Heather Cookđź––Autistic Coach

I've never managed to fit in to standard jobs for long. I'd try, wear myself out trying to conform to their rules and procedures, to get all the work done that they said was so important, and watch the other employees around me do less and get away with it and be rewarded. 1/3

#ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #Autistic #Neurodiversity #Burnout #SelfEmployment

Mar 10 at 2:02pmWeb
Show threadHeather Cookđź––Autistic CoachMar 10
I was baffled, then resentful, then exhausted, and inevitably burn out in 2-3 years max. They ""said"" they liked my work ethic, but it never got me anywhere. There are a lot of individuals and groups like me who have systematically and deliberately been excluded from getting ahead in ways that other people take for granted.
Show threadHeather Cookđź––Autistic CoachMar 10
If you turned to self-employment, like me, and would like self-employment strategies that work WITH your neurowonderful brain, I'm launching a new course soon just for us: AuDHDers Work for Yourself Without Burning Out
Sign up for info → http://www.autismchrysalis.com/audhd-solopreneur
Show threadEnergetic NovaMar 10

@hmm_cook

Really bland questions that keep coming to mind… (philosophical)

What is work?

Do you ever feel vagueness from words like “community”? (Wondering if Im the only one who feels a lot if vagueness from words that don’t seem vague to others…)

I have started talking about “meaningful activity” to mean my term for work to direct neurotypicals closer to my level of meaning. What do you think of when I say “meaningful activity” over “work”?

Show threadEnergetic NovaMar 10

@hmm_cook

What is your comfort level with money? Mine is poor whenever people talk about earning it. I feel aversion.

I hate applying for anything… paperwork… I like filing away books for satisfaction… And doing care packages for meaning… and dancing for smiles and realized purpose.

Show threadEnergetic NovaMar 10

@hmm_cook

Im a poor fit to run anything or be anything unfortunately…. I like to learn…

Show threadHeather Cookđź––Autistic CoachMar 14
@Energetic_Nova
What if not fitting the standard expectations of this society doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you, but is an indication that the society is too narrow?
Show threadEnergetic NovaMar 14

@hmm_cook

Doesn’t matter. Im still not able to self actualize. Still getting denied for Developmentally disabled services. Still in extreme poverty because I cant get out of it.

Show threadHeather Cookđź––Autistic CoachMar 16
@Energetic_Nova Self actualization is an enormously difficult goal when basic needs are not met.
Show threadHeather Cookđź––Autistic CoachMar 14

@Energetic_Nova My guess would be that you have had bad experiences with money, or with its lack creating problems in your life?

For me that created a lot of resentment for a long time, along with a very unhealthy relationship with money. I've been working hard for the last several years too come to a better place. It helps to not be living in extreme poverty anymore, though money is still tight.

I come to see it as something neutral, but who we are will be reflected in how we use it. People who are jerks will be bigger jerks with more money. People who are generous will be more generous with more money.

Show threadEnergetic NovaMar 14

@hmm_cook

Pressure to get jobs no one says yes to me for. Rejection trauma. Yelled at for asking for money. Grumbles when asking for money.

Show threadmiaoueMar 10
@Energetic_Nova @hmm_cook i happened upon this toot and i find your comment about the vagueness of the word "community" relatable. to me it seems like an overly generic term for what is invariably something specific. community could describe an association of individuals, a profession, an entire demographic, a local area, or everyone with a shared identity or interest. in my experience it's not often clear from the context which one was intended.
Show threadEnergetic NovaMar 10

@miaoue @hmm_cook

Thank you. This response felt meaningful to me. I have to eat and sleep (i sleep in the day)

Show threadHeather Cookđź––Autistic CoachMar 14

@Energetic_Nova Yes, I do feel bigness from the word community. And I agree with the other comment.

I would also add that I think some people use the word because they're trying to create some feeling from a positive experience of community that doesn't actually exist in the current structure. Especially online communities tend towards this longing for a positive, mutually beneficial feeling that doesn't exist in the same way as it used to in small in person groups of supportive people.

Show threadEnergetic NovaMar 14

@hmm_cook

I like small groups…. Yeah. Always been a trio sort. And I like donkeys. Because they like to be in trios and with animals that arent the same as them. Not big groups like horses like.

I love their big expressive ears. I love how big and cartoony their heads are. And they have better eyes and lashes than I think horses have. Such big easy to read features.