Mastodawn

Mark Dominus 23h ago

In 1996, tired of squabbling between EU countries about whose favorite person or building should be on the EU banknotes, the currency commission held a competition for a new design: “The ground rules for the design strictly prohibited displaying any recognizable national monuments or heroes that risked giving greater prominence to one country over another.” The winning design was a series of bridges that were stylistically typical of different kinds of European bridges, but which weren't any specific bridges. For example:

Matthew Skelton 8h ago

Then in 2011 those trolls the Dutch built seven bridges in one town that were all designed to look exactly like the imaginary banknote bridges. They even painted the bridges the same colors as the banknotes.

So now the EU banknotes depict the bridges of Spijkenisse, South Holland. (pop. 72,500)

Mark Dominus 22h ago

Apparently they are thinking of replacing the bridges with famous people, and of course the predictable squabbling has already started, why does Beethoven get to be on a Euro note and not Da Vinci? Why Curie and not Cervantes? Is it an insult to France if Beethoven is on the €100 and Curie only on the €10? Blah blah blah.

Spijkenisse has shown the way. The ECB should select, completely at random, some EU town with a population between 10,000 and 100,000, national capitals excluded. Then they should commission designs of that specific town's notable buildings or local scenery.

For example, suppose Velenje, Slovenia was selected. The €200 could bear a picture of Velenje Castle. The €5 could depict the church of St. Martin.

The random selection and general irrelevance of Velenje would help forestall complaints:

* “Why does Velenje get to be on the notes, and not Acireale, Sicily?” No reason, just luck of the draw.
* “Are you saying thet Velenje is somehow more important than all the other towns in Europe?” No, of course not. It is nowhere in particular, that's the point.
* “Cornellà de Llobregat is lovely, why didn't you choose that?” Maybe next time we will!

A random town of no particular importance can be a representative of European pride in general, a sort of everytown: “Look, Europe has such a history of beauty and culture that it doesn't matter what particular place we select to represent it, this time it was Velenje but it could have been anywhere, really.”

Urix Turing 7h ago

@mjd “Cornellà de Llobregat is lovely, said nobody ever 😄

Mark Dominus 4h ago

@urixturing 😅 There only needs to be six things in it worth depicting, then it's no problem if the rest is concrete apartment blocks or toxic waste dumps.or whatever.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Cornell%C3%A0_de_Llobregat

Cornellà de Llobregat - Wikimedia Commons

Mark Dominus 4h ago

Julien Colomb 6h ago

@mjd
I would go for a recognisable swiss monument, switzerland being close to the geographic center of EU but not in EU.

:)

Arne Bleijs 36m ago

How about the Reformation Wall (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reformation_Wall)? It's featuring (among others) William the Silent (NL), Oliver Cromwell (UK), Gaspard the Coligny (FR), Stephen Bocksai (HU), Frederick William of Brandenburg (DE - Prussia) besides of course the protestant theologists.

Reformation Wall - Wikipedia

guenther 6h ago

@mjd they could just put random ai generated faces onto the bank notes instead of famous people.

Then, in ten years, the Dutch will genetically engineer some kids to look like those people.

Arcadiagt5 4h ago

@guenther @mjd Because OF COURSE they would. 😂🤣😂🤣

@mjd I thought there was a contest going on with two themes: “European culture” and “Rivers and birds”?

https://www.ecb.europa.eu/euro/banknotes/future_banknotes/redesign/html/index.en.html#designs

The redesign process

The European Central Bank (ECB) is the central bank of the European Union countries which have adopted the euro. Our main task is to maintain price stability in the euro area and so preserve the purchasing power of the single currency.

European Central Bank

@mjd I think what they should do is stay the course with fake architecture and deliberately try and bait countries into building increasingly ridiculous-looking things. Do one with like an Escher staircase sort of thing, let's see the dutch chuckleheads try to build that.

Megan Lynch (she/her)3h ago

@Owlor @mjd Depict accessible infrastructure and let them build that.

Taunt them into making things more accessible to disabled people.

@mjd can't we put dragon's on the money. Or pictures of the printing machines?

Janne Moren 50m ago

@lichtfeind @mjd
Famous machinery from European industrial history would be genuinely cool. Steam engines, mine pumps, locks, water turbines, iron smelters...

Janne Moren 52m ago

@mjd
Of course, if we're unlucky they'll pick a place such as Borlänge, and EU will have banknotes illustrated by 1970s brutalism and abandoned shopping streets.

Mark Dominus 34m ago

@jannem See my note elsewhere about Cornellà de Llobregat. Or my other suggestion that three towns be selected from each country and then popular voting be done Eurovision-style.

https://mathstodon.xyz/@mjd/116362719666468560

@mjd They should hire this firm lol:

https://www.snohetta.com/projects/norway-s-new-banknotes

Norways new banknotes

The beauty of boundaries

Mark Dominus 22h ago

@meowki I love these, thanks!

@mjd @meowki just like the Dutch notes before the Euro

Still miss these colourful notes 😢

@eelcoa @mjd @meowki oh man, I miss 'de snip', that was such a beautiful note.

(For non-native speakers, it's the bird.)

Mark Koek 3h ago

@eelcoa @mjd @meowki the 250 is still my favourite

Mark Dominus 3h ago

@mkoek @eelcoa @meowki Dutch engineering is amazing. I would have thought building a lighthouse on the side of a cliff was impossible.

@meowki @mjd They are different but how good are their anti-counterfeiting measures?

Historically British banknotes have had two people on them, the reigning monarch on one side and someone dead but famous on the other side.

Back in 1990 when a few series was introduced they increased the size of the face and reduced the body, as they claimed that people were very good at spotting forged banknotes because people were good with faces.

Mark Dominus 20h ago

@drajt @meowki As I recall the U.S. Treasury enlarged the portraits on the obverse of the U.S. banknotes for the same reason.

I can't imagine that the Norwegian currency authority was unaware of this or made an uninformed decision.

@mjd @drajt @meowki they're still in the same color for different nominations. Back in the 90's I was scammed by a currency exchange crook on the street, as I got $1 instead of $100, and they used excellent tactics to distract my mind. I learned about practical psychology a lot on that day :)

@bonkers @mjd @meowki yes when I lived in the US I found dollars very primitive and easy to mix up compared with Sterling which was colour coded and each note was a different size.

I believe the US dollar is often the most forged currency in the world, because it's widely used outside its own borders, there are a lot of them about and compared with Euro or Sterling the anti forgery features have lagged - though the more recent ones may be a lot better.

Mark Koek 3h ago

@drajt @bonkers @mjd @meowki also they never retract the old ones IIRC, so even if new ones are difficult to fake, counterfeiters can target older designs

@mkoek @bonkers @mjd @meowki ah yes, Sterling is quickly changed. You can take old or worn out notes to the Bank of England and they will swap them for new ones, but obviously not a good place to try and pass a dud one...

A paranoid relative hid £5 in curtains and came unstuck when she realised they had been phased out. The switch to the Euro forced a lot of criminal gangs to get rid of their old money in a rush...

@drajt @mkoek @mjd @meowki another anecdote was when Euro started circulation in Germany, people went massively across the border to exchange DM to Swiss francs, and Germany had to announce an amnesty on unregistered cash, just to keep the money in the country.

@drajt @mjd No idea. 🤷‍♂️

Stewart Tolhurst 6h ago

@drajt @meowki @mjd By historically you mean since the 1960s right?

@foxbasealpha @meowki @mjd indeed, 1963 when the queen was on one side and Britannia on the other. Though notes only had two sides and colour after 1957 with the Series B.

Stewart Tolhurst 4h ago

@drajt @meowki @mjd The whole furore about replacing historical figures with wildlife is so bogus! Historical figures weren’t introduced until the 70s…. I’m really looking forward to seeing the wildlife designs.

Wouter Lindenhof 6h ago

@drajt @meowki @mjd

Dutch money had quite a few different counterfeit measures. Most bills were too expensive to recreate (even if only half of the counterfeit measures were recreated) while the larger bills were generally refused. As such it was not an interesting target for criminals.

Fish in the Percolator 7h ago

@meowki @mjd these really rock!
Now I am sad that I only ever used digital payments in Norway, these notes must be collected!

@mjd of course the Dutch would troll by building waterway infrastructure

Mark Dominus 19h ago

@cinebox I'm sure they thought it was funny to take these bridges, which everyone had imagined as impressive spans, and turn them into tiny canal footbridges.

@mjd
This is technically known as a bridge troll

@sabik @mjd also see #retcon 😉. Possibly the spendiest retcon ever.

Tor Lillqvist 7h ago

@mjd Seems to me, at least based on that picture, that they didn't actually build new bridges, but built Potemkin-style rather plasticky-looking façades in front of existing much more boring bridges?

Or at least, even if the bridges might be new, the banknote-inspired look doesn't match the actual construction and structure of the bridges. The one in the picture is not actually multiple load-bearing arches made out of masonry.

Fake and sad.

Yes, I am fun at parties.

Mark Dominus 4h ago

@tml I believe you're exactly right about the way they were (not) constructed. I read that they are not even painted to match the notes, they are made of dyed concrete.

But I disagree that it's sad—to me that's part of the joke. Similar to the way they didn't construct grand bridges spanning gorges or mighty rivers, they just used the designs for little footbridges over canals. It's funny!

Tor Lillqvist 4h ago

@mjd If one has the right ironic attitude, then yes, it is indeed an amusing joke. But I fear many of the tourists who come and see these just think "wow, they built these gorgeous old-fashioned bridges, why can't we do the same at home".

Mark Dominus 3h ago

@tml I did find the fake suspension cables of the cable-stayed bridge rather disturbing.

I was similarly offended by this fake suspension bridge in Taiwan.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Taroko-Gorge_Hualien_Taiwan_Pudu-Bridge-at-Taroko-National-Park-01.jpg

File:Taroko-Gorge Hualien Taiwan Pudu-Bridge-at-Taroko-National-Park-01.jpg - Wikimedia Commons

Mark Koek 3h ago

@tml @mjd I can assure you that no tourists visit Spijkenisse. It’s a suburb of Rotterdam that you do not go to if you don’t have to. Which may be part of the joke, who knows. 🙂

Tor Lillqvist 3h ago

@mkoek @mjd Now you convinced me that I *must* visit if I ever find myself in the vicinity...

Mark Koek 3h ago

@tml @mjd Take metro line D from the central station all the way to the end of the line. Good luck. 🫡 (not that bad really, just a bland suburb 🙂)

NilaJones 7h ago

This is the most postmodern thing I have ever heard

Fredrik Björeman 6h ago

@mjd Brilliant!

ednl 🇪🇺4h ago

@mjd If people want to see them all: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurobridges_Spijkenisse

GinevraCat 4h ago

@mjd @patrickvine This is. ..... surprisingly on brand.

Arcadiagt5 4h ago

@mjd I’m here just for the Dutch Trolls! 😂🤣😂🤣

@mjd This is definitive proof that the dutch are the funniest people in Europe.

Kurt Kettler 1h ago

@mjd Cool, not my color. But cool work! 👍