Update: I survived! We accomplished what we had to do and I’m so proud of my dumb job. I treated myself to the good pizza place and 9 fingers of bourbon while watching a stupid pretty spy show tonight.
I’m the luckiest girl alive 💜
We have 4 closings in my office today (8 one hour appointments total) and the water in our building just went out.
There are no functional toilets in my building. There aren’t any nearby. I didn’t bring lunch because it’s burrito day (yay!) in the deli downstairs which is now closed.
So I can’t eat. No one can pee. And I have EIGHT closings with 2-6 people arriving for each.
The last day of the month is never great but chaos is really showing out today.
We started watching Barry forever ago and lost interest but we picked it back up and hoooooo boy this show is amazing. I just sat through the Ronny Proxin episode with my jaw hanging open.
I survived! I won the biggest bottle of bourbon in the pull and ate extremely expensive cake.
I mistimed my personality drinks and lost the ability to color in my own lips, which have been on my own face for forty-seven years. One boob is refusing to hide her light under a bushel and my Lyft driver is waaaay to inquisitive about my business.
Come on Barbie, let’s go party!
Tonight is the yearly gala fundraiser for the domestic violence charity Hubs is a board member for. I will be as crossfaded as possible so that I don’t start screaming when a room full of rich white people who vote against social programs and gun control start bidding tens of thousands of dollars on AUTOMATIC WEAPONS to benefit women who are 5x more likely to die by a firearm.
But using our taxes to help them is socialism and that’s evil.
Rewatching Schmicago and having subtitles on is also karaoke. Sorry not sorry, family.
Omg I forgot some of y’all might not know Smalls is an almost 17 year old whose bff is a level 47 Theater Gay.
If you thought Smalls was 8 or something that last story was borderline disturbing instead of awesome.
Smalls came in while I was Schmicagoing and was all, “WTF” and I was all “Here’s the entire story of Schmigadoon and its sexy, darker baby, Schmicago” and THEN Smalls said “We should watch Chicago.”
During the “Pop” scene in Cell Block Tango he whispered, in awe, “She really put her whole vagina into that, didn’t she?”
I love this kid almost as much as I love Chicago.
SCHMICAGO!!!
FARRAGO!! Titus!!! TITUS TITUS TITUS!!! Jenna Maroney in a SUIT!!! The Narrator’s SUIT!!! Sex, violence, and imperfect rhymes!!!
This is a magical land.
