To me the name 'Nicki Minaj' sounds like an Italian man describing a personal grooming accident.

Thanksgiving would have had better traditions if just one of the pilgrims remembered to pack a margarita maker

[creation]
GOD: You all have a divine purpose
HORSE: I will plow man's field
COW: I will give man milk
GUINEA PIG: I will test man's shampoo

I post 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 on Facebook everyday.
I don’t play Wordle, but it drives my family nuts.

Love the new social media platform smell.

This feels like acoustic Twitter.

*getting undressed in front of someone for the first time*
sorry i look like this, i honestly didn't think i was ever gonna do this again

Is this a dating site?

If you pedal backwards on a Peloton, fried chicken appears in the cup holder.