CONTENT WARNING: suicide, grief, depression
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Given how dire things are in the world right now, I hesitate to share this. But this is where I'm at, and what's the point of sharing at all if we're not being genuine?

I might redo this comic and/or add color...or I might just leave it as-is. We'll see. I want to sit with it for a bit.

I have a lot of anger at my dad for a lot of things, but mostly not his suicide. Even at 11, I knew what it was like to feel suicidal, and I understood what it was like for life to feel unbearable. He was a large part of the reason *why* I often felt that way, and so it was complicated. Life was easier once he was gone. Suicide was NOT the way to solve that problem. But life got a little easier, at least for me, and that's just a fact. But his death was devastating all the same. I'm not sure anyone ever fully recovers from losing someone to suicide. I sure haven't.

I can't help but notice here though how when I drew this I wondered if the music might possibly stay his hand, when looking at our pictures did not. That says a lot, I think.

There's so much to say about my dad, my family, my past, all of it - and I'm working on it. But this comic is mostly just full of love.
I'm grateful that at least right now, today, this week, I'm in a better place. I'm grateful for all the times that's true. And I'm glad he's no longer suffering.

Dad, despite all of it, I love you.

❤

See the original post here:

https://www.patreon.com/posts/wishing-you-hear-121426001

...And if you like my work, sign up as a free member so you don't miss any of my public posts! I share a LOT more on Patreon than I do anywhere else right now. Patreon is free of ads, and there are so many cool artists doing amazing things there, so check it out! And if my work resonates with you, subscribe for as little as $1 or $2 a month so you can see ALL of my work as it unfolds and evolves. I'd love to see you there!

#comics #IndyComics #suicide #SuicideSurvivor #depression #love #patreon #ArtComics #PTSD #CPTSD #DisabledArtist #SupportArtists #TraditionalMedia #StraightToInk #FountainPen #DukeRubyFude #PlatinumCarbonInk #JournalComic #ComicsJournaling #ArtJournaling

...My cat loving friends, I know you know. 😺I think I've reenacted this scenario a few dozen times over the years.
You can see the post & read a little of my process-ponderings on Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/comic-only-to-82712650

#artjournaling #cats #bodylanguage #comics #traditionalmedia #journalcomic #comicsjournaling #sliceoflife #facialexpressions #makingcomics #speeddrawing #poetrycomicschapbook #disabledartist #chapbook #indycomics #firstflight #patreon

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This is the mental image I get from watching grackles & crows interact on my roof. What's the wildlife around you like, and what's your favorite thing about it? Got any fun critter stories to share? 1 of 2

#comics #comicsjournaling #journalcomic #crows #corvid #grackle #birds #avianart #patreon #disabledartist #supportartists #traditionalmedia #sketchbook #backyardwildlife #backyardbirds #wildlife #WildlifeWednesday #natureillustration #inkdrawing #motorcycleart #BicycleArt

Who else is a compulsive garbage-loop-snipper? Six-pack-holder ring thingies? Mask ear loops, hair ties, plastic bag handles? It feels like so little, but I do it anyway, always. 1 of 2

#artjournaling #artsupplies #comics #comicsjournaling #journalcomic #howiwork #ink #inkdrawing #garbage
#patreon #disabledartist #sketches #straighttoink #turtle #inkandwater

#comics #comicsjournaling #journalcomic #straighttoink #patreon #supportartists #disabledartist #crows #corvids #friendswithcrows #makingfriendswithcrows #sketches #sliceoflife #lettering #speeddrawing #speedsketching

OMG OMG OMG holy crap THE CROWS ACTUALLY CAME!
I usually only share really rough comics & WIPs with patrons, but I'm sharing this one with all of you because I'm so freaking excited I can't contain myself — or pry myself away from my perch behind the screen door.
I've been wanting to try making friends with the local crows for years now. I had this very conversation with one of my partners a few weeks ago, and having been called out for my inaction, I started putting food out for them now and then. But last week I started putting peanuts out for them more reliably, and practicing my crow calls to pique their curiosity. And holy freaking crap — once I started calling to them, THEY CAME.
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You can read more about what I saw here on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/crow-comic-life-81422510

What was one of the the things-to-have when you were a kid? Did you have that thing? Or did you find a creative way to make do with something similar? How did that work out for you, and how did you feel about it, either way? I'd love to hear those stories, if you're willing to share!
You can read the post that goes along with this on Patreon here:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/remember-sticker-80456024
This memory comic is speed-sketched on the back of an index card. I have a little box of memory fragments like this so they're all in one place, in case any of them fit into something larger later on.
So what was the thing-to-have way-back-when, and what was your relationship to it? I wanna know! ❤😺❤

#artjournaling #comics #artmastodon #mastoart #comicsjournaling #journalcomic #copingskills #dailyart #straighttoink #indexcardcomics #patreon
#disabledartist #memories #wheniwasakid #stickers #stickeralbum #lettering #Havenot #makingdo #makedo #traditionalmedia #graphicmemoir

Originally posted to FB 10/12/2021
#comics #ComicsJournaling #ArtJournaling #PoetryComics #Poetry #Patreon #MakingTheBestOfIt #WhenLifeHandsYouLemons

"When life hands you lemons, make poetry comics." - That's how the saying goes, right? 🙃

I still haven't found my stolen sketchbook journal dumped anywhere and so far as I know, no one else has either, so probably it's gone forever. That's hard. I have a crap memory. It's like 5 months of my life are just - gone. And yet, the outpouring of kindness from strangers has been an unexpected gift, and I am deeply grateful for it. It's hard to express how deeply I feel that, really, but - the other day I was thinking about this, and also thinking about how important it is to spend more time looking forward and less time looking back. And it suddenly occurred to me: maybe what I've gained is more valuable than what I've lost.
Continued in thread...

https://www.patreon.com/posts/comics-stolen-57006731

#journalcomics #comicsjournaling #memory #MemoryCare #unexpectedgifts #disabledartist #patreon #family #graphicmemoir #relationships #parents #sketches #familydynamics #RoleReversal

This is a bit of comics journaling about visiting my Mom recently. It's just something I drew for myself, with no particular thought to sharing it. But I know a lot of you are slowly losing parents to dementia, or already have, so I'm posting it here for those of you who can relate.
I wrote more about the challenges, & also the unexpected *gifts* of dementia here, if you're interested:
https://www.patreon.com/posts/are-you-my-comic-74423234
I can't help but think of the book "Are You My Mother?" when my Mom asks if I'm her daughter. Here we are, she and I, navigating yet another role-reversal. But that dynamic is familiar territory for us.
If you can't read my handwriting, I've transcribed all of it in the image description below.
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