Mastodawn

(copypasta aside, I'm actually surprised that the numbers are so close.)

Thee Mighty Peculia🍄✨3d ago

@datarama Multiple lizards.

@lydialurch At the same time!

@datarama No, each lizard had its own zip code. 🦎 🐊

@lydialurch I've been sat on by two lizards simultaneously (two green anoles).

But my life total lizard-sitting-on-me-count is, uh, high. I think I'd be Lizards Georg in that meme.

@datarama I might need to see that meme or your reference is lost on me. Why have so many lizards chosen you to sit upon? Do you have pockets full of crickets? 😄

I only have a handful of experiences as a lizard cushion, but every one was a different kind including salamander, gecko, iguana, monitor, and a couple of others I couldn’t identify at the time. They were all quite pleasant. No seagulls have ever tried to sit on me though, and I’m not sure I’d trust one not to do the bad thing.

@lydialurch I've kept pet lizards since I was 10, and learned how to build trust and help them feel at ease. Aside from the lizards I've kept (all of whom have sat on me), I've attended a lot of reptile nerd conventions, where I've often ended up having friendly lizards sitting on me as well.

Enclosed please find an old picture of the lizard who was sitting on me while I wrote this post. I'll snap an action photo of him sitting on me next time both of us are awake.

(He's a blue-tongue skink; 18 years old, 60 cm long and just shy of a kilo.)

@datarama He’s really cool! I love a pet with a long lifespan, and I have to say, the blue tongue is the ultimate accessory for a well dressed lizard.

@lydialurch As for the meme I was referring to, it's:

"average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted".

(I think I'm an outlier in being a lizard cushion. :) )

@lydialurch footnote: the lizards in the cuddle train are an adult female Chinese water dragon (little spoon) and a juvenile green iguana (big spoon). You can tell that both lizards have been duplicated a few times. I think the original picture is this one.

As a further footnote, those two species generally can't be kept together without close supervision. Not because they fight (they don't), but because they often become good friends! Both species are social, and will often lie down on top of one another. This works fine when they're young, but when they're full-grown an iguana can weigh over ten times as much as a water dragon, and might unwittingly crush its friend to death, because they don't really understand their own size.

But they don't compete for food or try to eat each other! Water dragons are carnivores and iguanas are herbivores.)

@datarama It’s not easy being green star crossed lovers. How adorable are they though? 🥰

@datarama Ah, yes. That rings a bell. I’m laughing for real. 🤣

I’ve been a snake perch as well, more than a few times. Not sure why, but they have a calming effect on me when we can just chill together like they did old school. (Eden.)

Brendan 3d ago

@datarama here in New England I rarely even see a lizard

@Brendan I'm sort of cheating because I have a pet lizard who was sitting on me while I was posting the poll.

But once, I have also been sat on by a wild lizard! (A European common viviparous lizard.)

@datarama Sat upon, shat upon, and bitten, all by lizard.

@sasutina13 Same here, though only one bite.

(A little young leopard gecko, right after I'd handled his food. He thought my pinky looked like the Mother of All Mealworms, apparently. But he very quickly let go once he realized his mistake. The bite felt sort of like being landed on by a medium-size fly.)

@datarama Alligator lizards and blue-bellies were mine... I probably smelled like food.

@sasutina13 I currently have a blue-tongue skink (adult male Northern) who has a very strong aversion towards opening his mouth at humans. He *never* bites.

Given what I hear from people who have been bitten by that species, I am very happy about this.

Irina 3d ago

@sasutina13 @datarama I've never been bitten by a lizard, but I have been bitten in the ball of my middle finger by both a hamster and a mouse (on different occasions, of course).

@irina

Oh that hurts!!! Same here... And they say ¨mice are timid¨.

But perhaps rabbits are worse cos when they bite they almost always tug, and they are strong!

@sasutina13 @irina The worst bite I've personally gotten was from a turtle. (Red-eared slider.)

Yeah. They always try to bite. Nasty and filthy bites...

@irina

@sasutina13 @irina A long time ago when I had Igor (my blue-tongue) in for a routine check-up with his vet, I had a little chat with the vet while I was getting Igor into his transporter to go home again. He mentioned:

"Oh, I've been bitten by so many things. And the only bite that sent me to the hospital was from a cat! But I've been bitten by geckos, iguanas, pythons, turtles, a crocodile..."

"...wait, a *what*?!".

@sasutina13 @irina The two sliders I had as a kid were really night and day in that regard. The female was incredibly bitey and aggressive, and would attack anything that came near her swampy abode that didn't look like the other turtle. The male was almost ridiculously mellow, never bit, and usually didn't even retract into his shell if you picked him up.

I have no idea why they were so different, but - well, all animals have personality.

Irina 3d ago

@sasutina13 @datarama this mouse hung from my finger by its teeth! I had to grab it with my other hand and shake it a bit until it let go.

ƧƿѦςɛ♏ѦਹѤʞ 3d ago

@datarama
Do snakes count?

Howard Chu @ Symas 3d ago

@datarama I'm pretty sure my cat left it on my chest while I was sleeping. When I woke up the lizard was there staring at me, and the cat was a few feet away on the floor, staring at me.

MoonlitGallant 3d ago

@datarama Would you count a pet lizard? Because I've never had a wild lizard even appraoch me.

@MoonlitGallant I would. (I've copypastaed this from one about cats, because by now this has gotten sufficiently silly.)

I've been sat on by many pet lizards, and one wild lizard.

Joe W 3d ago

@datarama newt: yes, lizard: no

Space Catitude 🚀3d ago

Do lizards sit..? CAN lizards sit..? 🤔

Paul_IPv6 3d ago

earth lizard or space alien lizard? :)

Irina 3d ago

@datarama Also by a snake, if snakes sit at all. (The snake's human hung it on my neck and it slithered to coil itself around my arm)

Kerplunk 3d ago

While talking to a colleague about how I recently learned most people have never been sat on by a seagull

Plenty have been shit on though, in Scotland a specialty of the Skua Population.

Guillotine Jones, Flâneur 3d ago

@datarama
Haven't been sat on by a lizard, but am willing to give it a try.

Court Cantrell does not comply 2d ago

@datarama I have been sat on by a lizard. It was smol. It was the pet of our preacher at church when I was a kid.

One summer, preacher & his family were away for a month. My mom & I agreed to feed the lizard & *the snakes* while they were gone. (The snakes were also pets; we were not snake handlers.)

Once, while we were feeding said creatures and said lizard was sitting on me, lizard escaped. We could not find it.

Six weeks after preacher & fam came home, they found lizard still alive. Yay!

@courtcan Lizards are notorious escape artists! And snakes are even worse.

I'm happy to hear that the little lizard was found and in good health!

Dudula the Dud 2d ago

@datarama I used to know a guy that kept an Iguana, and a number of snakes, including a python. They used to mooch around his living room, looking for the warm spots. One of those warm spots was the back of my head. The python used to curl up around my neck and sleep. How I've not been strangled is, in retrospect, quite remarkable!

@BackFromTheDud Pythons don't try to constrict anything that doesn't look like food. Whether something looks like food is primarily about whether it looks like it can be swallowed whole. :-) So unless it was a truly enormous python, you were quite safe.

I AM BANKSY ☕ / 🗑‍🔥2d ago

@datarama
We had a pair of green iguanas, so this was an easy one.

Antony 2d ago

@datarama Nope. Closest I've come is a newt.

aaron 2d ago

@datarama
Do geckos count?

@aaron Of course!

Mega Charizard X 2d ago

The lizard dropped from the ceiling while I was in meditation.

@MCX In my experience, even skittish reptiles are greatly put at ease when people are calm. Simply sitting still and being quiet goes a long way.

Antimony 2d ago

@datarama @miaura
I've been shat on by a seagull though.

Public Universal Fool 2d ago

@Antimony @datarama Same, unfortunately. And a pigeon.

Full Metal Archaeopteryx 2d ago

@datarama
Lizards and seagulls

Hilary 2d ago

Sat on by a lizard? No, I don't think so. Leapt on by a squirrel, definitely. Slithered over by a snake, yeah, that too

Mike 2d ago

@datarama We were bussed out to an old army camp in the California desert hills while they were building a new elementary school, *very* rustic. We'd catch lizards and bring them into class, they'd sit on our hands and learn about fractions, probably about as well as we did, in the dusty heat 😆

datarama 1d ago

@sunumbral The one experience I have with being sat on by a wild lizard (a European common viviparous lizard) was also a lizard I caught, although I should probably say "caught" with quotation marks, since it was a very gentle catch. I sat down slowly in front of her, sat quietly for a while until I could see she was calm, then carefully picked her up from the front rather than from above. She then sat on my hand for a couple of minutes or so, before hopping down and going about her day. She didn't drop what she had left of her tail (some of which had already been dropped, probably from a run-in with a predator), so she was less scared of me than I think I would have been if I got picked up by a giant ape.

(It was at a school excursion when I was a kid. But at the time I'd kept a couple of pet lizards and knew the basics of how to build trust with a lizard.)

Séleste 🚲 🏳️‍⚧️🔧2d ago

@datarama does that count ?

datarama 1d ago

@missbullitt I would say no on both counts! Alligators aren't lizards*, and that alligator is clearly being sat on by a human, rather than sitting on a human.

*) Fun fact: Crocodilians and birds are actually more closely related to each other than either of them are to lizards! Crocodilians and birds are the only surviving members of the Archosauria order, which used to also contain all the dinosaurs. Lizards and snakes (the order Squamata) are a later branch off the big reptile family tree.

Simon dē Gulielmō 🐧2d ago

@datarama Does that include geckos frequently landing on you?

@simonwilliamson If they sit for a while post-landing, I'd say yes.