“The Passion of Sean Gillain” Full-length Chapter Preview
We’ve been hearing about you spurning Caeleb and Tim again, Sean.”
That was the topic of the dinner table as Uncle Jace brought up the matter after everyone sat down to eat (guest-starring the Merriweather aunt/niece duo). And needless to say, neither of my uncles or even their kids were happy to hear about my second encounter with the athletic jocks.
“That I did,” I admitted as I helped myself to the stir-fry that Uncle Javi helped prepared. “And I know that you guys want me to warm up to them, but I just can’t.”
“You mean, you won’t, just like you won’t even warm up to your brother,” Trevor pointed out, giving me a dirty look. “Dude, everyone’s trying to gibe you the benefit of the doubt with your new life here in Newport. But it’s like you’re intending to be cold or indifferent to everyone who you meet.”
“You just don’t understand,” I began to protest.
“Then help us try to understand,” Alyssa interrupted. “Make us see why you can’t give this new change of scenery a try or at least care more to try something new, never mind being friendly towards mine and Trevor’s friends.”
I sighed, unsure on how to answer that.
“That’s what we all thought,” Steffy stated. “Sean, you know the contract that you signed back in Macon is non-negotiable and it was supposed to help you be better than what you were when you were laid up in the hospital: emotionally unbalanced and mentally exhausted. And it was a better offer than you being with your older siblings or your parents.”
“Exactly,” Uncle Javi said as he motioned for everyone (except me) to resume eating. “And unless you want Jace and I to call up Dr. Patel and your parents as well as your grandparents to let them know that you’re not being fair, you need to do right and put your best efforts into this time here. It doesn’t have to be even big moments. Start small.”
I knew he was right. If everyone back in Georgia got wind of my time here so far and how I wasn’t playing ball, then it would give Daddy Dearest and his brood all the ammunition to get me back into their realm and be surrounded by them. And Lord knows, I do NOT want that to happen. “Fine,” I relented, “but I’m still going to avoid those two jocks.”
“Sean,” Uncle Jace said in warning.
“No, Uncle Jace. If I have to fall in line with this contract, I at least get to have one freedom and that includes steering clear of Trevor and Alyssia’s friends. They may mean well, but…”
I shook my head no, not wanting to finish that sentence and unleash the dark secrets of that particular Pandora’s box.
But Uncle Jace saw otherwise. “Do they remind you of your brother Ra’Keem?”
Damn that man. “More than you know, Uncle Jace. I know the truth about jocks built like tanks and have that swagger that turns people on and off: they may talk a good game and act friendly, but the moment they start showing their dark sides things go downhill. And I’m not taking that chance.”
Alyssia sat down her fork. “Did Ra’Keem or his buddies say or did something to you?” she asked.
“You guys remember when Ra’Keem got drafted to the NFL after graduating from UGA, right? And how Mom and Dad wanted to show him off with some fancy dinner?”
“I remember that day,” Uncle Javi stated. “Eveline and Emmett said that your parents had wanted you there at their place. And you were in tenth grade that day. What exactly happened that day?”
**********
Flashback (The Dinner Party from Hell)…
“Sean, I understand that you’re into some ‘farming club’ that you’re part of,” one of Jessica’s fashion-influencer friends said as we sat down to the catered dinner with me seated in between my older sister and the “man of the hour” himself (as ordered by our parents- mainly Dad). The mandatory celebratory dinner party was mainly for the family (Grandma and Grandpa included), but my siblings were permitted to bring their schoolmates and their families while Mom had some of her friends as did Dad. And while everyone was dressed to impress, I was content on my pastel-colored Sunday best from JCPenney.
“It’s the FFA,” I corrected. “And I’ve been showcasing a few of the cattle and doing public speaking for a couple of competitions,” I replied.
“Showing cattle and speeches are well and fine, but you must admit that you need to branch out and make new friends,” Dad said, his surgical and caustic way of tearing people’s self-esteem apparent in the way he spoke to me or about me. “You should think about playing for football at your school or some other sport. Maybe Ra’Keem could take you under his wing for a summer training session.”
“Thanks, but I’ll be busy with the general store,” I answered.
“Sean, think about the offer and how your presenting yourself as a family,” Mom said, her snake-charmer purr on full speed. “Jamal’s already catching the eye of the basketball coach from Central High and he’s only in the fifth grade. While Monica’s been working with me for a few photoshoots and learning a lot from Jessica. You need to start letting go of being on the farm all the time and stop thinking small.”
“And besides, no real teen worth his salt really wants to stay in a little town like Adams Falls,” one of Ra’Keem’s friends sneered at me. “Look at you, you’re dressing like my tired-as-fuck granddaddy. Thank God he’s in the nursing home.”
“Probably because Grandma Evaline still fetches his clothes for him, dressing him up like a kid,” Jessica snickered. “Bet he gets no play from the kids at his school. Then again, everyone back in Twiggs County dresses up for church all the time.”
That was enough for my grandparents, Grandpa standing to his feet and whirling on his son-in-law. “Are you really permitting this?” he asked hotly.
Dad just shrugged as he cut his steak. “Sean needs to cowboy up and be a real man if he wants to be ahead in the world,” he replied flippantly. “Sean brought it on himself for being a future farmer like you. Thank God that your daughter married a winner like me and we were blessed to have at least four winners.”
Grandma looked livid, facing her daughter. “Josaline, you can’t let him talk like that,” she seethed.
Mom looked unashamed. “It’s for Sean’s own good,” she commented, not looking sorry at all. To me, “You take in what’s been said, Sean, and be more like Ra’Keem and Jessica as well as Jamal and Monica.”
“Sean, we’re leaving,” Grandma stated. “And this is the VERY LAST time that we attend these kind of parties where you’re trashed while your siblings are treasured.”
I stood to my feet. “That sounds like a plan to me,” I stated.
“Sean, you need to stay here until dinner is finished,” Dad admonished me. “Or are you going to disappoint this family by being too much of a Holy Roller like your grandparents?”
It was my turn to have the last word. “I’ve been disappointing this family the moment you placed me in the care of my grandparents while you and Mom were too busy with Jamal and Monica,” I said. “Why should it change now? I won’t be back for any more events until you guys start showing me the same kind of love that you showed everyone else.”
Without another word, I followed my grandparents and we stormed out of the McMansion as the dinner went on without us…
**********
“Damn,” Trevor hissed, shaking his head. “We never really thought about how you must’ve felt with our relatives, your parents and siblings, dogging you to make themselves feel better.”
“That’s how it was even after that dinner party,” I stated. “People with that kind of swagger turn me off, hence me not wanting to speak to my family or even Caleb and Tim. I may be petty for it, but that’s how it is.”
“Sean, you have to admit that you need to at least try something to find healing for yourself and keep healthy,” Uncle Jace said. “All of this amniosity is not good for you and you know it. Now, you WILL apologize to Caeleb and Tim by the end of the week if you don’t want me to call Emmett and Evaline. And as for your mental health and your family, you need to see the therapist and talk to her about those feelings regarding your family.”
“Uncle Jace-“
“No buts, Sean. You either fall in line, or we’re sending you back to Georgia and you stay with your parents or even either Ra’Keem or Jessica so they can talk some sense into you,” Uncle Javi cut me off with a glare that softened. “We want to help you, but you gotta help yourself.”
I bit back a groan, knowing that this was non-negotiable. “Fine,” I relented. “But I’m not ready to talk to my family yet.”
“Fair enough,” Uncle Jace said before finally allowing me to eat. “But you need to tal to them sooner or later, you know.”
I prefer later, if I could be brutally honest. Like “when Hawaii is caught in a blizzard” kind of later. But I wasn’t going to say that out loud.
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