Damien OwensHad a tough day on Facebook. I still don’t know what you’re supposed to comment under a photo of a new baby, but I’ve learned it isn’t ‘Yikes’.
pab_odg@damienowens LOL, too good.
@pab_odg Hooray!
James H McLaren@damienowens I enjoy the “Guess the weight of the baby” stuff. How the hell should I know. For me it’s like
“Guess how much the baby weighed.”
“Eight ounces.”
“Babies weigh more than that, silly!”
“Fifty pounds.”
“Guess how much the baby weighed.”
“Eight ounces.”
“Babies weigh more than that, silly!”
“Fifty pounds.”
ཀ།༨ཇ ་།་འ།སབཇའ@damienowens @JamesHMcLaren “what’s wrong? I’m applying binary search to get the correct answer as efficiently as possible”
Barbara
Mike Morris@damienowens "I always knew you had it in you" is a personal favourite
Schroedinger@MikeMorris @damienowens I know of someone (this is third hand) when he told his work colleagues he had children, one of them replied "I don't think you had it in you".
That Dave Bloke 💙🇪🇺🇬🇧🇺🇦@damienowens Oh that's the best laugh I've had all day!
Scott@damienowens That's a good response. I commend this jokery.
Anglophyl@damienowens Try "Wowza!" Could be taken either way. 🤷♀️
Mary Beth Frezon@Anglophyl @damienowens sometimes a nice "awwwww" covers all bases.
CharliDuffy6@damienowens 😬 I’m guessing.
Kevin Teljeur ❄️
Jack@damienowens none of the following seem to go down too well either-
A) 8 billion and 1
B) it’s probably too late to point out that the greatest thing you can do to reduce your carbon emissions is to not have kids
C) please stop there
A) 8 billion and 1
B) it’s probably too late to point out that the greatest thing you can do to reduce your carbon emissions is to not have kids
C) please stop there
SimonHendy@damienowens I find that comparing them to Winston Churchill works well - they all look like him.
Chris@damienowens If the child is ugly, you say, "Aww. He must look like his father"
A Muttley Crew
RedDave14@damienowens You could try: “Wow, what a “beautiful” baby…”
Custard Smingleigh@damienowens apparently "very realistic" is out too. And when they tell you the weight and length it is IMPOSSIBLE to calculate the density if they don't also give volume!
Justin Fitzsimmons@damienowens try "oof" next time
Bert Latamore
Paul Jacobson@damienowens I usually avoid pronouns because it can be tricky to determine gender without clear indicators, so something like "Very cute" followed by a compatible emoji usually works.
I can see how "Yikes!" can be problematic so perhaps configure an auto-correct from "Yikes!" to "Gorgeous!" or the aforementioned "Very cute", "So cute", our just "Cute".
Catherine@damienowens Ha ha! I love it.. It’s like those people who constantly bombard you with photos of their kids doing this and that and I stare at the photos and I just never know what to reply! Hard to muster up words sometimes 😆
Jon Campbell 
@damienowens I always go with "hope you like screaming" or "don't forget to feed and water that"
GuyDawson@damienowens one down, about 300,000 words to go to get a full data set.
Wuggerhumphden@damienowens "Did you keep the receipt" - also not popular.
Jen Newmeyer, CFRE@damienowens This made me literally LOL. 😂
neutronstar21
Boots 2: the ReAnnamation@damienowens right? can't call it ugly, can't call it sexy, just show me the list of preapproved responses Tim 🙄
Quokka 🇦🇺@damienowens My favourite is when you are told the name. Responding with "is that a family name?" is wrong. Apparently.
Photoist♾️@damienowens
Just an fyi, "what the hell is that" .....also not an appropriate response 😀
Just an fyi, "what the hell is that" .....also not an appropriate response 😀
Elizabeth Moore🇨🇦
MikeUnderscoreDadJokes@damienowens
Rookie mistake. It’s spelled “Yoikes!”
Rookie mistake. It’s spelled “Yoikes!”
Kansas Grant@damienowens Similarly, I learned the hard way that "Who's the father?" is best kept to myself.
GoldenGirlsRu@damienowens @TheShoeYes Enjoy your little tax deduction for 18yrs.
ScatalogicAI@damienowens
"I thought goblin changelings were a myth."
"I thought goblin changelings were a myth."
🦕 Kimbo 🍍🍕💛@damienowens let me add to your knowledge by sharing that when people are discussing the potential sex of a baby-to-be, or banging on about gender reveal parties, the correct response is *not*, "let me know if it's a puppy". Apparently.
🌟lyssa🌟@damienowens I've learned that commenting it looks like the milkman usually doesn't go over well, either.
sarahgb@damienowens 🤣🤣🤣 I've often thought it 😈
Madison on the Air podcast@damienowens “I’m so sorry it looks like you.”
Kat K 🐾🐾@damienowens Sometimes it’s best to just move on to the next post without a comment and be thankful you weren’t looking at the infant in real life, with the parents staring right at you looking for any ‘tell’ that you’re lying.
NiciHW🦋
Milcom Miasma@damienowens Sadly my experience taught me another lesson for that situation. Park an absolutely neutral expression on your face and *keep* it there for as long as you're looking at the baby. Trust me, you *are* being watched and there will be consequences. 😄
SuperTwaddle@damienowens Unless it’s twins or triplets, a single yike will suffice
Chris Withers@damienowens entirely appropriate. Babies don’t get cute until at least 3-4 months. Don’t let the man get you down.
SarahBCalif@damienowens Once I found myself sorta speechless and said to my friend: “It’s a BABY!” (oops)