Maartje

I should make a collection of opposite UK safety signs….

“Cash is kept here overnight, CCTV is out of operation”
“Caution dry floor”

Mar 5 at 11:12amWeb
Show threadMaartjeMar 5

“May i have your attention please, please forget about the gap between the train and the platform”

“If you see something that looks allright text the British Transport Comiments office at 61016, see it, compliment it, sorted”

Show threadMaartjeMar 5
“For your safety CCTV has been removed”
Show threadMaartjeMar 5
"Please leave all your personal belongings behind"
Show threadMaartjeMar 5
“This train will be taken out of passenger service, all stay please… all stay!”
Show threadMaartjeMar 5
24h CCTV is in operation from Sunday to Wednesday
Show threadMaartjeMar 6
“Seats are for feet”
“Seat of last resort, keep occupied when people who need it more ask”
Show threadMaartjeMar 6
“Never look both ways”
Show threadMaartjeMar 6
“Litter - dog waste rejected”
Show threadRealGene ☣️Mar 5
@maartje
So, 6 hours per day? 😀
Show threadPeter UpfoldMar 5
@maartje “Please don’t buy a ticket before boarding a train. You will not have to pay a penalty fare, and will not face prosecution”
Show threadJoshMar 5
@maartje
We're going to the *depot* hell yes
Show threadсерафими многоꙮчитїиMar 5

@maartje

No crime

6pm - 8am

Show threadHashbangperlMar 5
@maartje This would have to be double sided - one for trains, one for office evacuation / fire drills
Show threadHenryk PlötzMar 5

@maartje I mean, this is an actual call.

Some time ago I train I was on had an unscheduled stop and the announcement was for everyone to leave the train now, and go *through* the train station building to the other side.
... yep ... A short time later the bomb sniffing dogs arrived.

Show threadMika on rails Mar 6
@maartje would go hard at the door of a funeral service
Show threadjtonlineMar 5
@maartje "This door is extremely relaxed"
Show threadMaartjeMar 5
@jtonline "fire door keep open"
Show threadMario RestucciaMar 5
@maartje I want the French equivalents: "oubliez vos sacs!"
Show threadHraban (fiëé visuëlle)Mar 5

@maartje
“Please talk to the driver”

“Feel free to stick your fingers into the machine.”

“Please block this door.”

“This device is suitable to dry pets and children.” (maybe put this on a towel)

“Fun brake, pull at will.”

Show threadpromasuMar 5
@maartje
Did you mean: "May I have your ignorance please, please forget about the gap between the train and the platform"
Show threadetaMar 5
@maartje "police, don't follow this van"
Show threadjackMar 5
@eta @maartje if I had a van I'd definitely attach a sticker saying this
Show threadGaelan SteeleMar 5

@eta @maartje THIS VEHICLE IS FINE. DON’T CALL THE POLICE.

THIS VEHICLE IS FINE. DON’T CALL THE POLICE.

Show threadSundewMar 5
@mdemeulder Caution: Slippery wet ceiling
Show threadRC2014Mar 5
@maartje "Pull"
Show threadMartin Schröder 🇺🇳Mar 5
@maartje
@Computer ?
Show threadVic 🇪🇺Mar 5
@maartje "Tools left in this vehicle overnight. So many cool tools."
Show threadQuantum ⊂ AIMar 5

@maartje

"This van is loaded to the gunnells with exorbitantly expensive tools"

Show threadEmily_SMar 5

@pikesley @maartje

"This machine knows the difference between metal and flesh, and it does care."

with a nother label under it

"Don't make the machine upset"

Show threadQuantum ⊂ AIMar 5

@emily_s @maartje

"It has tasted blood before"

Show threadblueorangeblueMar 5
@maartje Running, bombing and petting in the pool is encouraged to ensure a good time
Show threadmyrtle 🏔️Mar 5
@maartje please leave your luggage unattended at all times. attended items may be removed or destroyed with warning
Show threadNIST Standard Reference BoyMar 5
@kbity @maartje unattended items may be added to or created, but don't worry you'll get a warning first
Show threadNeil HopkinsMar 5
@maartje @alicemcalicepants “Tripping opportunity!”
Show threadmillennial fulcrumMar 5
@maartje the Brexit Selection 🤌😂
Show threadgrepeMar 5
@maartje shouldn't it be "chill out, dry floor"?
Show threadWinnie 🏳️‍🌈Mar 5
@maartje "Unauthorized personnel only"
Show threadlnxtxMar 5
@maartje "Stairs are out of service, please do not use elevator"