I don't have to trigger old pain in people when I work with them. Why? Because their external experience is already offering them pain.

The pain that's being offered through their perception of what's happening is the thing that needs to be worked through at the moment. That's the clue the Universe is offering. That's the breadcrumb trail. I don't need to create an artificial path to healing. It already exists in their perception of their experience.

What do I do differently?

I question the pain the experience is offering. I question your perception, your thinking, and your story. I don't question the experience, it just is.

I don't question your feelings either because they are the clue that something isn't right in your perception. Your feelings are a very valid hint at what's going on.

I don't really heal feelings. I deal with the perceptions that cause the feelings to show up in the first place. The feelings kind of take care of themselves. Yes we can acknowledge them and I will honor them every single time. I will never push you through them. They are allowed to be there. Unless my goal is to desensitize you though, the feelings do just simply get to be there and we learn how to not be distracted by them and instead understand why they are there.

Working with me only seems scary because I'm asking you take control of things that you're not sure you want control over yet. But I promise you, getting control over this stuff gives you the freedom to move in any direction you want. You no longer have to be stuck in or limited by the pain that you've collected over the years.

You'll learn to understand the pain and how it's showing up in your life. I do that by using your current life experience as the breadcrumb trail to show me what work needs to be done. What I tell every client is that if your life is quiet it's going to start to get noisier because the Universe is now going to start offering you experiences for us to work with. That's how it goes.

Every time I've ever asked for an experience in my own healing journey, it's showed up within a day or two. The same will be true for you. It's the Universe's way of showing you that you're supported in healing yourself.

I have multiple private coaching packages available along with payment plans and even some scholarships for people that can't afford to pay for the plans.

Message me for details or hit up my website.

https://dellawren.com

Love to all.

Della

#privatecoaching #selfmasterycoach #selfmastery #focus #focuscoach #lifeexperience #journey #breadcrumbtrail #healing #spirituality #perception

I used to be really attached to the outcome of my life experiences. My focus was on what would happen as a result of the experience.

The exact opposite of that is now true for me.

The outcome doesn't matter. It's all about the point of the experience. What is this experience here to show me? What am I meant to learn?

The outcome is not the learning experience. The outcome is not the purpose of the experience. The outcome is a result of a lot of factors, some of which we don't even have control over. The outcome doesn't actually matter.

By learning to focus on the experience, it removes the fear of the experience. I was no longer focused on something I couldn't control like the potential outcome. Because I wasn't paying attention to that, there was no fear created because of it. It didn't give my mind the opportunity to make up a story.

I learned that I could handle whatever happened, that made the outcome less important. If I knew I could handle it regardless, then I didn't have to worry about it anymore. I trusted myself.

I put the focus where it needed to be, instead of where I thought it should be based on my fear of the outcome or even what I had been taught as a child. The focus was on the journey not the destination. You've heard that before and this is what it means.

How do you stop focusing on the outcome?

You question the experience instead. You just pull your attention away. You redirect your mind. You make the mind see the experience differently.

You're in control of your mind. You can decide what to focus on. You can make that conscious choice. The mind isn't going to do it unless you tell it to.

This is how you go after your goals in life. You stop focusing so much on the outcome and learn to focus on the journey instead. When you find a breadcrumb on the trail, you don't focus on the outcome of the experience of the breadcrumb, you focus instead on what you're meant to learn because of the breadcrumb. Why is this here?

This gives you a relationship with the breadcrumb that you can manage. It fixes your focus so that you can be okay with what shows up. You no longer have to be afraid of it.

It allows you to accept the journey instead of just focusing on your fear of the outcome.

Love to all.

Della

#journey #FixYourFocus #outcomes #breadcrumbtrail #Path #awareness #clarity #spirituality #healing

How many of you can manifest a cup of coffee, butterflies, numbers, signs, and a whole bunch of other little things easily?

How many of you have bigger goals, maybe to simply feel better in your life, and it's like pulling teeth? You can't seem to get there no matter what you do.

What if I told you there was a reason for that?

The path to the bigger goals includes healing your wounds. The path to the cup of coffee doesn't include healing your wounds. That is the biggest difference between the two. When you want the bigger goals, you're going to have to heal the wounds to do it.

Now you want to understand why that is. Why can't I just have what I want outright? Why is it so much work?

Your goal requires change, lots of change. My goals required change.

To be able to change you have to have the courage to do that. Most people don't have the courage to do that. The second they run into an obstacle that requires them to change something internally or externally, they head for the hills because change is scary.

Those obstacles make you question what you want because you're still defending the pain. You're holding onto those wounds. You don't really want to do that work. I get it. I mean who wants to do it? Well I do now, but I'm weird that way and I didn't start there.

It comes down to what you're focusing on. When you focus on needing to heal all this stuff it causes overwhelm, you question everything, and you walk away from it. When you focus on having what you want and you make the goal the primary purpose for doing the work, it gives you a focus that isn't painful. It makes it more likely you'll move forward.

Sometimes in that you tell yourself a story that makes you a victim of the manifestation process. You blame the Universe for not giving you what you want. The reason you can have the coffee so easily is because you're not scared of it. But you are still scared of the changes you need to make to have the bigger goals. That's why the bigger goals don't come.

If you can manifest it and then you lose it right away, there's healing in that too. There's a reason the path opened up temporarily. You just need to figure out why you lost it but also why you were able to have it. What's the wound? Heal that and then you can work towards having it back.

You're creating a relationship with what you want. You're focusing on what you want and it allows you to actually care about it enough to want to do the work. The reason you detach from your goals so easily is because you protect yourself. The pain makes you protect yourself from your goal. You protect yourself because you're still haven't made the choice to heal so you can have what you want.

You're not being punished. The Universe isn't being mean. It actually wants you to be okay. It wants you to be happy. It wants you to have what you want. But to be happy you have to let go of the pain. You have to be willing to change and do the work.

Yes, I used to think the Universe was just out to get me too. I didn't understand why I couldn't just have it from my original, rather painful comfort zone. Now I get it. There was no way for me to do what I do now from there. Remember, I didn't know I wanted this until I was doing it. Sometimes the goal your spirit has gets revealed a little later in the process. You need to heal first because if you saw the bigger goal right away you'd run away screaming immediately. A little bit of healing allows you to stay in the room when the bigger goal gets revealed. There is method in the madness.

It's a process. Your job is to create that deeper relationship with what you want so that you can focus on it instead of all the crap. It's what gives you the motivation to do the work. Maybe that just means for right now, you focus on feeling better. It's a perfectly good goal. If you're willing to just follow the breadcrumb trail that shows up, you can have what you want.

There's a path there. Are you willing to follow it?

Love to all.

Della

#manifestation #mainfest #Goals #dreams #change #purpose #healing #spirituality #consciousness #awareness #clarity #breadcrumbtrail

Originally I made a choice to heal myself so that I could feel better. I didn't know what that meant when I made the choice.

There was no carrot in front of me at the time. There was no sudden offer of change or a new way forward. It was literally just me making a choice with no idea what it would change, if it would change anything, or even how it would change something. I literally just did not want to be in pain anymore.

I had a goal, but even the goal didn't offer change. I actually assumed it would be more of the same. It was me accepting a past reality at face value, not me changing the future.

You don't need a carrot to do this. You can just decide that you want to feel better on your own. Is it selfish? Yes. In the right way it is selfish. What you're teaching yourself is that it's okay to take care of yourself by dealing with the pain you carry around.

I ended up here accidentally on purpose. I made a choice to find a way to feel better and then just continued to follow the breadcrumbs that my choice offered me. By doing that, I completely changed the person I was. It wasn't an intentional choice on my part. There was no "golden parachute". I didn't have a grand master plan. I just followed what was offered to me. Nothing else.

By the way, you can make the same choice I did and it will take you on your own path. I'm here to help with that when you're ready.

Love to all.

Della

#goldenparachute #masterplan #choices #breadcrumbtrail #spirituality #healing #consciousness #awareness #clarity

I just had somebody reach out for an energy clearing. (Yes, if you message me I'm happy to do those whether I post them or not.)

It's just as easy to ask me to clear the gunky energy as it is to ask me to help you get into a program or something. If you can message and tell me you're having a problem clearing the gunk then you can message and tell me you're having a problem shifting other things too.

I'm not here to make it difficult. I'm actually looking for all the ways I can make it as easy as possible for you, including putting a little quiz up to help you figure out which thing might work for you.

So, let's answer some questions right now.

Do I need to know exactly what I want my life to look like? Do I need a plan?

Nope. You don't need a plan. If you have no clue what you want, you just know you don't want to be where you are, then I take on the responsibility for making a plan using the intuitive guidance that I get. They'll give me a breadcrumb trail and we'll follow it.
If you happen to have a plan or a goal in mind, then we work from there. I'm still using the breadcrumb trail they show me, it's just the goal has been pre-determined.

But my dirty laundry is embarrassing/painful/scary/upsetting.

I've put a fair bit of my dirty laundry out in the world over the past few years. It's probably one of the reasons why you're reading my stuff. It's because I offer the human side of this process. If dirty laundry was really that bad you wouldn't be reading this right now.

The dirty laundry is there. It's just kind of like dust, there's always some of it present. You never really get it all cleaned up. It's okay that it's not the polished version of yourself you want to present to the world. You like the fact that I'm real, what makes you think I won't like the fact that you're real too?

When you go to the salon and they wash your hair and put it in a towel, your hair is no longer styled and set. You're a drowned rat for a few minutes while they cut it. You're okay with that process because you know the final result will be good and you'll walk out of there looking like a million bucks. What if doing this work with me is the same idea?

We go through that process of feeling like a drowned rat for a while and when we get to the other side, you feel a whole lot better. Maybe it runs a little deeper than just having wet hair, but it doesn't have to be scary and it is temporary.

At least with the hair dresser I kind of know what's going to happen! I have no idea what you're going to find or what will happen.

You can't see the path and it stops you. I get it. You think I don't because you watch me talk about how I manage things all the time. You think I just break down the walls like they are made of feathers. But there is work that went into being able to do that or even give the appearance that I can do it. When I first started this process I couldn't do it either, I just wasn't talking about it then. By the time I decided to start writing and sharing, I was well equipped to manage the obstacles that came up. I can do it because I've practiced a ton and I've learned how.

I don't expect you to be able to do this smoothly. I don't expect you to not be afraid of what might happen. I don't expect it to be easy for you all the time, nor do I expect it to be difficult all the time.

Honestly, I don't know your path either. I don't know what the guides are going to tell me you need. I don't know what I'm going to find. I don't know what the steps are going to be until I get them intuitively.

I have a process that I use to deal with every breadcrumb that shows up, regardless of what it is. I handle it all the same way, but that doesn't mean that I know what they all are before I get to them. I have to trust the path too, just like you. I have to trust that your path will show up for me so that I can help you. I have to trust my own guidance. I have to trust the things that I've learned how to do. I have to trust it all just like I'm asking you to do.

The only real difference between you and me is that I've learned to not be afraid of an unknown breadcrumb. It's a scavenger hunt where you don't get a list of what you're looking for. That's all it is. I've just learned to be okay with that and I want to teach you the same thing.

I have ways to manage the fear, to manage the anxiety, to deal with the unknown, to trust and take the baby steps anyway. I coached myself through all of it and I can do the same thing for you.

My job is to make it as easy for you to get over that first hurdle as I possibly can. I'm here when you're ready to take the leap and jump the hurdle. I can't make you, but I can support you in the process if you can take the step to reach out first. I can't support you until you reach out first.

Love to all.

Della

#firststep #startingover #newbeginnings #spirituality #healing #consciousness #coaching #fear #clarity #breadcrumbtrail