Nothing to see here just your average, routine sixth annual dementia screening this year
Folks is it happening??
I swear if Trump dies on Easter I will believe in a just and hilarious God.
Well shit now I'm just getting drunk for the regular reasons.

@Lana I donโ€™t want to feed a false rumor, but the road closure would only be for long enough to let the motorcade through, and the chopper would not need to stand by at this location if heโ€™s already been transported.

The real question is, whereโ€™s Vance and how is he behaving?

@ClimateJenny my guess is he either:
1. Had another stroke
2. He's getting another whatever the fuck procedure that turns his hand black
3. His neck is finally fully dialated 10cm and it's time to deliver that neck baby
@Lana @ClimateJenny Why'd you have to bring up his neck vag? Now I need a ๐Ÿท!
@WildEyedBoyFromFreecloud @Lana @ClimateJenny but then you brought it up AGAIN!!! ๐Ÿท ๐Ÿท!
@Lana maybe they dumped on the ground in front of the ER and sped off

@Lana As a rule, I think it's distasteful to celebrate anyone's death.

But you know what the thing about rules is? Every rule has an exception.

I for one will be opening the bubbly once his time comes to shuffle off this mortal coil.

@statsguy @Lana
I HAVE BEEN UNABLE TO STORE CHEESE PROPERLY SINCE HIS FIRST INAUGURATION BECAUSE THERE IS A BOTTLE OF BUBBLY ON THAT SHELF WAITING FOR THE NEWS OF HIS DEATH
@statsguy @Lana think of it as the day he finally becomes presidential
@Lana I fear that if he does, it will just give his more fanatic followers a narrative...
@Lana The Pope would have to keep a straight face ๐Ÿ˜…
@Lana As long as he doesnโ€™t reappear 3 days later.
@Lana the death of caesar mar 15 led to civil war :(

@Kierkegaanks @Lana Yeah, like Vance and Johnson are going to fight it out to the death as Rubio just watches hoping they both manage to croak themselves because he's next in line for the presidency.

(Edit: actually, Grassley follows Johnson, but the joke is funnier this way.)

@msbellows @Kierkegaanks @Lana And as long as theyโ€™re distracted by infighting, their efforts to destroy the rest of the world should be significantly slowed down, soโ€ฆ yes please? 

@mivox @Kierkegaanks @Lana I really want just Vance to croak, because Mike Johnson would be weakest Republican president in history.

We need to revive those claymation celebrity matches.

@msbellows @mivox @Kierkegaanks @Lana

Looking at the designated replacements, I shudder thinking what could happen if he dies.

Just imagine Hegseth as president for 2 years and a half. Or Vance or Rubio.

Enough to wish to leave not only the planet, but the entire galaxy.

@jgg @mivox @Kierkegaanks @Lana It goes Vance, Johnson, then Chuck Grassley, and only then Rubio. Hegseth is #6.
@msbellows @jgg @Kierkegaanks @Lana Christ. Grassley. Weโ€™d be going straight from one hopeful deathwatch to another.
@Lana
Next year, may all be free.
@Lana shoulda been 1 april.
Preferably 1 april 2018, but oh well.
@smellsofbikes @Lana preferably sometime in 1945. Wouldโ€™ve been better all around if heโ€™d never been born at all.
@Lana Yeah, but imagine the evangelicults going off.
@Lana
In 1945, Trump's father should have been provided with a condom.

@Lana
Many of us saw/heard the video clip of people in Teheran cheering when word spread that Khamanei was dead.

Yeah. Been thinking about that a bit.

#WatchingWalterReed

@Lana unless he rises on the third dayโ€ฆ

@Lana

Stress can make you feel sick and this whole thing with the jet being shot down right after he said that Iran couldn't possibly do that to the whole nation? It makes the president and the Military look clueless, incompetent, and reckless.

And not just with people who already don't like him, but even with those who do.

I think they are hoping they can find they guy or get him back and use that to shift the tone.

@Lana Probably indigestion or some ghastly gastric distress from gobbling McDonalds triple bacon cheeseburgers.
@StumpyTheMutt @Lana if and when he does go, I hope its terribly painful & embarassing to the point that anyone ever recounting the course of events will have a hard time keeping a straight face telling the tale.

@Lana ๐Ÿ™ please please please please

I have fireworks ready and everything

@Lana is there a god who answers prayers?
@Lana
C'mon, Lana, it's just executive time.
Never explain with a conspiracy what can be explained with incompetence.
@Lana If he dies he gets to miss out on prison time. I want him to live a long life so he has time to reflect on what he's done while behind bars.
@Lana
Looking forward to the news that the US president doesn't have dementia any more. Less looking forward to the news that the US president fucked a couch.
@Lana is there an upcoming deadline he promised he would do something on?
@Lana Hoping for the best possible outcome. For us, not for him.
@Lana
Who's in charge of his DNR?
@goatrodeo oh uhhhh. That would be me. Yeah. Totally me. Don't uhhh don't check my credentials though. It totally is. No need to check ha ha.
@Lana Krassenstein is not exactly an unimpeachable source. Sources on the ground at Walter Reed say there is no evidence of enhanced security.
That said, a girl can dream, can't she? ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿคž
@Lana
Another day, another transient ischaemic attack
@Lana
Prediction: After some prompting from his aides, Trump will be able to distinguish between drawings of 3 different animals.
By also muttering, "person, woman, man, camera, TV," he will "ace" another dementia test which he can then brag about endlessly.

@Lana

He keeps scheduling them because he can't remember if he had one