Corporations that have drunk the AI kool-aid are going to rot from the inside...

Today I received the e-mail for my mid-year review... with Copilot 🤦

They are having the stochastic parrot "coach" me on my goals and progress.

And they will then rank me based on this.

We so need a union for office workers to push back on this bullshit.

#CubeFarm #StochasticParrots #NoAI

TIL that I'm supposed to spark insight at work

#CubeFarm

For those that have not experienced life in the US corporate cube farm, there's always a ton of BS tasks to be done.

The meeting to prepare for the meeting, the slides where you copy-paste all the info from Jira because someone can't be bothered to click on the Jira link, etc.

Enter the LLMs. Bullshit generators, ready to be plugged in to this calcified structure that hungers for bullshit. It's a match made in heaven.

When a manager wants a TPS report (for whatever unholy reason), the poor sap charged with creating it can now just turn the crank on the LLM and produce hundreds of pages of slop. Well formatted, full of high-flying business buzzwords, slop.

So the manager is happy. The TPS report has never had this much (probably hallucinated) detail before! And the cube-dweller is happy too, because she didn't have to work on the soul-sucking task.

This is why LLMs are going to be the new e-mail, every company everywhere will use them as a band-aid around the actual issue:

• Managers don't understand what the people they "manage" do, or how they do it.
• Managers don't understand how (or even if) what their team does helps the company.
• Managers can't tell if their team is "being productive".

But managers can measure the amount of bullshit produced and are happy to look incredibly busy shoveling this bullshit around to their managers.

#CubeFarm #StochasticParrots #LLMs

Browser popup on my work laptop:

"Smartsheet would like access to other devices on your local network"

These apps get worse by the day.

#CubeFarm #DigitalPrivacy

I think it's funny that for everyone in a corporate job of my generation, "the TPS report" is a universal term for a pointless task that for some reason managers make a big fuss about.

#CubeFarm

Went to a meeting where they were explaining how vibe coding with LLMs will make everything better at work. Here are some pearls:

• "First, you set it so it doesn't generate anything" 🤦
• "We'll use a detailed spec, written in a very formal, precise format" 🤦 We already have that, it's called a programming language.
• "We won't use 'popular LLM', it's too pricey" 🤡 What are they going to think when these companies start to really charge for this?

#AISlop #CubeFarm

I was off for a week and returned today to find almost 600 unread emails.

They keep nagging us about using Copilot and how it will make us "productive". So I asked it to flag the important emails I should respond to.

It flagged 6.

I marked everything else as read.

#MaliciousCompliance #CopilotSaidSo #CubeFarm

The whole point of electronic shared calendars is that you can see when the other person is available and only then set your meeting at that time.

Every hour, at :03 I get IMs from all the people that set up meetings over an existing meeting asking "can you join my meeting?".

No, I can't. The blocked space in my calendar should have been the first hint. The message saying "Wizard has declined this meeting" should have been your second.

#CubeFarm #rant

Last week:

• "Project A is the most critical initiative this organization has ever taken up"
• "Project B has no funding, no work should be done"

This week:

• "Project B needs to be done ASAP! Funding? Forget about the funding, we'll figure it out later! Project A? Don't worry about that, we'll do it later. Maybe"

The longer I work a corporate job, the more I struggle justifying why managers and directors get paid so much. I'd get similar results out of a Magic 8-ball.

#CubeFarm

Opening my work email on Monday morning and watching as my filters kick in and so many disappear into the ether as I sip my coffee is a #SmallPleasure

#CubeFarm