Some days I mourn my envitable, some days I just yearn...I'm not the person I thought I'd be when I was younger and I'll never be the person I want to be.

Some days I just want to wake up and be masculine appearing and have a boyfriend or a husband and be his boyfriend or husband. I don't think that's possible for me. Not where I am, not where I live, not where I'll be. I can't keep living like this, but to change would to be forever alone. In the body I have now, I wouldn't be so lonely.

Sometimes, I rather wither away. Sometimes, I know I'd be better gone.

I don't have spite, I don't live for spite. I just am here and alive. It's really something else. I'm tired. I don't understand anything or know anything. Sometimes art is the only thing I have to be myself because I don't think there's a me out there and if they are there, they're really unreal.

#Writing #MentalHealth #Transgender #BlackPerson #Stressed #Dysphoria