buddy holly
only a cis deals in absolutes
plethora
jesus
discourse from the year 2043
frieza's greatest power
the bird on the branch
tumblr discourse sampler
1000nipples
sasha the christmas tiger
pickle
interspecies romance
imitation seawater (too long to fully alt-text, screenreader users can enjoy the whole thing here: https://elodieunderglass.tumblr.com/post/673574124323586048/derinthescarletpescatarian )
ELODIEUNDERGLASS

Well, there’s another few steps, of course. Because at some point, operating along lines of logic that worked out perfectly so far, you did decide to be a mammal. A mammal is a machine for adapting...

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try not to cum
what the hell is in your mouth
jaws
how to summon a concerned lesbian
with the vampire
when peace comes at last, children play on the old battlefields and don't think of what came before them
joker would be so f...
bourdain
minions
what is left
can't believe i didn't realise i was gay right then
arise,
bear market
buppy
navy
top advice
the ideological opposite of a catgirl
pilot
nothing wrong with me
just like in anime
understanding a newspaper political cartoon
werewolf youtuber
peaceio
tinder
fingers in his ass sunday
promhe/theyus
ways to look more angelic
breadsts
pedestrian
anti-italian rules
we come to cum
scrumptious darling boy
ska punk forever
if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the devil, eventually he may answer
exceeding all expectations
the emperor's new clothes but in reverse
studying for the bechdel test
joan of arc
new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
tumblr learns about the big wide world: a collection
you dropped your dick, man
bear 4 bear content
salukis
task failed successfully
richard dawkins
mad dad hour
debussy
message to all bitches
@stavvers this makes me even angrier about the fact that we spent half of my first ever music lesson in school learning the correct way to draw a treble clef.
@stavvers oh god this is brilliant!
@susan_lanigan If I ever met OP, I would not just shake her hand, but curtsey to her
@stavvers I so madly want them to get married
British scientists don't like Richard Dawkins, finds study that didn't even ask questions about Richard Dawkins | The Independent

The investigation into science's public image didn't even ask about the atheist professor, but it got an answer anyway

The Independent
@stavvers he’s become a bit of an embarrassment to the atheist movement.
@stavvers
*Extremely GLaDOS voice*
That's what it says. "A horrible person." We weren't even testing for that.
@stavvers @AntonPNym "I wasn't even testing for that." - GLaDOS
@stavvers when he has been as much of an arrogant hateful douche as he has for so long, it is zero percent surprising.
@stavvers how is this one like 95% of my scrapes in my 20s??
@BethanyBlack The Universal Lesbian Condition

@stavvers weirdly I once tried chatting up a woman and fucked it up so badly as one thing led to another her husband left her for me, and I spent 6 months in a relationship with the guy.

I’m so glad in the end I married my flatmate who I could UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DATE, according to all my friends.

@BethanyBlack I am shaking, this is such a fucking mood, I have never been *quite* so bad but I applaud you

@stavvers I adore this post so much.

And to the first reply I had kind of the opposite happen, I once ordered a huge silicone gun because I had some large sized tubes of sealant, and the seller wrapped it as such that it looked like I’d bought a 24” dildo with an 8” girth. The postman thought it was hilarious

@stavvers that last comment, 🤣😂, poor guy. 🤗
@stavvers politely but awkwardly returning someone's lost dick is what it means to live in a society.
@stavvers nudging a lost dick over with barely a word is peak masc solidarity

@stavvers
Missus and I were once discussing the (new to us) concept of being unipolar and she pauses for a second, growls "I feel shitty" then flexes like she's about to go Super Saiyan and adds "REAL SHITTY!" and that's kinda what those stories remind me of.

It also nearly made me cough up a lung laughing.

@stavvers that is brilliant ​:amongus_hyper_kiss:​
@stavvers This is deviously clever in the best ways.
@stavvers proudly shared by the C*nt Council I see
@stavvers the message I'm receiving is "do not trust people who don't put garlic in everything", which I find reasonable
@stavvers this says to me that Italy historically had a huge vampire problem at one time and they centred their entire culture around eradicating them all.