Me:
"How did you get mud *in* your shoes?"

6-year-old:
"I was playing in the mud!"

#ShitMyKidSays

My kid, looking at me with disdain; "Is that your only clean shirt?"

Me: "No, it's one of my favourite shirts."

Kid, eyeing me warily; "Ok.."

Well, it WAS one of my favourite shirts. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

They always say to ask a drunk or a kid if you want the truth. If you want brutal honesty, ask an autistic kid. 😂

#neurospicylife #shitmykidsays
#parenting #neveradullmoment
#daddysgirl

@powerword I think your genetics are strong with this one! 😂

My kid: "When am I getting new stuff(supplies) for school this year?"

Me: "About mid-August, I have to wait to get a list from your teacher."

Kid:"Ugh..I hope it isn't all replaced with Halloween stuff by then."

..she's got a point.🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@powerword

#shitmykidsays #neurospicylife #parenting

Me: "We don't have money til payday."

Our kid, with trepidation: "In the Depression, no one had any money, and kids had to play with homemade toys made out of sugar sacks."

Me:"..that was a different thing entirely."

I sometimes forget how literally she takes things, due to her neurotype.

I then had to go on to discuss the #greatdepression and WW2, .all before finishing my coffee

Never a dull moment. Good thing I'm a history nerd.

@powerword

#shitmykidsays #AuDHD #neurospicylife

[at Shroom Coffee in #PortlandOR ]

Barista: It sounds like you know a lot about mushrooms. Do you know about the, you know, really big one here in Oregon?

14yo: Oh! You mean the huge Armillaria ostoyae in Eastern Oregon. It might weigh as much as 37,000 gigatons, and is 3,000 to 8,000 years old... [2 more minutes of facts as barista's eyes get wider]

#ShitMyKidSays #mushrooms #fungus #mycology

"That guy in the pink shorts looks like if Ryan Reynolds and Benedict Cumberbatch had a child who did drag."

-- 14yo making #airport observations

Note 1: none of this was derogatory. Said kid likes both actors and was admiring the person's fashion, "gorgeous eyelashes", and "soulful eyes." Being able to pull off drag is a badge of honor for this child.

Note 2: Setting the scene - to me the guy appeared solidly masculine-presenting: a 20something cis man with a good bit of Miami Vice in his fashion choices.

#ShitMyKidSays #fashion #eyes #genderpresentation

"When you're an immortal being that can still be killed, kindness isn't a long-term survival strategy; manipulation is."

• 14yo discussing similarities between Ann Leckie's The Raven Tower and mushrooms/fungus/mycelia

#ShitMyKidSays #mushrooms #fungus #mycology #sff

"Does 'half-blood prince' mean someone who is half blood and half prince?"

#ShitMyKidSays

Six year-old: "You know what I like better than TV?"

Me: "No, what?"

Her: "I'll give you a hint. It starts with 'R' and ends with 'T'."

Me: "Um... 'Rent'?"

Her: "No, art!"

#ShitMyKidSays