I survived! I won the biggest bottle of bourbon in the pull and ate extremely expensive cake.

Z just sent me a pic of her with one of our oldest paintball industry friends. I have the clearest memory of the night I met him for the first time- a big group of us went to dinner and I couldn’t go out with them after because I was pregnant with Z. Now she’s 23 and traveling to the same events with the same people 🥲

What is happening in this bathroom?
I just wanted some chicken salad and a nice place to poop.

Oh for fuck’s sake

Living with Hubs means sometimes he says things like, “I’ve gotta go pick up parts from Monster Jam” and the next day I find monster truck bodies in front of the house. Our neighbors either think we’re cool af or we’re the Clampetts.

I don’t know if this man’s son murdered his wife but I do know that no one at Dateline liked him. The tie!! The camera angle!! What did *you* DO, sir?!

Yes, I did just leave our office to find the emergency stairwell. The A/C kicked on and I was all, “DOES ANYONE ELSE HEAR A TRAIN?!”
I’m fine with tornadoes. Not worried at all. No phobias here!

I can’t even imagine how much money this sign cost and no one involved noticed.

I just started watching Vatican Girl and do Italians cut their hair with a Flowbee? White Lotus led me to believe they are a chic people and this is NOT that.