All over the place – AuDHD edition
As I start writing this, Koa has been living with me for 24 days now. It will be a little more, once this post goes "live". Lately, I have been sharing posts about the joys and struggles of living with a young puppy. The love I feel growing, being proud of this little dude with every new thing he is slowly learning, feeling my brain rest when I see him peacefully sleeping. But also, the worries, the broken sleep, the doubts... Knowing that I know, but being worried that I can't do what I should be doing...
The constant fear, being fed by my cPTSD, it's keeping my brain at a certain awareness level, it seems. If course, with a puppy in the house, it' good to have the spider-senses working, as they can be very mischievous, and get themselves in trouble in the blink of an eye. But when you keep doubting yourself, when you are "expecting" results, or when you're just eager to get to the point of those results, and you're pushing too hard... Well, as I have recently shared here, and as I have shared in the past, just with other topics making me feel that way... I feel my brain is all over the place at the moment. And I struggle to deal with that at times.
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https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2026/05/27/all-over-the-place-audhd-edition/