Richard GoodwinFeb 3
JA Westenberg
Every enterprise app feels like typing on a mushy membrane keyboard. You click a button and get a gentle animation, a swooshy transition, a soft bounce, and zero clear feedback that anything actually happened. The entire B2B software industry optimized for how tools feel during a fifteen-minute sales demo instead of how they perform across an eight-hour workday, and the result is professional software with the tactile precision of poking a marshmallow.
Feb 3 at 5:18amTypefully
Show threadVissFeb 3
@Daojoan i keep fucking misclicking all over windows 11 because the startbar and its guts are made of fucking flan, and its just jigglywiggly. if i alt tab or close a window and mouse too fast, the entire contents of the fucker sqwoosh over to one side and i click on something else. its like wet, trolly musical chairs with custard desserts
Show threadmossmanFeb 3

@Viss @Daojoan for work Windows I just set everything to minimal fluff with the start button on the left etc.

The worst enterprise crap for me is Microsoft on mobile with a million layers of passwords, PIN entries and fingerprints. I bought a cheap phone three years ago to keep work separate from personal, and all that bloat is so heavy that I regularly mis-click because it is busy updating the screen while I'm trying to log in.

And now they're sending messages that I must update my Android to a newer version. It's THREE YEARS OLD!

Show threadLocalWiseGuyFeb 3
@Daojoan 💯💯💯
Show threadJWcph, Radicalized By DecencyFeb 3
@Daojoan 🎯🎯🎯
Show threadLars BartschFeb 3

@Daojoan

💯!

Show threadAllie!Feb 3

@Daojoan at a startup I worked at a long time ago the founder gave a demo where he was on a call in one ear and had a headset on the other ear with the developer who was real-time fixing things and making sure he went via the happy path.

He slowly hovered over buttons and you’d hear screaming from across the building like “no!!” and then gracefully just move on.

It was kind of impressive in a horrid way.

The industry is so full of lies, damned lies, etc.

Show threadAljoscha Rittner (beandev)Feb 3
@Daojoan
And then there is SAP 😂 (a good example for overloaded German UIx). And honestly, for professional workers, this can be fine.
Show threadStephan EggermontFeb 3
@beandev @Daojoan for the professional definition of fine: well, it is better than tracking and reporting it in Excel.
Show threadGunChleocFeb 3
@beandev @Daojoan This doesn't force you to obtain & enter information sequentially. I like.
Show threaddark_stangFeb 3
@Daojoan I've never seen a description of Jira so accurate
Show threadMaypop the DragonFeb 3
@Daojoan uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh
this reminds me of microslop teams, does that count
Show threadDan SchnauFeb 3
@maypop_neocities @Daojoan teams fits this yeah. Some days, it feels like an IRC client for a toddler rather than something for Big Kid Serious Work.
Show threadMaypop the DragonFeb 3
@danschnau @Daojoan they have put in effort to actively prevent me from using basic features of my browser such as middle clicking to open in a new tab, text editing is this inconvenient Not Markdown thing where it opens a laggy emoji picker whenever i use parentheses, trying to upload a file takes 1 morbillion clicks to get to the Actual File Picker, if a message fails to send it Just Sits There being confusing forever, etc
Show threadDan SchnauFeb 3
@maypop_neocities @Daojoan yeah it’s really frustrating. The halfway markdown editor is the worst.
Show threadDan SchnauFeb 3
@maypop_neocities @Daojoan I feel like it is just way slower than it should be
Show threadMaypop the DragonFeb 3
@danschnau @Daojoan if your context menu needs a loading screen you're doing something horribly wrong
Show threadBrandonFeb 3
@Daojoan this is the nicest thing I've ever heard said about B2B software @dahukanna
Show threadNeil MoffattFeb 3
@Daojoan Marketing is one of the worst enemies of ergonomic software. They act in direct opposition to the foundational design principle that form follows function.
Show threadSkjeggtrollFeb 3

@Daojoan

From The Australian: "the chilling admission emerging after a cybersecurity expert’s 15-hour interrogation session."

15 effing hours. Christ on a marmite cracker.

Show threadSpace HoboFeb 3
@Daojoan
Remember: the definition of Enterprise software is *unfinished* software. They're hired to embed themselves to develop it in perpetuity, and have no inventive to do anything but continuously overpromise on the capabilities of their services and toolkits.
Show threadbdf2121cc3334b35b6ecda66e471Feb 3
@Daojoan I call this kind of software Playmobil sets
Show threadchmod 777 KayfoxFeb 3

@Daojoan Gawd yes, every new version of an application seems to show less information, more blank space, and slower.

Like okay I _get_ that whitespace makes for an aesthetically pleasing design, but I'm at _work_ I need my tools to be functional, I genuinely don't care if they're pretty or not.

I have recently been playing with Stylus so I can tweak the CSS on web interfaces. Mostly to fix some apps that are borked in firefox. I wish I could do so in work, but we're locked down from using such things.

Show threadNickyFeb 3
@kay @Daojoan the blank space thing drives me nuts. There are so many things I used to be able to do with one click and several windows tiled, that are now hidden until I go full screen, or hidden in menus. It's a workflow nightmare.
Show threadPeet TetterooFeb 3
@Daojoan Switch to Linux Mint minimal telemetry and free of charge..
Show threadRealGene ☣️Feb 3

@Daojoan
If I adjust the volume of my hearing aids by pressing either of two very tiny buttons on the earpiece, I get a little chime to let me know it was accepted, or a limit reached.

In the companion Android app, connected via Bluetooth, the corresponding volume slider moves up/down accordingly.

But if I adjust the volume via the app by moving that same slider, there's no confirming chime from the hearing aids themselves.

If, however I change the signal processing mode (i.e. conversation in noisy situations, or listening to music) from the app, there *is* a distinct confirmation chime.

Just not for the absolutely most common adjustment, volume.

Show threadMay Likes TorontoFeb 3
@Daojoan Joke's on you. I only work on $$$$$$$ B2B products that you only touch 15 minutes once a week, but you get no swooshy marshmallow transition, only ridiculously inaccessible numbers and graphs in your face!!!
Show threadCurioFeb 3
@Daojoan
I just tried setting up a drop-off permission with UPS today, once again I gave up.
Show threadGeorg Arne SpendenFeb 3
@Daojoan I used to work in that domain. You wouldn't believe the amount of pressure to deliver "an experience", a "modern, clean UI". The fun part was that after each design iteration a performance taskforce was called in to throw all the animations out again.
In B2B, you have demoware and actual usable software. The latter is being handled under the radar of, and "in spite" the entire sales process.