itsa me 🌻Nov 20, 2022
Curmudgeon

There seems to be a lot of misconceptions about how to set up Mastodon.

1. You do not have to sacrifice a duck. Any waterfowl will do.
2. The bit about dancing around naked in a forest glade? While dancing is fun, you may just walk.
3. When the demon appears, you needn’t chant in Latin. It is fluent in all languages.

The rest of the guide is correct.

Nov 18, 2022 at 8:11amWeb
Show threadFirehorseart Lives!Nov 19, 2022

@jetton
About these steps to set up #Mastodon, there are variations for people who don't want to harm animals and people with disabilities

Therefore you can also

1. Draw/find a picture of the Horned God on paper and burn it
Or cast the image into Twitter, as that's already on πŸ”₯
2. Add fresh herbs to your next meal. Healthy living is an important part of the fediverse experience.
3. Schedule the demonic visit for when you have enough spoons and observe social distancing.

Show threadClare 🐻Nov 20, 2022

@srfirehorseart @jetton

Does it count if I drew the horned GODDESS instead? I wasn't sure πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Show threadDaisy, Cybernetic NoviceNov 20, 2022
@CGBrooding @srfirehorseart @jetton
absolutely yes!
Show threadClare 🐻Nov 20, 2022
@daisy @srfirehorseart @jetton
hehehe
Show threadNeil CameronNov 20, 2022
@CGBrooding @srfirehorseart @jetton I drew a horny Goddess and then got ummm "distracted"...
Show threadClare 🐻Nov 20, 2022

@Option1 @srfirehorseart @jetton

Didn't make it to step 2, did you Neil? No wonder your mastodon won't work right πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Show threadFirehorseart Lives!Nov 20, 2022

@CGBrooding @Option1 @jetton

This got a laugh out of me today.

I imagine that misinterpreting the steps might have some unforeseen consequences. πŸ˜‚

https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7TKRGotr1Lt1m1Jm/giphy.gif

GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment - Find & Share on GIPHY

Β© FOX 2018

GIPHY
Show thread@Lee_in_IowaNov 20, 2022
@srfirehorseart @jetton Sup with the Devil… long spoon. Got it. πŸ₯„
Show threadFirehorseart Lives!Nov 20, 2022

@Lee_in_Iowa @jetton

Long spoons might help. The more the better. πŸ₯„ πŸ₯„
It's worth a try!

Show threadJosh Liebster final_FINAL.pptxNov 20, 2022

@srfirehorseart @jetton I feel I should have known this before I decided to set up all those Mastodon bots. Now I'll have to cancel my bulk order from my local duck farmer.

Asking for a friend, though: How does one ghost a demon?

Show threadFirehorseart Lives!Nov 20, 2022

@jlobster @jetton

Q. "How does one ghost a demon?" πŸ‘»

A. Very carefully!

Show threadMorganWolfeNov 20, 2022
@srfirehorseart @jetton I always β™₯️ when people know the spoons reference. πŸ‘
Show threadFirehorseart Lives!Nov 20, 2022

@MorganWolfe @jetton

Spoonies unite!

But maybe a nap first, because pacing is important.

😴 

Show threadFirehorseart Lives!Nov 23, 2022

@jetton

Setting up #Mastodon > Steps 4 - 6

https://ohai.social/@srfirehorseart/109392798378325472

srfirehorseart :verified: (@[email protected])

More tips for new #Mastodon users (I'm new too!) :fediverse: 4. Add a profile image & description, so we have a picture for your shrine. :ablobcatheart: 5. Burning sage to drive out evil spirits is only needed on the hellsite. :birdsite: Here you just Boost (RT) your favourite posts :boost_ok: 6. The Horned God has poor eyesight. To prevent your images being mistakenly viewed as an insult - add #alttext (captions) to your pictures #Feditip #mastotip

ohai.social
Show threadCΓ©sar Pallares Nov 19, 2022
@jetton But if I chant in Spanish, for example, the demon will still consider me as an intelligen person? Or does that just apply for chants in Latin or Greek?
Show threadNanPookaNov 19, 2022
@jetton
Not true! The demon I summoned didn't fancy KFC, muttered "vehemenaces" at me, flexed a bit and demanded I order from Swiss Chalet. It had a barely passable knowledge of Cornish, though its command of ancient Sumerian was quite lyrical. Me thinks it was newly spawned to Mastodon and had yet to get its dainty little cloven toes "wet" or more than just a wee bit worn. Waiting for my Amazon" Amulet of Multiple Resurrections"(tm) to arrive before I attempt The Guide's advanced recs.
πŸ˜‰
Show threadoktoputzig πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆNov 19, 2022

@jetton now I know where I went wrong. I did the following:

1. Settle down on couch
2. Summon the dig
3. Cuddle the dog

That was it. Oh, and play with my smartphone after that.

Show threadstd::polarNov 20, 2022
@oktoputzig It's nice we have the edit buttin here 🀨
Show threadoktoputzig πŸ³οΈβ€πŸŒˆNov 22, 2022
@sehe Doesn't work on every app. I see my mistake now.
Show threadclarissaNov 20, 2022
@jetton oh, sorry, as a vegan can I sacrifice some nice tofu or fake meat instead? thanks for the technical support
Show threadMark CrockerNov 21, 2022
@left_adjoint @jetton I would have thought you would sacrifice a Tofurkey <https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tofurkey> πŸ˜‚πŸ¦ƒ
Tofurkey - Wikipedia

Show threadMr. Pataphor, Dadaist DadNov 20, 2022
@jetton Follow up with an appropriate Tweet-exorcism. Being nice, helpful, supportive, and inclusive are very effective measures in casting out negativity & memories of demonic Muskites.
Show threadJeff the AlienNov 20, 2022

@jetton

πŸ˜œβ€‹ however, if you do not, and I'm quoting @jerry here, if you do not hate computers after successfully setting up Mastodon then go back to where the demon appears and repeat.

Show threadGail Barnes Ph.D.Nov 20, 2022
@hackdefendr @jetton @jerry I lived through Windows 95 ... the good old days when I reinstalled it almost every day ...
Show threadKarel P KerezmanNov 20, 2022

@jetton Wait what's this about duck sacrifices?

I thought it was currently rabbit season.

Show threadPamNov 20, 2022
@jetton
I have just found the advice of using different apps for iPad and now it looks more like the bird app…familiarity is comforting.
I went with Metatext (free)
Show threadHeather (she/her)Nov 20, 2022
@pm_mcdaniel @jetton I'm using Tusky and it looks very similar to the bird app.
Show threadTibbettsNov 20, 2022
@jetton The demon will also take Halloween candy and a fiddle contest if you don't know the chant.
Show threadMichèle SharikNov 20, 2022
@tibbetts Does the fiddle contest have to happen in Georgia?
Show threadRidiculous GingerNov 20, 2022
@ladysun1969 @tibbetts no, you can use a vpn and just pretend you’re in Georgia.
Show threadMichèle SharikNov 21, 2022
@crazygingerlady @tibbetts *whew!* That's a relief!
Show threadDr. Christine WongNov 20, 2022
@jetton I guess I'll return all of those extra ducks then!
Show threadPeriNov 20, 2022
@jetton
Are lanterns and pitchforks permitted?
Show threadstd::polarNov 20, 2022
@Peri_Jnet Again, with proper CWs
Show threadSmooheed Nov 20, 2022
@jetton this is glorious
Show threadJDNov 20, 2022
@jetton So, like… I see you say we can walk instead of dance. I appreciate your focus on safety, but can we still be naked?
Show threadLarry Nov 20, 2022
@jetton *now* you tell us...
Show threadJBoneNov 20, 2022
@jetton Just watched The Wicker Man. I was planning something equally bonfirerific.
Show threadTy Smith  Nov 20, 2022
@jetton so a standard Kubernetes deploy? Got it.
Show threadShady JadeNov 20, 2022
@jetton I've often wondered why the fixation on Latin. I don't remember Romans making any particular linguistic pact with the underworld or anything. Unless the fall of the Roman Empire was all the contracts running out and coming due.
Show threadClare 🐻Nov 20, 2022
@jetton
πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚β­οΈ
Show thread453289Nov 20, 2022
@jetton I think I did it wrong. Should I do over or can I fill out some kind of form to apply for a reprieve? I saw @god a few posts back maybe he can help me.
Show threadEmmanuel TouzeryNov 20, 2022
@jetton i wish i had heard about the dancing earlier 😠 it's slippery in november here with all the dampness
Show threadJos noemt het gewoon melkNov 20, 2022
@jetton
2. Still naked though?
Show threadAndrea MandalNov 20, 2022
@jetton oh thank goodness, I’m terrible at dancing
Show threadTheta SigmaNov 20, 2022
@jetton even Klingon?
Show threadfuzzfaceNov 20, 2022
@jetton @ellotheth If you are south of the Mason-Dixon Line in the United States you may substitute a chicken πŸ” but a hot pepper rub should be applied before the sacrifice. This is very difficult with a live chicken since they tend to sneeze.
Show threadenigmajx #FBPE #FBPPRNov 20, 2022
@jetton sacrificing a blue bird is also optional.
Show threadMuradNov 20, 2022
@jetton so this goat I bought off the guy on crypto.bros who said I needed it?
Show threadRidiculous GingerNov 20, 2022
@ElHadjiMurad @jetton crap, is the goat purple with green legs?
Otherwise it won’t work πŸ₯΄
Show threadMuradNov 20, 2022
@crazygingerlady @jetton aw what? I've been robbed by some kid [goat joke]
Show threadAmo a Sam amatNov 20, 2022
@jetton Phew. Have only a Grebe available to me here.
Show threadPaul H 🏴󠁧󠁒󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿πŸ‡ͺπŸ‡ΊNov 20, 2022
@jetton It's a bit cold here for 2
Show threadGroschiNov 20, 2022
@jetton Phew! I'm so not a dancer. Especially when naked in the forest.
Show threadKberkiNov 20, 2022

@jetton
Extremely helpful- thanks.

If I’m a vegan, can I just release the duck or other bird unharmed?

Doo the demons like cookies?

Show threadJinsheiNov 20, 2022
@jetton can we use an egg as the sacrifice as long as it is fresh? #discworld
Show threadSpliceFixer   Nov 20, 2022
@jetton I generated an AI duck to sacrifice, then did the Nut Bush. When the demon appeared, its head was floating above its body and kept trying to face the opposite direction to where it was walking. It couldn’t speak due to the lack of a larynx, and I’m not sure if the things on the sides of its head were ears or socks. Should I try a different AI generated duck?
Show threadEmerson NovaisNov 20, 2022
@jetton best part is I find this with 666 boosts.
Show threadRasmus VuoriNov 20, 2022
@jetton
1. Do waders count? They walk in shallow water after all.
2. If I prefer to perform a butoh, will the body paint count as not being properly naked?
3. Demon? I expected a daemon and was going to chant regular expressions through shell scripts!
Show threadDrFrascatoreNov 20, 2022
@jetton <puts dead duck down and looks disappointed>