I've never managed to fit in to standard jobs for long. I'd try, wear myself out trying to conform to their rules and procedures, to get all the work done that they said was so important, and watch the other employees around me do less and get away with it and be rewarded. 1/3

#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Neurodiversity #Burnout #SelfEmployment

@hmm_cook

Really bland questions that keep coming to mind… (philosophical)

What is work?

Do you ever feel vagueness from words like “community”? (Wondering if Im the only one who feels a lot if vagueness from words that don’t seem vague to others…)

I have started talking about “meaningful activity” to mean my term for work to direct neurotypicals closer to my level of meaning. What do you think of when I say “meaningful activity” over “work”?

@hmm_cook

What is your comfort level with money? Mine is poor whenever people talk about earning it. I feel aversion.

I hate applying for anything… paperwork… I like filing away books for satisfaction… And doing care packages for meaning… and dancing for smiles and realized purpose.

@hmm_cook

Im a poor fit to run anything or be anything unfortunately…. I like to learn…

@Energetic_Nova
What if not fitting the standard expectations of this society doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, but is an indication that the society is too narrow?

@hmm_cook

Doesn’t matter. Im still not able to self actualize. Still getting denied for Developmentally disabled services. Still in extreme poverty because I cant get out of it.

@Energetic_Nova Self actualization is an enormously difficult goal when basic needs are not met.

@Energetic_Nova My guess would be that you have had bad experiences with money, or with its lack creating problems in your life?

For me that created a lot of resentment for a long time, along with a very unhealthy relationship with money. I've been working hard for the last several years too come to a better place. It helps to not be living in extreme poverty anymore, though money is still tight.

I come to see it as something neutral, but who we are will be reflected in how we use it. People who are jerks will be bigger jerks with more money. People who are generous will be more generous with more money.

@hmm_cook

Pressure to get jobs no one says yes to me for. Rejection trauma. Yelled at for asking for money. Grumbles when asking for money.