BenI regret to inform you that my drafts folder has once again developed a bit of a backlog. Believe it or not I try not to post every thought I have on here. I am capable of some restraint. However I'm loath to throw my thoughts in the bin. Even if they are total nonsense rubbish. Why? I dunno. Perhaps it's because Fedi is the only proof I exist as me anywhere in the world. A licence to be myself (00Ben). Whatever the reason it's happening. And so I present to you, the latest....... Ben's outtakes!.....
I feel like I'm on the cusp of being the first person with actual powers. Like I'm so close to a mutation I can feel it. What might it be? It'll be rubbish. Just spontaneously go mad or something. But I am the next step in human evolution nonetheless. Can it be harnessed or will it destroy the world. Oh no is everything my fault? It's already begun.
I need to convince the markets that I control a vital resource. Looking around it can't be grass because other people have loads of that. Bugs?
Do you think in procedural shows when actors play hierarchical roles, this affects their irl relationships? Must do. Stamford Prison Experiment-style. Do you always want to make love to your on screen partner or murder people? Probably. Actors must be stopped.
Wondering if I should start applying for jobs where I run social media accounts for corporations. NONE OF THIS IS REAL! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!GOD IS DEAD! GIVE ME A MILLION POUNDS! Put me in charge of ketchup. See what happens.
I just want to say thanks to those people so keen to debate with me about my personal experience and opinions. Thanks so much guys! Maybe I am wrong!
Seems like everyone has a Controversies section in their Wikipedia these days. Without implicating yourself legally, what would yours be? Mine is that I take the view some crime should be allowed, a history of talking about kidnap, and quite a lot of talk about throwing people into outer space. But for the record I was joking (I wasn't joking (I was (I absolutely wasn't)))
If I were a world leader I would simply holler at the other WLs and agree to kick the absolute shit out of Donald Trump
There needs to be a consensus on clothing. I can't always be the weird one or the one who's too conservative. When's my goldilocks moment. It's all leopard print in the business district or business time at the mardi gras. TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT.
OK I'm done again for the moment. Phew. That feels a lot better. Thanks so much. Better out than in, as the actress said to the bishop.
Aaron 
🖖@TheBreadmonkey Whatever it is, I find it’s always best out rather than in. 😅
Nix is Ready for Spring@TheBreadmonkey leopard print? my girl got you
POV: the dress code said no animal prints so you wore jersey neutral 🐆 leopard is a neutral…right?
Kierkethumbs up convincingly
Sir Osis of Liver 🇨🇦 🇲🇽Wait, wait, wait. You aren't a cartoon?
I thought this was a social media account for some Adult Swim character. Well TIL a thing.
😆
The Lady (La Donna)
Matt@TheBreadmonkey *memory unlocked*
https://mrkamikaze.bandcamp.com/track/cartoon
#pop #poppunk #newwave #poprock #punkpop #ranchocucamonga #bandcamp
Cartoon, by Mr Kamikaze
from the album 1st EP (We never bothered thinking of a title)
internetsdairy@TheBreadmonkey I once had a dream I was in the Simpsons and I looked down and my hands were all yellow and cartoony and it was fucking brilliant
My first thought was that I'd immediately want to look at my own penis
@TheBreadmonkey well when I dreamed I was Inspector Gadget
Again - literally very first thought was penis-based (on a spring?)
@TheBreadmonkey just a spork and two AAA batteries 😔
Moss Wizard@TheBreadmonkey *me, having hidden your tin opener* heh heh heh
@TheBreadmonkey I just bought an overly expensive one because the one I got out of the Morrison’s broke whilst trying to open the first tin I used it on.
John Maxwell@TheBreadmonkey - Not if you can't open the tin of matches, you won't.
PetraI assume it is with your tiny cheese grater
Alex Psmith the Naught@TheBreadmonkey First your cheese grater, and now your tin opener. You need to TAKE CONTROL of your KITCHEN!
Also, what have you done to anger @Anoia ? Losing kitchen implements like this does imply sonething
for a day, while . . . 🗽. . . is it with your small cheese grater? just a thought . . .
@TheBreadmonkey - I was wondering why I was seeing ads for the next G8 summit as a pay-per-view event.
Curious@TheBreadmonkey controversy (or just a rumour, filthy filthy lies!) is I'm a goat, impersonating a human, impersonating a goat.
@TheBreadmonkey I went to Mexico with someone being actively chased by a mob boss and who eventually was banned from the United States. Subsequently, his girlfriend stole my sandals.
Julian West🦞@TheBreadmonkey I've been meaning to confront you about what you would have said that you had for breakfast. I am sure I have a more valid opinion about what you had for breadkast than you ever could, waffle-eater.
Chipotle Axolotl (aka Julian)@TheBreadmonkey how about turning animals to people by showing them your nipples? Niche but classic
L'égrégore André ꕭꕬ@julianlawson @TheBreadmonkey How'd you get hold of my synopsis for The Island of Dr Myboobs?