It might seem weak or ridiculous for some to hear that I plan on lean on a ficitional character for my mental health but all is fair in love and war. 

Thanks for reading. ❤

I know too well.

At the end however, Erica manages to overcome all this be repeating to herself over and over again: “I am Erica Ortegas and I fly the ship!“. Seeing how the pilot finds her way back to her place on the bridge, experiences safety and comfort when touching the steering Panel and overcomes her fear and confusion, all while repeating over and over again who she is and what she does has brought tears to my eyes. 

Ortegas. 

I have watched Melissa Navias depiction of the Enterprises pilot as one of the best analogies of an anxiety attack I have ever seen: She is scared, confused, and feels alone - exactly the feelings I experience when an attack starts. She seeks shelter in her quarters - I also tend to hole up in my bed if I can - but still does not feel safe - been there, done that. She does not know who she is and what she should be doing, she even starts to feel scared of herself - all feelings

and take to heart as something that might help me in a future anxiety attack. (Last time it happened was at the end of “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows“, but I will write about this another time.)

If you haven‘t watched the episode yet, the crew visits Rigel VII and the planets strange radiation lets everyone forget all of their memories, thus essentially forgetting who they are. The radiation also affects the crew members who have stayed back on the enterprise, among them pilot Erica