Jason LefkowitzSo have they put the lettuce out for Keir Starmer yet or what
200 years from now putting out the lettuce will be a standard part of British parliamentary politics that no one will be able to explain
Paul_IPv6it might get lost in the noise of the countless other parts of british parliamentary politics that no one can explain...
emily, blinkenlight witch@paul_ipv6 @jalefkowit staging a symbolic lettuce theft, as is tradition
Chris Mackay 🇨🇦@jalefkowit Ceremonial lettuce carried with gravitas into the House by the Sargeant-at-Arms, alongside the mace.
Mx. Eddie R@silvermoon82 @jalefkowit It’s a four-day appointment. Five if left in the crisper drawer of the fridge.
Flippin' 'eck, Tucker!@tantramar @jalefkowit Keeper of His Majesty's Vegetables
Jack the Waterlogged Count@jalefkowit That timeline may be pessimistic, given they still remember why the mayor is weighed after a year in office, and we know where that comes from 700 years on.
@count_01 It was a joke
@jalefkowit Yes, I got the joke; I'm just saying the lettuce could be in demand for a very long time indeed.
LionelBPutting out the lettuce means dishing out cash bribes.
Neo Ehproque@jalefkowit "it is said that Humpty Dumpty was a lettuce"
Pamela Barroway – Biz Editor
Ride Theory@jalefkowit "We believe the head of lettuce refers to the head of state, but the exact origins are lost to time..."
Marcus Marcius Marcellus@jalefkowit I believe it has already been added to the latest edition of Endive May.
Frank Nord@jalefkowit
Halt! Who comes there?
The lettuce!
Whose lettuce?
The Kings lettuce!
Pass the Kings lettuce! All's well!
You might want to change the vegetable warden uniform to something more appropiate to climate change.
Halt! Who comes there?
The lettuce!
Whose lettuce?
The Kings lettuce!
Pass the Kings lettuce! All's well!
You might want to change the vegetable warden uniform to something more appropiate to climate change.
MostlyTato@jalefkowit
Historians have hypothesised that it may have had something to do with pork markets.
Historians have hypothesised that it may have had something to do with pork markets.
Ben Zanin@jalefkowit "Mom! Mom! I get to be the lettuce carrier in our model parliament!"
"That's nice, dear"
Jef Poskanzer@jalefkowit There will be a war between the lettuce wearers and the leek wearers
Matt Hardy 3.11 for Workgroups@jalefkowit The weird origins of the lettuce have been hottly debated amongst contemporary documentarians. However retrohistorians using pre millennial academic methods believe they have unearthed evidence linking it to the story of List Russ the Queenslayer who they claim was based on an actual person who lived at the time of the AI Infopocalype. If you want to find out more, like and subscribe, we'll be back right after these messages for more wild and wacky 21st Century Facts!
Third spruce tree on the leftWhile likely to be true, I hate everything this.
DysguFi 🏴@jalefkowit maybe just the tip of the iceberg will remain
Isabel Ruffell@jalefkowit With all due hedging for offensive humour (see Radio 4Extra warning on all its comedy reruns), has anyone mentioned the famous Spitting Image Thatcher/vegetables sketch yet?
Also, in terms of tabloid vilification of leaders through the medium of vegetables, I have been unable to unthink the resemblance between Keir #Starmer and the late Graham Taylor once it crossed my transom.
Sin Vega@jalefkowit nobody will be able to afford a lettuce so it'll have its own special guard like those big fuzzy hat guys. maybe the hats will be painted like cucumbers idk
Seiðr@jalefkowit That has all of the contour of plausibility.
JeremyJupiterJones 
Will there even be anyone left speaking words of wisdom?
Lettuce be…
Dr. Bruce Simpson@jalefkowit Yes. That, and LEGS-IT.
scarlett@jalefkowit I'm sure that I saw one
Mark Shane Hayden@jalefkowit I never thought I would see a time when Italy's government was more shelf-stable than Britain's but here we are
Faraiwe@jalefkowit hah.
I read the second post first on my TL, and I went "huh, is Starmer on the clock, already?"
aburka 🫣@jalefkowit looking through recently registered domains I found https://isstarmergoneyet.com/
