Dear cis friends: please stop telling us that hard times will only make us stronger?
We're already required to be strong, just to overcome the barriers you allow to be in our way to just living as ourselves. And if you're not fighting against it, then yeah, you're pretty much for it. It's not a place there is a moral middle position. Either we get to live, or we don't. I feel confident in saying that when history looks back on us, they will not say "woo, those centrists really helped trans people to stay alive!"
We already have to be brave, because people who are quite like you make our lives difficult and sometimes terrifying.
We are already resilient, and you can tell, because *we're still standing*. Resilience is our necessary state to live in your world.
We don't need your help being any of those things.
We need your help making it so we *don't* have to be those things. So we can be ordinary people who get to be sad and angry and happy and just live our lives in peace.
So please...if you're moved to honour a trans person's bravery, strength, or resilience in living our truth, consider for a moment what you are acknowledging in saying those things. You're saying "I know it's bad for you, and here's my advice on how to endure."
I want you to say, "It's bad for you? HOLY SHIT I HAD NO IDEA! GET ME A DAMN SIGN, STAT! WE MARCH AT DAWN!"
The big question I get when teaching people about being trans is "what can I do to be a good ally?"
I always say the same thing. DO something. Speak up. Call your representative. Organise. Protest. Say things when you hear people deride us. Call out bigotry when you hear it.
There's a hundred things you can do. Start by always remembering that being an ally is a verbal phrase. It focuses on the verb. "BEING". Not "having been". Not "once showed it". BEING. EXISTING. as an ally.
When it's part of your existence, then I'll call you ally.