If there's one #autism thing I wish I could be rid of permanently, it would be the fact that my rejection sensitivity results in me randomly crying uncontrollably about the stupidest shit.
It doesn't matter how upset I actually am, whenever I experience a rejection sensitivity episode, my brain floods my body with the chemicals where you cry and I just start uncontrollably crying.
And the frustrating part of it especially is that no matter how I explain to people I'm not upset, this is just my body having a chemical reaction, they make a huge deal about it. Or they think that I'm seeking attention or whatever. It always makes me look bad.
They don't understand is in my brain I'm going "why am I crying about this, this is so stupid, there's nothing to be upset about, I would like to stop crying now," but I literally cannot. It is a reflexive physical response that I am not in control. And no matter how much I try I cannot stop it.
It is one of the worst parts of being #actuallyautistic for me because it draws so much judgment from others and it's not something I can just work on in therapy.
I have seriously considered carrying around a little laminated card like in Joker explaining that I am not actually upset and that my body is just having a chemical reaction.