@OctaviaConAmore @vyr @h5e @zmbush @rooster A story in one image:
(Bless you, @MNNHNewsEnglish, for the timing of that headline...)
(Bless you, @MNNHNewsEnglish, for the timing of that headline...)
@OctaviaConAmore Just wanted to say thank you for complimenting my shitpost 
@rooster @OctaviaConAmore @h5e @vyr @zmbush I know a cis guy with this power, he was pretty freaked out at first but he learned to accept his curse/blessing and now gives no fucks after the first three or four dozen times 😌
April 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈:FCKAFD::bst:
Wormbrain
Mouse
Keira Incognita @keira_incognita doooo iiiiiit
Ursidinoj/The Bjornsdottirs@keira_incognita @vyr Ngl Anakin looks kinda fem here
Rachel
Eth@vyr @rooster fun story: I used be surprised that people struggled with using their offhand for simple tasks like brushing their teeth or so. then I broke my right arm, and had to use my left arm exclusively for a few months, writing cursive and all.
you know that chart that goes around about the comparable rise in rates of lefthandedness and trans people coming out after both were destigmatized ? I realized I was left-handed a decade after starting HRT.
Purecore Deluxe 🏳️🌈@rooster Around middle school, I used to assume all girls secretly found boys bodies disgusting and were just accepting sex as a way to form connections. (So yeah, every sane boy should wish to be a girl rather than obsess on who has the biggest penis, sorry biceps and bike)
(Yes, that could have led me to become a very twisted individual, glad it didn't, at least I hope so)
Emily 🏳️⚧️@rooster I feel the same, mostly because I can't fathom wanting to be a dude.
But I've met some lovely trans men who clearly do and the joy and euphoria is the same. It's amazing to see. :)
@EmilyGB20 seeing trans men thrive with testosterone and masculinity is the surest proof that those things aren’t evil, just not for me.
@rooster Right?
It's not for me, but I cannot deny the joy and happiness they take in it -- anymore than they would deny ours with estrogen.
So I avoid the "testosterone is poison" and go with "I was running on the wrong fuel".
And now that my engine is running on the right stuff, goodness -- it's amazing.
Faith 
@EmilyGB20 @rooster I find listening to trans dudes' experiences really healing.
Growing up, there were so many things I hated like when my aunts would buy me nice guy clothes. I would wear them once so my aunt could see i appreciated the gift and then hang it in the closet forever.
Every time I see a trans dude enjoying those things, it reminds me that my aunts really were trying to give me a good thing. It just wasn't a thing I wanted.
BexM@rooster @faithisleaping @EmilyGB20 Same! Something about seeing what masculinity can look like when it’s constructed from the ground up by guys who have had to actually fight for it and think about their relationship to it, the way it can be warm and generous and sturdy, is really heartwarming, even as it’s still very much not for me
Mari Jax (∞+1 of 47) 🏳️⚧️@EmilyGB20 @rooster I tend to go with "It's poison for me, but medicine for him and vice versa"
@rooster I mean why wouldn’t you?!
Joking aside, one of the “there were no signs” for me is that I absolutely cannot imagine how anyone wants to be trans masc. I understand it intellectually, and of course I don’t mean to imply it’s invalid or not real, but all my *feelings* go nope. You have breasts and *don’t* want them? You want a *penis*? Who wants a penis?! (except for the practicality) But that probably is analog to what some (trans or cis) masc people feel about wanting to be trans femme