TelH90I just took a cold shower to combat hyperthermia.
Seriously guys, do the same BEFORE you get delirious & have weird dreams...
Cuz I had something comically absurd.
Okay, you scrolled deeper, that means you want to read this?
Now hold on, this is so absurd, it woke me up:
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Basically #Valve sneakily launched #HalfLife3 exactly 1 day before #GTA6 and presented it merely 3 days before that launch day.
They did eMail'd an invite a shitton of small YouTubers ( http://gaming.alternative.yt in my case ) to a launch even in #Cologne, #NRW, #Germany (acknowledging that they couldn't get people into the #USA), all under extremely strict #NDA|s…
…And then #GabeNewell went absolute #TeraChad (not #GigaChad!) on stage for #HalfLife3:
Going on stage in a #GordonFreeman Cosplay and literally dropping a #Crowbar on a metal floor on stage, rolling a reveal trailer whilst going back, undressing and after that coming out with the #FatboySlim Shirt, but white on Orangy that says:
"I'm #1 so why try harder?"
To announce the public curbstomping of #GTA6…
…And this was the literal antithesis of the #DiabloImmortal announcement:
Down to inviting the guy who asked "Is this an out of seasons April Fools Joke?" and the "dedotated WAM" "kid."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY9cSFRBzJc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsO-Td0hqXo
- €24,99 one time purchase. No DLCs, just one game,.completed and done.
- Runs on 64GB SteamDeck 720p maximum @ 60fps minimum.
- Everyone who bought #Valve hardware gets it for free.
- Every #Steam Account 10+ years old & playIng on #Linux gets it for free…
Is this an out-of-season April's Fool joke?
…
- They did backport it to #Xbox360 & #PS3 and offered free disc images for those, alongside #XboxOne, #PS4, #XboxSeries and #PS5 to everyone who got the game.
- #HL3 got launched as a free update / library addition / gift on #SteamDeck, #SteamMachine / #SteamFrame.
- Alongside came a #Multiplayer, and it was basically #PortalDeathmatch: The Portal Gun as playable weapon! (That's why the Deodated Wam Guy got invited: The server runs on a #Pi3B+ & #Pi0W2)…
- They did backport it to #Xbox360 & #PS3 and offered free disc images for those, alongside #XboxOne, #PS4, #XboxSeries and #PS5 to everyone who got the game.
- #HL3 got launched as a free update / library addition / gift on #SteamDeck, #SteamMachine / #SteamFrame.
- Alongside came a #Multiplayer, and it was basically #PortalDeathmatch: The Portal Gun as playable weapon! (That's why the Deodated Wam Guy got invited: The server runs on a #Pi3B+ & #Pi0W2)…
…
- #Gaben went full self-aware into this, saying that #HalfLife3 will be #Linux - #exclusive and that #SteamOS will never support #Malware like #ClientSideAnticheat, as they rolled out their new and improved #ValveAnticheat which leveraged #AI trained on professional tournaments and known cheating sessions, showcasing that they were able to detect #DMA-based #Cheating and banned over 1.000.000 accounts on #CS2 live on stage in a #BanWave.
…
- #Gaben went full self-aware into this, saying that #HalfLife3 will be #Linux - #exclusive and that #SteamOS will never support #Malware like #ClientSideAnticheat, as they rolled out their new and improved #ValveAnticheat which leveraged #AI trained on professional tournaments and known cheating sessions, showcasing that they were able to detect #DMA-based #Cheating and banned over 1.000.000 accounts on #CS2 live on stage in a #BanWave.
…
…
- #VAC2 also would ban #Cheaters across #Games and from the #Steam #CommunityMarket, citing that "#Cheating must have painful consequences. We'll force Cheaters to put their Skin in the Game!"
- #Gaben acknowledged that #Steam came under fire by regulators for their #PriceCut and now revealed their changed terms for #IndieDevelopers to basically undercut any #ClassAction: 0% on the first $10k, 1% on the first $100k, 5% on the first $1M,10% after that.
…
- #VAC2 also would ban #Cheaters across #Games and from the #Steam #CommunityMarket, citing that "#Cheating must have painful consequences. We'll force Cheaters to put their Skin in the Game!"
- #Gaben acknowledged that #Steam came under fire by regulators for their #PriceCut and now revealed their changed terms for #IndieDevelopers to basically undercut any #ClassAction: 0% on the first $10k, 1% on the first $100k, 5% on the first $1M,10% after that.
…
…
- Before all the attendees got their free press copy keys and 3 gift keys for #HalfLife3, #GabeN talked about his Oceanic Research, Calling up #FabienCousteau on Stage, announcing a surprise $1B donation for #Proteus and an interactive #VR Experience called "The Joy of Diving", (w/ the Intro from "The Joy of Painting")
- Announcing #Steam would offer #DRMfree #Streaming on #SteamOS and #Linux because the entertainment industry needs to learn #SefviceCulture!
…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Urc9lKFe-m8
- Before all the attendees got their free press copy keys and 3 gift keys for #HalfLife3, #GabeN talked about his Oceanic Research, Calling up #FabienCousteau on Stage, announcing a surprise $1B donation for #Proteus and an interactive #VR Experience called "The Joy of Diving", (w/ the Intro from "The Joy of Painting")
- Announcing #Steam would offer #DRMfree #Streaming on #SteamOS and #Linux because the entertainment industry needs to learn #SefviceCulture!
…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Urc9lKFe-m8
LARRY OWENS - INTERLUDE (BOB ROSS THE JOY OF PAINTING FULL THEME TUNE)
…
- #Valve comitted itself to not allowing #AIslop, saying that #Steam only got as far as it got by not #Enshittifying and that it's not enough to just sit back and rely on the #incompetence and #greed of #competitiors.
- #Gaben the dropped off a literal #FatSuit whilst saying: "Because otherwise one gets fat and lazy."
- Gaben basically went Steve Ballmer on stage…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fcSviC7cRM
…
Steve Ballmer at NET Conference going crazy about Developers! | 1999
…
Only then did people realize there was another front row hidden, where Gaben had basically placed CEOs of their competitiors just to publicly humiliated them in front of the audience.
- And one could see Nadella, Cook, Sweeney, Zuck, Wilson, Furukawa, Guillemot, Yoshida, Satomi sweat profusely and Kawasaki grinning wide
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electronic_Arts
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nintendo
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ubisoft
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sony
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sega
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SNK
…
…
- Also just before endibg the presentation, #Gaben announced that they bought #SNK and would sponsor #KingOfFighters tournaments across the globe the next year.
Obviously at that point I felt like Hoise M.D. in his self-induced hallucination
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uht8RTvnYh0&t=1m52s
So I turned around and asked the person next to me to pinch me, which they did and I woke up.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uht8RTvnYh0&t=3m40s
…
A Trip Into House's Subconscious | House M.D.
#TLDR: DRINK A SHITTON OF WATER AND KEEP BOTH COOL AND HYDRATED, FOLKS!
- If you're consuming less than 6l water per 24 hours @ 40°C then you're severely risking dehydration!!
- If you don't need to piss at least trice day, then you didn't drink enough!!! If your piss isn't a light shade if yellow, see a doctor.
https://mastodon.social/@kkarhan/116821974443523976
#Heat #HeatWave #PSA #PHA #Health #Water #KeepHydrated #DrinkWater
chaos ΘΔ& (it/he)@kkarhan also, electrolyte powder! i get dehydrated super easily without a heatwave if i try to drink water without it, need extra or else i will pass out when i stand up