Resingling my efforts.

Brb. Gotta post this on seven other platforms.

Singles in your area surround your house, shrieking for vengeance

I don't think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we're both pointing at the same tornado.

An app for 1 star reviews: Welp

Granted that was dumb, but how dumb exactly? Dumber than a breadbox? Dumb enough to fill the Royal Albert Hall? How dumb was it in Dog Years? We need to be precise about these things.

I haven't left the apartment in three days. Would you like to see the sculpture I have made out of toaster crumbs? She's a reclining nude.

I'll be messaging you all individually tonight just to make sure you don't dislike me.

Bath Bombs, terrifying if literal.

That's a spicy eye ball