Ricki Yasha TarrHave you ever listened to someone vent about a problem, and about halfway through realized they are the problem?
Ludwig Vielfrass@RickiTarr Yes, and sometimes that person venting is me.
@lerxst Same lol
Billy SmithYes. :|
As Lao Tsu said, "Whenever I go for a walk with two people, I learn what to do, and what not to do." :D
Scott Williams 🐧@lerxst @RickiTarr Heh, yup, guilty.
kwayk42
FeloniousPunk@RickiTarr This happens when I talk to myself.
@FeloniousPunk Okay yeah, sometimes same, but I think saying stuff out loud to another person is a great way to figure it out lol
@RickiTarr I spend my days rubber-ducking solutions. Usually to problems I have created but, that's neither here nor there.
I AM BANKSY ☕ / 🗑🔥
ewan
PaulaToThePeople 😷@RickiTarr Every time a conservative opens their mouth.
ëRiC@PaulaToThePeople @RickiTarr does it really take half way tho? ;)
@ewerybody @RickiTarr Well, I only listen for 2 seconds max.
Steve GisselbrechtOh hell yes. It was all I could do not to scream at them.
GayDeceiver@RickiTarr ALL THE TIME
FurballsNHairballs@RickiTarr
Usually when it's the old everyone hates me line showing up.
Usually when it's the old everyone hates me line showing up.
DeanFarrell@RickiTarr More times than I care to remember.
Eric BonoYes, sometimes, halfway through venting over a problem
Cainmark Does Not Comply 🚲
May Likes Toronto@RickiTarr My friend sits there and just listens to me talk until I come to that conclusion.
@mayintoronto Honestly, same. There is power in saying or even typing something out loud to another person, even if in the end, what I get from it is that I'm overreacting or overthinking.
K4-713 
@RickiTarr I had a friend who slowly shedded all other modes of conversation over the course of about three years.
I sometimes wonder why they think we don't talk anymore... but I am not nearly curious enough to ask.
I sometimes wonder why they think we don't talk anymore... but I am not nearly curious enough to ask.
Eric G.@RickiTarr Trigger phrase "but I'm a good/nice/honest person"
@ericg OMG when someone tells me what a great parent they are/were, I automatically get suspicious, because the best parents I know recognize their failures, and want to do better.
tjhowse@RickiTarr Oh yes. And I start doing the mental arithmetic, weighing up my responsibility to this person, to myself and to society, to work out whether it's worth the hazards of offering advice.
Tim Richards@RickiTarr @GayDeceiver Oh yes indeed. Bit hard to express that thought though.
👩🦯The Blind Fraggle@RickiTarr Unfortunately that sort of thing takes me a long time to figure out, as in anywhere from months to years. Some people are full of stories about bad things that've happened to them, friends and others betraying them, and doors being slammed in their faces. And I feel bad for judging because some people just do have rotton luck in life, and sometimes life and other people are just that cruel. But then I see something for myself, and I have to start to question those stories.
Sheldon@Fragglemuppet there are people in my family who have undiagnosed psychiatric disorders and are very compelling storytellers. Everyone was very sympathetic to them and wanted to help until we started to discover that we were turning up in their stories to other people as the cause of their problems, sometimes in monstrous ways.
In one case, I confronted some of these other family members for their years of abuse and bullying only for them to confront me right back about my years of abuse and bullying.
That's when the lightbulb clicked on.
Misuse Case@sysop408 @Fragglemuppet @RickiTarr Oh, I’m familiar with this from the time I had a roommate with an unmanaged (but diagnosed) issue con me out of a significant amount of money in my early 20s. I also had a relative with schizoaffective disorder who ended up under my mother’s legal guardianship: since my mother managed her appointments, allowance, etc. she would blame my mom for everything she was unhappy about on a given day.
@MisuseCase schizoaffective disorder is exactly what I think one of my family members has. Innocent interactions from today will morph into something completely else when they're recalled from memory the next day. As with your mom's experience, any negative emotions they have gets confused as being produced by that completely unrelated interaction.
Deep Breath; Start Again@RickiTarr
So many times! I've gotten better at tuning them out.
So many times! I've gotten better at tuning them out.
Stumpy The Mutt@RickiTarr I have paid good money to a therapist to discover that!
Apprentice Bodega Cat 🐈⬛Basically every time I hear a politician speak these days.
Autumn Meadow@RickiTarr
It's me. I'm the problem. It's me.
It's me. I'm the problem. It's me.
DB@RickiTarr All the time
jeff@RickiTarr I feel attacked
Brooke Vibber 
@RickiTarr sometimes that happens when i'm talking to myself
PrinceOfDenmark@RickiTarr Ya and sometimes the problem is me.
Ambient Sponge@RickiTarr Oh yes. I knew this person who would endlessly vent to me about how awful their mother was and I'd say about 50% of the time it wasn't the mother's fault.
Guillotine Jones, Flâneur@RickiTarr
Personally, Ricki, I just hate it when I do that.
Personally, Ricki, I just hate it when I do that.
One World One People@RickiTarr
Leadership is to guide with confidence in your skills.
*Funny question, I used a phrase today that was from the boatyard busy days:
"Don't come into my wheelhouse with a problem and but not a solution."
The beginning of that reminder would send coworkers off to figure something out.
Peace.
Ed@OWOP @RickiTarr Had a boss (owner of the company) that if you came to him to complain about a problem he would try to fix it. We all soon learned stop doing that, generally (ok always) his solutions made it even worse!!!
Language is the stories that we tell. It is a fluctuating blend of both creativity and song.
*I've got another phrase I pull out at benefits or parties, goes like this:
"So, what's your job?"
And after listening to an elaborate description for a while I say ...
"No, your job is the same as everyone else's. Your job is to make your boss look good and to look good doing it."
I'm mostly retired now but I still laugh at that and try.
Regards.
🇨🇦 Little-k@RickiTarr
Weekly ... 🙄
Weekly ... 🙄
Hugs4friends ♾🇺🇦 🇵🇸😷@RickiTarr Too many times. What to say? I mostly mouthed platitudes, and exited. I have trouble feeling empathy. They had victims for whom I did feel empathy.
Fish Id Wardrobe ⁂@RickiTarr about half the time.
Kim Possible 
@RickiTarr So many times. Especially friends who think every bad thing that happens to them is everyone else's fault and that they did not contribute in any way.
Я⊛ḶḶ model ☭this is encouarging. i've been operating on the idea that i must be a 'bad friend' since i tend to 'take the side' of the other party in these sort of conversations. i've learned to just shake my head sympathetically and keep my thoughts to myself.
@saltywizard @RickiTarr You'll know that it's them if it's never them.
Mar :🌻So many times, I have listened to myself and realized that I am the problem.
@RickiTarr
@RickiTarr
Alexander Dyas@RickiTarr Gets to being the default assumption at the start of the vent, and they have to prove me wrong.
Note - I’m as guilty of this as the next person. ✋
Note - I’m as guilty of this as the next person. ✋
kali@RickiTarr just now
epicdemiologist@RickiTarr Just recently, yes. A woman called our office tryng to find volunteer work in lieu of paying a traffic ticket and went on a rant about how people are getting hurt and killed in crashes and the police should be doing something about THAT instead. It was all I could do not to say "They did. They gave you a ticket for breaking the traffic laws."
Mike@RickiTarr It's usually me, and it's such a relief to realize I don't really care about the thing that was bugging me.
Mad Engineering@RickiTarr Welcome to customer service. 
@RickiTarr I don’t even need to verbalize it I think to myself “what fool left it like this” and I realize “oh, that fool is me.”
staringatclouds@RickiTarr Too often
Rory@RickiTarr I have. Never said anything to them though. If I did, that would have created more problems, LOL...