You know, its kinda funny in a way how everybody will tell you communication is about treating everyone like you would yourself, when in a lot of situations when dealing with neurodivergences that's really bad advice because it can lead to assuming that every single other creature must at some level think of things like you do, which might be badly off base if you're dealing with something that the creatures you're talking with don't,

One thing i noticed with myself that helped with working things through with others is very actively reminding myself that the things I see in others and in situations, is often not the behaviour the vast majority of others have to a situation, so for instance from my AVPD arse's perspective, if you scare a creature once they never trust you again, because that's kinda how it is with me,

But uh....most others seem to pretty regularly forget i even did something i thought was scaring them badly with
And over time I started like....essentially projecting an image of what i expect others would actually think rather than what i would think, as a way to suppress that initial impulse of "oh god i scared them for good",

Advice that's built to assume being a neurotypical falls apart when you're neurodivergent, classic ^^"

#ActuallyAutistic #Neurodiversity #AVPD

Having avoidant personality disorder and being aware of it is like living out both sides of the social version of "We've tried nothing, and we're all out of ideas".

#AvPD

diagnosis stuff

even though i've improved a lot in some ways recently, i might finally bring up avpd to my therapist. i think i trust her to not judge me for asking at this point. but idk. i'm just not 100% sure, so i'm hesitant.

i'm also afraid she's just going to be like, "no, that's your RSD" and not even look into it. (she focuses a lot on rsd and uses it to explain a LOT of stuff.)

plus, if she did something like that, i don't think i have it in me to question her or argue with her. i'd probably just do my fawning response and say, "that makes sense" even if she says something that doesn't add up to me.

it's weird because i don't really know if i've been previously diagnosed with avpd or not. one psychiatrist suggested it and said she needed to get to know me better before she can confirm it. i saw her for a while after that, and i'm pretty sure she had a habit of diagnosing people without telling them about it. so idk if she eventually did that or not.

"Some with this disorder fantasize about idealized, accepting, and affectionate relationships because of their desire to belong. They often feel themselves unworthy of the relationships they desire, and shame themselves from ever attempting to begin them."

I'm in this Wikipedia article, and I don't like it.

#AvPD