darkrabiteJun 5
evacide
When the interviewer says "Where do you see yourself in five years?" It turns out you're not supposed to say "Living in a bog, handing out quests."
Jun 5 at 3:04amWeb
Show threadDorothea SaloJun 5
@evacide and swords? you could also hand out swords.
Show threadMay Likes TorontoJun 5
@dsalo @evacide would certainly make better choices for rulers these days.
Show threadexcited for the mastodon riseJun 5
@evacide I've never actually been asked this, but I feel like all I'd be able to talk about is probabilities, with the likeliest ones that I'd be in the basically the same spot because the people who run the companies I work for are generally fucking morons who dont' even know they should learn how to look for and appreciate invisible work.
Show threadRyan FinnieJun 5

@evacide Everybody believes they are the hero of their own story.

Not me! I firmly recognize I am the NPC which you think is about to give you a main quest, but is really just there for flavor text.

Show thread�Jun 5

@ryan @evacide

me too. once in high school we were asked to write an essay(?) which film character fits us the most (with arguments of course)

in a star wars movie (cannot recall which) you saw two guys in the background cleaning a window.

i've never seen such a compassionate facial expression when teacher handed me the essay back

Show threadUrbanEdmJun 5
@evacide I feel like this depends heavily on the interviewer. I would definitely be intrigued. Plus, bog aside, what is management if not distributing (mostly very dull) quests that players nonetheless grind through to earn the reward.
Show threadJustin DerrickJun 5
@evacide I mean, would you even want to work there if they don’t think that’s a cute / funny / nerdy answer?
Show threadGlenn FleishmanJun 5
@evacide On an off-world colony, watching C-beams glitter.
Show threadEmma: ƒ(☕️, 🐈‍⬛️, 🚀️) ⇒ ℂJun 5
@evacide on a hab, orbiting Miranda.
Show threadgroxxJun 5
@evacide  sounds like a job worth rejecting
Show threadj-r conlinJun 5

@evacide

They also get really upset when you respond "Looking through the selection of your office equipment at the public auction" for some reason.

Show threadmancubeJun 5
@evacide yeah well how are you gonna get a job handing out sick bog quests if you don't self promote?
Show threadJordanJun 5
@evacide @ireneista This is very nearly a valid description of someone who hires contractors from the Google office in Mountain View (on the Shoreline wetlands)
Show threadNetzblockiererJun 5

@evacide I always answer

That's classified

And that is the truth…

Show thread�Jun 5

@evacide

"on your chair"

Show threadHeathen 🐈Jun 5
@evacide
So, project management.
Show threadJohanna, CanCon varietyJun 5
@evacide probably not, but now I have a new retirement goal, thanks!!!
Show threadGrumpSec SpottycatJun 5
@evacide "Farming goats"
Show threadJoacim JacobssonJun 5
@evacide what kind of boring ass jobs are you interviewing for?
Show threadMatt HallJun 5

@evacide

Psssh.

What does an interviewer know.

Psssh, I say.

Show threadĞÖKÜ👻👻™Jun 5
@evacide the same place I'm living currently 👻
Show threadalsvhaJun 5

@evacide They also don't seem to like:

"Oh I se my self working completely for free for you, until you kill me off as Soylent green"

Then I'm suddenly being rude.

Show threadMichael WeissJun 5
@evacide most likely in a mirror. That's where I've seen myself for most of my life, and I don't really expect that to change radically.
Show threadneutronstarJun 5

@evacide
When I got this question for the first time, I had just left highschool and waiting to get into college.
The interviewer said: ”Where do you see yourself in five years?”
I said: ”Well, at the last term of my college education I presume.”

*I don’t think that’s the answer you’re supposed to give…*

Show threadRobert Kist 🇦🇹🇩🇪Jun 5
@neutronstar @evacide there are no stupid answers, only dumb questions and this is one of them
Show threadJoe WJun 5

@kwramm @neutronstar @evacide What is your greatest weakness and greatest strength?

Sigh. Fundamentally dishonest question. "Sometimes I work too hard." - yeah right.

Show threadEric G.Jun 5
@evacide I guess I'll try "having wares if you have coin"?
Show threadrlonsteinJun 5
@ericg
Show threadAlex HoffmannJun 5
@evacide even when applying for the National Park Service or similar?
Show threadKirtai 🏳️‍⚧️Jun 5
@evacide
Why not? That sounds amazing 
Show threadDread Jun 5
@evacide A respectable goal.
Show threadVluciamonteiropJun 5
"Hopefully doing the same thing I'm doing now, considering the world we live in" was my answer to the last appraisal. Future? Let's live in the present.
Show threadFabricioJun 5
@evacide 👍
Show threadGanondalfJun 5

@evacide

A food line.

Show threadLandsilJun 5

@evacide

  • what would you do if you win millions at the lottery?
  • live in a hut in a forest and pay silver coins for low level quests.

Chop wood, refill wildlife feeders, clean trash from this part of the forest, maybe help this old lady with shopping.

Show threadRobin BobcatJun 5
@Landsil @evacide
"Okay, I filled three baskets with mistletoe."
"Ahh, thank you, here is your payment."
"What are you going to use it for?"
"Use it? Oh no, I just wanted it removed. It's an invasive parasite."
"...Ah."
Show threadLandsilJun 5

@RobinBobcat @evacide
And to be absolutely clear, you are getting paid for this in actual, real, custom made, 99% pure silver coins.

Probably worth more as a collectable so you don't want to melt it.
Oh, it would be so funny if you could go to a historic event and pay with those because of that.
Everyone would just understand that they will probably never convert those to cash but they can probably trade them for more cool stuff or just fun.

Show threadTor McAfee KingdonJun 5
@evacide true… if you’re interviewing for a stupid job
Show threadJon RoachJun 5
@evacide strong delegation skills there.
Show threadDMTomJun 5
@evacide oh, the thing todo next is to go into a 15 min lecture on slavic mythology and how this was actually a clever joke, while fully ignoring the rolling eyes. Will this get you a job? No, no-no no no… but it _might_ teach that HR person not to ask stupid and potentially personal questions - if they are not prepared to hear long winded answers;)
Show threaderibosotJun 5

@evacide Inane interview questions like this one have been bouncing around HR departments since the 1960s.

This particular question is to figure out if you're trying to move up in the organization (manager) or specialize.

Depending on the company's long-term plans, either answer could be disqualifying, so if you want the job, give an evasive boilerplate answer talking about "growth" and "experience."

Show threadAnalog AIJun 5

@eribosot @evacide

" growing in a bog, experiencing quests"

Show threadEd NealJun 5
@evacide
"Where do you see yourself in five years' time?"
"In the mirror of a f*****g time machine"
Show threadDave AlvaradoJun 5
@evacide if the interviewer doesn't follow up with "fetch, kill, or escort quests?" they are unserious and nobody should work there.
Show threadShadowNetworksJun 5
@evacide clearly they want to be a main storyline NPC. Best we can do is side-quest NPC. Roll for charisma and wisdom. You need 26+ on both to be considered.
Show threadevacideJun 5
@shadownetworks My CHA is unexpectedly high, but my WIS is debatable.
Show threadSlackbear Jun 5
@evacide I don't mind doing some side quests in real life. It's usually side quests that are more fun & meaningful than main quests anyway.
Show threadmikeashJun 5
@evacide I was not gifted with prescience and as such can only see myself in the present, and somewhat fuzzily in the past.
Show threadRafael KassnerJun 5
@evacide asking back “how many engineers you have with 5+ years of tenure?” is the only valid answer.
Show threadJonathan LamotheJun 5
@evacide Only if the interviewer is boring.
Show threadJay Grant 🏳️‍⚧️Jun 5
@evacide goals, tho
Show threadNizami 🇺🇦Jun 6
@evacide
I worked with an engineer who answered "I want to be a pro bass fishing guide."
He didn't last 5 years.