Mack ⚡️Dec 13, 2022
Ken White

The scene: The Bahamas. A courtroom.
Judge: Sir, in a conditional arrest proceeding the first step is to establish identity. Do you admit or deny you are the same Sam Bankman-Fried charged in this indictment?

SBF: Yes I am the person who did all those things

Judge: No, I mean . . .

SBF: Each and every one

Judge: I think you . . .

SBF: Should I go paragraph by paragraph

Dec 13, 2022 at 3:51pmMastodon for iOS
Show threadProkofyDec 13, 2022
@Popehat Narcissism is often co-morbid with low self-esteem.
Show threadLong TruongDec 13, 2022
@Popehat Maybe they should do a DNA test to see if he's actually secretly Rudy Guliani's large adult child.
Show threadDan SugalskiDec 13, 2022
@Popehat Someone should probably tell him that Rudy Giuliani isn't actually a great model to use when talking about criming in public.
Show threadDirk HohndelDec 13, 2022
@Popehat
Satire is getting hard to do with this individual. Because... That could be a transcript.
What gave it away was that you didn't add "and I'll work tirelessly to return all this money I stole"
Show threadKevin SoursDec 13, 2022
@dirkhh @Popehat
Well that and it's "in court" and not "on CNN"
Show threadThat Anonymous CowardDec 13, 2022
@Popehat
Show threadDanDec 13, 2022
@Popehat I hope his extradition is like your Hawaii story where the feds require a high speed yacht to go get him and bring him back to the States.
Show threadStixDec 13, 2022
@Popehat I have a question. Are you not following anyone for a reason?
Show threadKen WhiteDec 13, 2022
@SecondStix I'm folllowing 174 people right now. A display issue?
Show threadStixDec 13, 2022
@Popehat Yes, Sir. Your profile says you are following 0 ( zero) people. Some sort of digital clerical error, perhaps?
Show threadKen WhiteDec 13, 2022
@SecondStix Not for me.
Show threadStixDec 13, 2022
@Popehat Indeed, it must be my instance that is not showing followers. My apologies.
Show threadottoflux ☕️Dec 13, 2022
@SecondStix @Popehat since things are federated (you’re on different servers in this case) you won’t always see the full count. for that go to their account URL like this: https://mastodon.social/@popehat
Show threadStixDec 13, 2022
@ottoflux Thank you for the clarification and the link. It's clear I have a lot to learn about the Fediverse.
Show threadottoflux ☕️Dec 13, 2022
@SecondStix there’s a learning curve but i’m finding it’s worth it. ☺️
Show threadChristopher White Dec 13, 2022
@Popehat SBF: oh wait, you missed a few things here…
Show threadIt's still Just JasonDec 13, 2022
@Popehat Is he related to Rudy Giuliani?
Show threadMichael GemarDec 13, 2022
@Popehat SelfIncriminationHat
Show threadTom Bellin Dec 13, 2022
@Popehat SBF's best defense is probably that everyone he defrauded was in on the scam.
Show threademmasrandomthoughtsDec 13, 2022
@Popehat
At what point do his lawyers gag him?
Show threadOther than that. hi!Dec 13, 2022
@emmasrandomthoughts @Popehat They probably all died of acute alcohol poisoning after the Andrew Ross Sorkin interview
Show threadAndrew FDec 13, 2022

@Popehat

Lawyer: OK, I want you to answer as little of the question as possible. If I say, do you have the time, you just say yes or no, do you understand?

SBF: I think so.

Lawyer: Do you have the time?

SBF: Are we talking about the time I committed securities fraud or commodities fraud?

Lawyer: My rate just doubled.

Show threadJay KellyDec 13, 2022
Can Michael Avenatti serve as his defense attorney via a jail cell zoom call?
Show threadDave's tootsDec 13, 2022
@Popehat maybe his strategy his to be so incompetent, even in his own defence, that a jury will eventually come to the conclusion that he obviously didn’t know what he was doing the entire time 😅
Show threadChris HarrisDec 13, 2022
@Popehat I like the conspiracy theory that Biden had SBF arrested to shut him up, as if anyone could shut up SBF
Show threadThinkingSapienDec 13, 2022
@Popehat - there was a documentary on an ex-AT&T engineer that had been making devices that were used for some organized crime entities. The engineer wasn’t of much interest to the prosecutor and they were not putting much effort into questioning him. But when asked some simple identity question, he identified as the person responsible for making the devices used for the crimes (that’s not what they asked him!). He may as well have prosecuted himself.
Show threadThinkingSapienDec 13, 2022

@Popehat “Genius, on hold” was the name of the documentary.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-reviews/film-review-genius-hold-425538/

Genius on Hold: Film Review

The interests of capitalism, government and organized crime collide in the true-life tragedy of inventor Walter Shaw.

The Hollywood Reporter
Show threadPam PhillipsDec 13, 2022
@Popehat He sounds like a Pirahna brother. #MontyPython
Show threadSteve TorrenteDec 13, 2022
@Popehat "We called our slack channel 'Wirefraud,' if that helps."
Show threadUnclefishbits / HHotelconsultDec 13, 2022
@Popehat is there any chance you have a list of other people that have started committing to Mastodon? It would be very helpful to get the ball rolling, knowing other people we should be following. Cheers to you.
Show threadZoomer AntimillenarianDec 13, 2022
@Popehat SBF is to clients as Rudy is to lawyers.
Show threadZoomer AntimillenarianDec 13, 2022
@Popehat At this point, whoever gets SBF's case is gonna be an automatic "Long Suffering Federal Judge."
Show threadJustin BuistDec 13, 2022
@Popehat I enjoy the contrast between explainers on how white collar crimes to hard to charge with SBF just being so incredibly bad at criming they're already charging him.
Show threadMatt BlazeDec 13, 2022
@Popehat "Raised by law professors" doesn't seem to be the advantage you'd think it might be here.
Show threadJoshua Herzig-MarxDec 13, 2022
@Popehat At this point, I wonder if this is his strategy. Something something stay alive by being careful he's arrested by trustworthy police? He must have pissed off some very dangerous people, right?
Show threadLive, Laugh, LovecraftDec 13, 2022
@Popehat I feel bad for whoever advised him to STFU.
Show threadSTEMTheBleedingDec 13, 2022

@Livelaughlovecraft @Popehat That would be every lawyer, paralegal, and judge who's commented on this.

The one thing they all have in common, is they all told, no, begged - him to shut up.

And he just can't help himself.

Show threadBJ KennedyDec 13, 2022
@Popehat We need SBF represented by Giuliani.
Show threadJhooperDec 13, 2022
@Popehat Maybe he figures that by cooperating that he will benefit in some fashion.
Show threadGreg GadrenDec 13, 2022
@Popehat I don't remember if judges there wear wigs or not but His Lordship's hair is gonna be white by the end of that either way.
Show threadComfortably_DumbDec 13, 2022

@Popehat

Judge: and we understand that you have hired, Mr. Giuliani as your counsel.

SBF: Yes, your honor.

Judge: Are you sure?

SBF: He's assured me he has the highest conviction rate of all of the defense attorneys in the tri-state area.

*Rudy nods and fistbumps SBF*

Show threaddklokeDec 13, 2022
@Popehat
seems rational considering his experience is that when people hear about him they throw money at him
Show threadMyrha Cheval 🦆Dec 13, 2022
@Popehat I'm so glad you're here, Ken. I need these posts of yours.
Show threadPaul ArmstrongDec 13, 2022
@Popehat It's refreshing to see someone own up to their actions. Especially
after the debacle of 2008 where most of the chief executives simply got richer.
Show threadalliemattDec 13, 2022
@Popehat
Show threadalliemattDec 13, 2022
@Popehat I’m a legal proofreader. I would love to proofread this court proceeding!
Show threadJakeDec 13, 2022
@Popehat I heard that he had a one-way ticket back to the US and his TSA pre-check all cleared, bags packed, and a "dunce" note on his back.
Show threadJames M Branum יעקב מתתיהו ☮Dec 13, 2022

@Popehat wow...

I assume he must be going with an insanity defense, based on this set of responses. Who in their right mind would admit to charges without first trying to reach a plea deal?

Show threadMorganDec 14, 2022
@Popehat
Show threadDan Curtis JohnsonDec 14, 2022
@Popehat I feel bad for whichever Bahamanian cop was the first to sit down and say, "This is just a friendly chat, Sam, we'd like to hear your side of the story" and like five hours later is banging on the inside of the interview room door begging the other officers to let him out.
Show threadMichael RawdonDec 14, 2022
@crisperthanthou @Popehat “My brain is Fried!”
Show threadThe Almighty Tallest 🇺🇦Dec 14, 2022
@Popehat Rudy's dream client