Daniel Moser🚇 Why you shouldn’t hang out at the end of railway tunnels 👇👇
Mike
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Bellison22
Rebecca CohenI am officially deceased after reading this Wall Street deli owner's response to the question of whether he asks his customers for stock tips:
Annabel GilesIt would appear that being a Conservative MP is the only job for life now. With added criminal immunity, two homes with all running costs paid and even subsidised beer at your place of work! Oh, and you must be an utter c**t.
Ethan J. A. SchoonoverThe cat just went over to the HomePod mini on my desk, meowed at it, and Siri said "sure here is some music for you" and the cat perched on the window sill listening to Garbage and Elliott Smith.
I just want to know how long this has been going on.
SirEviscerate 
Hi, my name's Ray. I'll be drawing your blood today as soon as I finish this Capri Sun.
*misses hole 4 times then punches straw through bag*
Matt Round
Paul HudsonHappy April Fools day to everyone who thinks the US date format is weird 🎉
Bethany BlackNormally I’m sceptical of these things, but I have tested this one and it really works.
Paul HaineIf you start watching Bong Joon-ho’s SNOWPIERCER at 23:14 tonight then you can see in the new year at the same moment the fish-gut-soaked-blade-wielding masked executioners do