PetrichordFellow autistics, how do you avoid litigating every social interaction that didn't go as planned in your head over and over and over for hours after the fact? Repeatedly telling myself "you didn't do anything wrong, their reaction was their fault not yours and you were in the right" is not working #autism #actuallyautistic #autistic
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Hedders@Petrichord I don’t think you can avoid it. You just have to not let it overwhelm you.
Sarcastra@Petrichord I don't. The best I can do, as stated by others, is try to manage, contain, and re-perspective encounters. Forcibly changing my thoughts can help, but can only fight with brain so much.
@Petrichord and know that you're not alone in such struggles, if that helps at all.
sonja@Petrichord i limit my social interactions which is incredibly isolating but the constant repeating noise in my head makes me really sad and crabby
Jenica Lake เหล็ถเลถ@Petrichord I keep my hands or body busy when I feel this way, like taking a walk and sprinting as far as I can. Or picking weeds. Etc.
darrellpf@Petrichord #actuallyautistic @autistics
We are learning to unmask in order to be ourselves. I understand that the interaction rehash debrief is part of me and make time for it. Often I write out point form notes (which I never read again) to let the interactions be processed and get them resolved and out of my head.
I'm learning to give myself the grace to be myself.
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Theo 🏳️⚧️ 
@Petrichord that's the neat part: you don't!
Gersande La Flèche@Petrichord Some things that I was taught by a therapist specializing in eating disorders that I've found sort of helpful with this:
- The part of you that wants you to ruminate on something does not respond to facts and logic (if it did you would no longer be bothered by it!)
- So I tell myself “This voice is being unreasonable. I heard it and I love it because it is a part of myself, but it can shut up now, time to focus on something else.”
- Then I do that.
- There will still be occasional stabs of pain, or panic, or fear, and in those moments the only goal is to make it to the next moment where the panic abates. Grounding/breathing techniques may help you here, they don't really for me.
- You cannot outlogic, outreason, or even outlove a part of yourself that is determined not to be. So I try my best to shut it down and do things that I have established are good/safe for me. (In my case, because ED, it was eating a snack that doesn't make me panic or making tea, for ex.)
Intaglio Whitegraven@Petrichord This may be tangentially related:
I frequently avoid giving my opinion on certain subjects (particularly if it's a topic that's deemed controversial or polarizing). It's because:
- Someone may give me a rebuttal, and then I'll feel compelled to defend my argument in a formalized debate, which takes more time and effort than I want to expend
- I want to be liked by everyone / avoid making enemies, and stating my opinion now gives a reason for people to dislike me
@Petrichord i try reminding myself that right or wrong are concepts we made up and that ultimately nothing matters and just try 2 laugh about it
(i lie awake at night cringing about the last interaction misstep, leading me 2 spiral in2 remembering every fucking situation that didn't go as planned)