Probably one of the most common refrains I have is "question your thinking". I get a lot of push back on it because people are afraid of what's in their heads. They are afraid the ego will get in there and mess with everything. The mind is a scary place to hang out, right?

Here's the deal: You're in control of that. Your mind is not in charge. I don't care what it tries to tell you, it is not in charge. You are. You have to decide to stay in control of what your mind is doing or not doing. You get to shut that old thought pattern down anytime you want. You do not have to agree with, buy into, or accept anything your mind tells you.

You are not your mind. You are not the voice in your head. You are able to observe these things from the "outside". You can "watch yourself" in your own life. You can "watch" your own thinking and then find a perspective that doesn't offer you more pain.

But who makes up that new story?

We're not telling a story and we're not spinning the old story. We're learning to understand ourselves. Why do we think that way? Why do we feel like that?

What happens when we do that? The mind jumps to defending the problem. I feel like this because of all these external things that happened. Those are the stories that you need to shut down. They aren't true. I don't care what happened in the external world. It doesn't matter at all because it's not about the external world. It's about the pain you picked up. The pain is the lie. The pain is the thing you need to let go of. The pain is what got into your perspective, caused it to be all warped, and made you think you needed to defend yourself and the pain you picked up.

The simple truth is that you get to make your own choices, do your own thing, go after that goal, and make that thing happen. You don't need to defend yourself, the pain, or the problems to do it. You just have to decide that you're no longer going to tell yourself the stories of pain and that you're going to stop blaming the external world for the pain you're still hanging onto.

The focus is on yourself within the experience. The focus is not on external circumstances or problems. The focus is on you and what you think about everything within your experience including yourself.

It's not about the experience, it's about what you do with the experience within yourself. You are in control of that. Your mind is not. It's a conscious choice to decide what to do with each experience you have in your life.

When you perceive an experience is causing you pain, then you have to make a conscious choice of what to do with that. More than likely it is your perception of the experience that is the problem, not the experience itself. When you take conscious control over this then you drop your perception of the story and you shift it so that you can understand where the pain came from. Hint: The pain is within you already, it's not out there in the experience. You connected that experience to existing pain and now you have to make the choice to undo that, gain control over it, and change what you do with that experience.

The connection to the pain is an unconscious thing that happens automatically. Your awareness of your own feelings allows you to take control over this. You feel the pain and now you make a choice. The external experience triggered old pain. Why? What do I need to heal? Guess what? Your experience is now talking to you. It showed you the pain you needed to heal within yourself. It's not about what just happened, it's about what it triggered within you.
Now you can take conscious control. Now you figure out where the pain came from by dropping the external experience because it doesn't matter. What is the external experience showing you?

Don't defend the problem. Don't defend the pain. Don't defend the crappy perspective. Manage your thinking. Get the ego out of the way.

Your willingness to accept what the mind does is what keeps you stuck. You don't have to do that. It's a choice.

You don't want to make that choice though because it stops you from being able to blame the outside world for everything.

The choice requires you to decide to take your responsibility for yourself, your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions at all times. No more blaming the outside world for how you feel. It's all up to you.

And that's scary. It causes fear. It causes you to defend the problem of taking control over your mind because the ego might get in the way.

Note to self: If you're defending the problem the ego is already in the way. When are you going to deal with the fear of changing that?

Love to all.

Della

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