I didn't get much done today due to bad mental health. I'll be back to comms tomorrow, and I'll hopefully have some updates rolling out in the evening. I do have an important appointment in the afternoon for a benefit review. I'm hoping that won't take more than an hour.
This appointment involves going over my self-employment income and my spending habits. As well as a review for my physical and mental health. It's been a big source of anxiety for over a month. It's a contrast state of worry, and I haven't been sleeping. It's scary.
In many ways, I would love to have a regular job. It would beat being fucking poor all the time. The benefits and part-time work keep me afloat, but I don't have much financial freedom. Yet I lack the mental stability for most jobs. I worry they don't take that seriously.
I do not earn enough to live on via art. I would not be considered gainful employment to the government. I'm very stressed about being pushed into a job that would make me relapse due to stress and anxiety. I do not want to be like I was before. I'm only just starting to feel like I'm coping again.
I've been out of a regular job since 2013 and only started taking part-time art as a job a few years back. I report my income, which varies a lot month by month. I would love to make it my full-time job, but I lack the customer base and the mental stability to work a full week... I'm stressed out.
Sorry for ranting. In many ways I've improved since the whole mess in 2014, the relationship breakdown and mum dying. I got some diagnoses very quickly, and medication has helped. Proper mental health care and support has been spotty though. I'm more stable than I was but I still struggle.
The jobcenter care about numbers not individual needs. So the is often a sense of dread dealing with them. I need to think about my future for when or if they ruin what stability I have.
#mentalhealth #benifits #self-employment #disabledartist
Pinky🌸💞
calico
Cheryl
Luke Orion 🏳️⚧️♾️🥄
Gay And Scrungly - Comms Open